I M Sad Not Due To Ttc Just General

18 Replies
Rainbowbrite - February 8

My db left today for out of town and this is the first time in three years we've been apart like this. I know some of you have been in the same shoes... but how do you keep yourself busy? we don't have any kids or pets... its been just him and i and now the thought of going home and him not being there is so devastating. he is only gone until Tuesday night at like 9pm, but i have the whole weekend ahead of me... and nothing to do... he has already text me alot telling me how he is sad to be gone and how i'm the love of his life and can i send him a pic of my beautiful face so i mean it isn't like we don't have ANY contact, but normally my day is filled with emails back and forth all day and us being together all night... (we are pretty boring) we just watch tv, play xbox together, eat dinner, run to walmart.. lol then we shower and go to bed... but he is always there holding me on the couch and giving me feet rubs and i am really going crazy. He had a grandpa that died and due to circ_mstances at work i could not go. I mean i hope he'll be okay he went down with his mom and his sister to Alabama. But i mean i really think i'm gonna end up going to bed at like 7 because i'll get off work go home and shower eat dinner and then nothing... i'm sure he'll have more contact with me but i guess when someone is not around it really makes you see how much you do enjoy them... I'm not trying to wine or be a big ol' baby but i love him so much and my poor house is gonna be empty without him.. i saw him off this morning... isn't that sad how crazy i'm already going?

 

Megs - February 8

Ah... I'm in your shoes! Dh is in training FOREVER. Well, actually, he's home this week but leaves again Sun. for a week and will continue that for two weeks, home a week, and gone for two more weeks. I feel ya! Fortunately, I have animals to keep me company. Mainly my dogs... :-) I have kept myself busy by doing various projects around the house. I re-painted the kitchen and laundry area, I've done some DEEP cleaning! Honestly, I miss him but I've been able to do things around the house that if he were here wouldn't have gotten done... :-) At least he'll be home for Valentine's Day. Maybe do a little project. if you're creative and up for it... Put together a little sc___p book of your lives together thus far... It'd be a GREAT Valentine's gift. You can plan a great dinner welcome home thingy. Just the two of you. Make it nice and romantic. I get through my coutning the days and doing things that make me think of him. Unforutnately, Dh is in training from 7am-7pm and then goes out to dinner and back to the hotel to study for tests the next day... :-( You'll get through! It makes you stronger, I PROMISE! :-) I'll be here to keep ya company. LOL

 

Rainbowbrite - February 8

Thanks for responding megs! yeah i already decided i was gonna stop by walmart tonight and buy a journal/diary i saw there and fill it out each day he is gone about what i'm feeling and what i'm missing about him... that is a good idea... some deep cleaning can be done... that will be done this weekend... it just sucks.. i mean i know he don't WANT to be away and he needs to be there for his grandpas funeral... it just sucks.. he is such a sweetheart he left me a card this morning and had it all filled out and he wrote stuff to me and of course that makes me cry much harder... i saw him get teary eyed and seeing him sad makes me more sad.. lol.. oh boy... thanks for listening and reading my little tid bit up there!!! you're suggestions were great!!!

 

DaBonkElsMe - February 8

I know how you feel, my DH has been away the past two nights, but he'll be home tonight - just in time for me to O YAY!! But he goes away like this pretty often, so I have gotten used to it. I use the time to reconnect with myself and do the things that I enjoy, the things that make me - me. Sometimes I will invite my girfriends over or chat with them on the phone, but more often I do things like, rent a movie I know he wouldn't want to watch, read - I love a good book and when he is not home it's the perfect opportunity to catch up on new releases! I do spa night, hot bath, mani/pedi. I turn up the ipod and dance around the living room like I am a rock star ;) shhhh - don't tell anyone that!! lol I also love crafts so I sometimes work on a project while he's gone. I also clean, likes Megs said and I like her idea of sc___p booking! I do that sometimes too. I usually go to bed late when I am alone, because going to bed is the saddest part for me. I hate getting in our bed alone, and I never sleep well when he's gone! It's hard, even after four years, I still get lonely and miss him like crazy, but sometimes I even treasure a little bit of alone time.

 

Megs - February 8

Ah, dabonk i agree! When DH is gone, you'll see me on here REALLY late! LOL I hate sleeping alone and can't seem to fall asleep unless I am really tired and I usually wake up really early too... :-) I can just imagine you dancing around with a mask on your face and those toe things between your toes with your pedicure drying! LOL That's pretty funny!!! :-) Ah, a trick I have found for myself... When I do go to sleep, I turn on the humidifier becuase it makes just enough noise to drown out all the "normal" noises the house and neighbors make but I just don't notice them when DH is here but it allows me to still hear something if need be. Just my little trick. :-)

 

Megs - February 8

The first time DH left me was when we were married for a little over 1 year. He went to Wisconsin for a week... That was CRAZY! LOL I made a week out of it! LOL I had my girlfriends over one night, went out with some other friends the next, I spent my day off cleaning like a mad women, and had another girlfriend over to spend the day with me. It was fun but at the same time it was so nice to have DH home! Ah, and I also had someone spend the night with me two of those nights becuase I was scared out of my m ind!! (We had just had a robbery a couple weeks prior at our Apts so I could just imagine what would happen if they broke in without DH there! LOL) Don't feel guilty for enjoying yourself while he is gone. It's okay and rather healthy... :-) Like Dabonk said, you are able to do things that make you, you! Enjoy this time while it lasts and you'll enjoy Dh even more! At least I do... :-)

 

DaBonkElsMe - February 8

Megs - I turn the TV on low to fall asleep when he is gone. If it is up too loud I want to watch and it keeps me up, but if I put it on low, it makes enough noise to just cover up the night sounds that can creep you out!! And LOL about the visual of me dancing around - it's not too far off!!!

