IT S JUST NOT FAIR

17 Replies
j - May 4

why is my sister in law who is pregnant for the 3rd time in 2 years pregnant again? She had 2 abortions and now she is keeping this one. i'm happy for her but at the same time I am so angry b/c she wasn't even trying. She was on the pill all 3 times she got pregnant!

 

Daisy Jean - May 4

Hi, J. This is difficult. Why is it teeneagers seem to have no problem getting pregnant, either, and great people who are waiting for parenthood with open arms, can't get it to work right? It definitely is not fair. I think your turn will come. In my family, babies tend to come in groups- maybe your new baby is just around the corner. I will say a little prayer for you, if you like. Good luck to you.

 

Kimberly - May 4

Hi J, I wish I had answers for you. When I lost my baby 8 years ago there were stories all over the news about how a girl gave birth to her baby at her high school prom and left it in the bathroom and a story about a couple who just had septuplets. Sometimes life just sux.

 

Cutie - May 4

I can really relate j... My sis in law also got pregnant.... it makes me sooo mad, and really depressed.... We need to look up and pray and I know that God will give it to us one day.

 

J - May 6

thanks for responding. my sister in law isn't a teenager she is 27. it's just so frustrating. i want a baby so bad. i want to be a mommy.

 

Cee Bee - May 6

Hi everyone - my answer would be to try not to feel bitter towards anyone else who does fall pregnant - no matter how much they wanted it, or how much you want one. you need to remain happy and in a positive frame of mind for your own sake (mind and body). I truly believe that during these times of TTC, we need to remain calm and positive - truly believe it will help. Stressing over why "xxxx" got pregnant, or what every little symptom is/isn't - will not help. Having said that, I know that it is difficult not to stress - but just all take a deep breath - be positive - smile - and move forward....There is lots of support here but you must remain positive...(god I sound too sickly sweet - I just feel so much stress on this forum - understandably - but we gotta think about how we feel)

 

J - May 6

CEE BEE you are right. and I appreciate your positive att_tude. It's so hard. Like when my bf and I are TTC I'm praying.. please let this be the time I get pregnant. I know that's wrong and I should enjoy what we're doing, but i figure a little prayer cant hurt.

 

Cee Bee - May 6

No worries J - try to get on with things without focussing too hard (Again,i know it's difficult). They say it happens when you least expect it. Happy positivie thoughts - OK....

 

Googie - May 7

thats not true, im 17 and trying to get pregnant for the past 9 months (complicated so dont judge me) and i have been so unsucessful.

 

Cee Bee - May 8

Hi Googie - what's not true? And who do you feel is judging you?

 

Want to be a mom - May 8

J-- I know the feeling also. My sister-in-law has 2 kids and she keeps talking about how they are so hard and she wishes that she did not have them. I just sit there and think about how much I want a baby and how she can just push it off as a ha__sal. I can tell you to keep you chin up but I know that is easier said then done.

 

Pat - May 8

Hi ladies. Just remember one thing, and this one thing is the only thing that pulls me through my battle with infertility: A child comes from only one source. GOD. He decides to either give you one, or not. It's absolutely his choice and priviledge. He creates and takes life as he pleases. If you are angry at all the other women who do fall pregnant, you are actually angry at God. I've been around the block ladies, and I've fought long and hard with God on this. Why me? Why not somebody else? But all in all, just know he knows you inside and out, and he has reasons for why he is allowing stuff to happen or not happen for you. THERE ARE REASONS FOR THIS, but it's not your place to be angry about this. God made us all, and he's blessing us with so many other things. Who the hell are we to question his decisions? Talk to God about this. ASK HIM to bless you. And if he does, THANK HIM afterwards. If he doesn't, have patience and let it happen in his time. God is the only Person who can console me month after month when I sit on that frickin' public toilet with the test in my hand, always with a negative result. EVERY TIME I cry. EVERY TIME I pray and I drag myself up the stairs and back to work. and I just know: One day, I will sit there and it will be positive. God WILL bless me, when he pleases, not when I please!!! I trust him. You should too. Good luck ladies, I have so much empathy with you!!

 

jen - May 8

Pat, so what you're saying is that if i don't get pregnant it's b/c GOD doesn't want me to be? I don't understand, I haven't done anything to deserve not having a child. What about the people who never get pregnant, what have they done?

 

milika - May 9

Most likely if u dont want a child, than it will happen. And if u do than it wont. And Googie what are u doing trying to have a child at 17! I am 19 years old. and raising a child is something u have to be prepared for. And getting pregnant wasnt on my mind. It was something that just happened. But i am mature enough to accept responsibility. And to J, i feel u girl. Everything is for a reason. And to all the ladies. It will come dont worry. And may God bless u all.

 

milika - May 9

But to all the teengers dont try to get pregnant. Because living ur life while ur a teen is the best thing. And Googie that is exactly what u need to do. Instead of trying to get pregnant. Wait until ur married with a real man. Who will provide for u and ur child.

 

Pat - May 9

Jen, no, read my post again. I never said God won't grant you a child because you did something wrong. That is your own a__sumption. And a wrong one at that. Nobody can do something right (or wrong, for that matter) to deserve a child. It is a blessing. If you are not allowed to fall pregnant, God would have reasons for that. I cannot tell you what they would be. I don't know why God is keeping me (so far) from falling pregnant. But I do know that it's nothing I've done wrong, and neither because God doesn't love me. He loves me very very much. He will allow me parenthood when he feels I'm ready. I know how you feel, but you gotta believe your life is being steered by God. Good luck!

 

hi - May 9

sometimes i wonder if couples who are wonderful people can't conceive because God (or Higher Spirit) knows that there are children out there in desperate need of great parents. children who are already born but with no one there to love them - or in a position to take care of a new little life. They deserve loving parents as well. i have a friend who is adopted from korea, and she would not have had a chance for survival if she had not been adopted - she was seriously sick when she at 2 months came to her parents. i hope i have not offended anyone with my comment - if i did i apologize - i am just as well trying to figure out the reason to why some perfectly nice people can't conceive, while some not so deserving people do even if they don't want to.... good luck to all.

 

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