I Feel Like Killing My Self

12 Replies
Pinky - October 26

Well I found out im pregnant. My mom is not supporting me she said she's gonna make me have an abortion or she's gonna get my uncles to beat me so i`ll loose the baby. I'm 15 turning 16. I told her I don't wanna kill the baby and I want to keep it but she doesn't understand.She said I'm gonna look so ridiculous with a baby & that no man is ever gonna look my way anymore, she said I can't provide anything for my baby. Plus i'm Hispanic and the baby's daddy is Black and my mother doesn't accept that eather. Plus the baby's daddy is this man that she hates. I told her I would leave the house if she touches the baby, all she does is makes things worse she's making me go crazy. The baby's daddy is only 19 and he told me he's not ready for a kid. I'm not ready eather but it was my mistake & i will take the resposibilities and take care of it but she doesn't understand. Please somebody give me advice I'm busting in tears. I want everybody to leave me alone & let me have the baby by my self but its not happening.

 

nell - October 26

perhaps you should consider adoption. There are a lot of people out there who would take very good care of your baby. Also you are only 15 and you have so much more life to live. Try to tell your mom you want to talk about it like the adults you are. You made a very serious decision to have s_x make the serious decision to atleast discuss other options with your mother. I use to just scream at my mom at your age instead of listening.... once she calms down from the initial shock I would try discussing it again.

 

nicky - October 26

i agree with nell...give your mom a chance to calm down. if she stills has the same att_tude, then go talk to someone with social servies. they will be able to help you, and if they can't they can point you in the right direction. ultimately it is your choice.

 

kristal - October 26

#1 don't kill your self #2 call the social services if your mother tries to have you beat up by your uncles that is abuse and attemped murder. You are to young to have s_x but you have made the mistake so now you have to figure out what to do . I think nell had a good suggestion with the adoption. You are to young to be a mother but with God anything is possible. think about and pray for your mother.

 

Hannah - October 27

Abortion is always an option. Having been there, I would say don't do it. My friends would tell you do it. There is a pill you can take before 8 weeks that will cause a miscarriage. You can get this information at planned parenthood.

 

Trisha - October 27

I know how had this is for you, I to was pregnant at 15. the dad wanted nothing to do with her and still dont she is now 11. The only thing is ., is that I had support by my parents I moved away from home by my own choice when she was 3 mths worked 2 jobs and went on to be a nurse. All I can say is this is your choice not your moms PLEASE go talk to someone , Let then know your moms plans and I promise they will help you. It is so hard I know I have been there. But just be strong for you and your baby. If you feel like you just want to talk you can E mail me [email protected]

 

Angela W. - October 27

Hi, I got pregnant with my first child when I was 16. Luckily I had the support of my boyfriend (now husband), however, I did NOT have any support from my family, and one of my aunt's actually did come over to "talk" with me and ended up beating and choking me, it was the scariest time of my life. I do not know where you are from, but Catholic Social Services is a great place to go to get support and information on your options- Don't worry, you do NOT have to be Catholic to get their help- I CERTAINLY wasn't! If you do not have any around you, I would suggest looking for a social worker at job and family services or something like that, there are houses for young ladies like yourself where they can find a safe place to live while they are preg, whether they are going to allow adoption or parent- my social worker always said, you're not "giving up" or "keeping", you are making the decision to parent or choose adoption. I did seriously think of adoption, there are great options like open adoption where you will get to pick the family that your baby would go to and have a relationship that is to your comfort level. I think if I had been on my own, I probably would have chosen adoption. I think it is wonderful that you want to take responsibility, but sometimes that means making the BEST choice for someone you love, you know what they say, sometimes you love someone so much, you have to let them go. However, that being said, every situation is different and if you think that you can honestly devote your ENTIRE life to your angel, I really encourage you to go to a place where you can get the support you need to raise your child. Also know that alot of things change in families once they see the baby, my mother threw me out and barely spoke to me until my angel was born, but now she calls him the center of the universe and has even come around to my DH, something I NEVER thought would happen. If you do decide to parent, make sure you use their determination to see you fail as your determination to succeed- in parenting and in school. PLEASE don't drop out, if you want to be a productive member of society you have got to have an education and your baby deserves a mother who has one. Anyway, sorry to ramble, but I TRULY do feel your pain and would very much like to help you. You can email me @ [email protected] if you would like to talk at all about anything. Good Luck - I know you will make the best decision for yourself and your baby.

 

Em - October 27

do not kill yourself or that baby. Life is precious. Give your mom time to calm down. Try talking to her as an adult. After all you made a very adult decison to have s_x and now you are making the very adult decision to take care of your baby. Maybe you can talk to a trusted teacher or counsler or clergyman. Maybe they can help you talk to your mom. Just please don't harm your baby. I had a m/c, and it was the most awful thing in the world. If you can't provide for your baby, concider adoption. I know it would be hard to give your baby up, but at least you would know you were trying to care for it the best you can. If you want to keep it, try and find support in a orgaization like a pergnancy resource center or social services. Catholic and Christian Chariteis and Centers are also a great place. Take care of you and your baby! God Bless

 

To Pinky - October 27

I'm so sorry that your mother isn't being very motherly at the moment. Please don't say that you are going to kill yourself. The baby you want to keep would be killed as well and 2 precious lives would be lost over something that isn't as bad as you think. I know that it is hard, but your mother is wrong! I understand her anger, but not her hostility. She is probably very scared for all of you. That being said, Em is right, you can go to Social Services or Catholic charities and they will help you. The Catholic Charities are in most cities. They can also help you find a safe home to live in while you are pregnant. They will help you go to school and give you parenting cla__ses. If you choose to place the baby for adoption, they can help you find a good couple. I understand why you want to keep your baby. It will be very hard for you at your age, but you can do it. As far as men go, your mom is wrong there too. I found one, and he loves me and my children. So don't let others make a choice that only you have to live with. I will keep you in my prayers.

 

Rachel - October 27

I'd give your mom a little more time, but some of the stuff she is saying is horrible. Maybe you can make the dad pay child support. He's 19, he should have a job. If your uncle tries to beat you, call the police and have him put in jail, and possibly your mom, for conspiracy or something. I respect you greatly because you are one of the few people that come on here and realized they made a mistake and ready to take responsibility.

 

Maggie - October 27

Pinky, my best friend had a baby at 15, and although it was hard she made it through. She's now married to a wonderful man, and her son is happy and healthy at 11 years old. You can do this. If you feel that threatened by your mom call social services because its abuse. I would also suggest you get in touch with planned parenthood. They can maybe help you find a home you can stay at during your pregnancy. You should also look into a program like job-corps, so you can finish school and have a career. You can do this. Your #1 priority right now is your baby. Do what you have to do to protect your child.

 

HotRodGurl - October 27

Ok, maybe I missed it but did anyone in here mentioned that her mom could have him arrested for having s_x with a minor??? He's 19 and she's only 15 or 16...doesn't matter if it was consent or not...law is law. Also, everyone on here have great inputs and I agree with many of you.

 

To Pinky - November 2

Hey Pinky, Just wondering how you are kiddo...if you're still out there??

 

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