 

mandababy27 - February 8

My db went away to florida for 2 weeks with a buddy and i was devistated we hadnt been away from each other a single night in almost 2 years....... so i know wher eyour coming from.. just keep yourself busy and watch some tv.. visit with friends u dont normally get to see and i'm sure u can talk to him on the phone<3

 

Rainbowbrite - February 8

Thank you so much for all your suggestions! it really means alot! And see now i haven't heard from him in a couple of hours so now i am worried and hope nothing has happened to him... =( I mean IM SURE he is okay but i just don't KNOW! SPEAKING OF HIM!!! he just sent me a text telling me hes missing me and that he had fallen asleep... Yeah! I feel semi good now!!! =) i still hate the fact he is gone but i feel ALOT better knowing he is okay... i hate how your mind can mess with you. He is my world! my protector... i'm not like the smallest woman in the world.. but he is bigger than me... do you guys want to talk about our men? I am 5'7, 130-135lbs.. and he is 6'5 and 300+ lbs.... yeah he is such a big teddy bear... but he always gets asked if he plays football cuz he is so big.. and he hates it because he actually loves basketball... lol... Awe how sweet... he just sent one saying he loves me with all his heart and not to forget about him.. little does he know i'm talking about him RIGHT now! LOL But i'm sure i will get lost in my "girlie" movies and i have a dvr so i have my baby shows taped and american idol... lol...

 

VenusdiMilo - February 8

Rainbowbrite, I know exactly how you’re feeling. I just went through that phase with my DH….it’s FREAKING HARD!! I don’t think I’ll ever get use to him traveling. I couldn’t go to sleep until about 1 AM every night (or morning) And, as for bedtime, I used pillows to mimic him and I had a sweater with his cologne on it and it helped me….sorry girl :-(

 

krissy2006 - February 8

LADIES!!! I know EXACTLY how you all feel. It hasn't happened in over 8 months but at one point my hubby and I were separated for 3 whole months on 4 seperate occa__sions!! I, here in the United States and him, on tour in southern Mexico. I couldn't do anything. I was paralyzed. My whole life stood still, on hold, waiting until the next time I could see him, smell him, sleep with him, make love to him!!! I would eat, sleep, dream and breathe him every day and every night and it worried me so badly when I would call his parents' house and he was supposed to be there but he wasn't. His mom would a__sure me he was fine, he just went to the plaza or just went here or there or he's with his friends but it KILLED ME!!!! We would always set times for each other to call and sometimes he would be late and I would always fear the worst! Car accidents, Mexican Mobs, terential flood, lightening, rabid dogs, they all entered and flew around my mind like angry bees not letting me sleep. And only once every three months could I go see him and it was torture!!! I would go see him, once for three weeks, once for two and then finally I quit my job and went down there for 6 months, and then we came back together, but GEEZ it was soooooooo hard. I am so glad now because he finally got a job where he is working normal hours in the evening from like 4pm - 12am. Before he was working a (fill in) job where he was working from 8pm - 4am!!! and I couldn't sleep. I had to work at 6am in the morning and I would just stay away all day and all night and only get 1 hr sleep between 4 and 5!!! That was awful too!! There is nothing worse than an empty bed with his body imprint in it to make your eyes well up and your lower lip quiver and just squeeze your pillows willing it to be him... so yeah... I'm totally with ya'll!!! Been there, done that, NEVER EVER EVER WANNA BE THERE AGAIN!!!!!!

 

krissy2006 - February 8

OH AND I FORGOT TO MENTION THE WORST THING ABOUT MEXICO!!! I mentioned DH was on tour(he's a musician)!!! Well that in itself says EVERYTHING!!! I found myself so jealous just thinking of all the girls watching him, singing along to his songs and being in the same vicinity as him!!!!! It made me crazy, rabid, and worst of all it made me very insecure... but I'm getting over that!!! So yeah . . . how come this forum has been so slow today?

 

VenusdiMilo - February 8

Krissy, I guess people are BDing LOL!!

 

Kelsey - February 8

This does realy suck ladies. But I always just try and tell myself that it could be worse. My DB and I have been through a year long Iraq deployment and will have to go through another this August :(

 

krissy2006 - February 8

oh wow Kelsey, that is soooo hard. How do you deal???????? I would go stark raving MAD I tell you!!! MAD!!!!

 

Kelsey - February 8

It's horrible, i'm not going to lie. It hurts worse than anything I could ever imagine. The not knowing if he's the soldier that they're talking about on the news :(

 

DaBonkElsMe - February 8

Kelsey "wins"! That must be so hard! But thank you both for the sacrafice you are making to uphold the freedoms of our country. War sucks, but if we didn't have people like you and your DH, we wouldn't be America!! And Venus, I where my DH's T-shirts to bed when he is away!! It helps a tiny bit! Speaking of my DH he should be here any minute, I better go get s_xy for him!!!

 

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