J Lo Are You There

55 Replies
motherof20 - March 31

How is everything going. I've been checking the other post but haven't heard anything from you. I wanted to make sure you're okay.

 

J-lo1629 - March 31

motherof20: Hey i'm so sorry i haven't posted anything but yesturday i stayed home because i was throwing up all day and my boyfriend couldn't wait any longer to see what was wrong with me so we took a pregnancy test(ept) and well it came out positive. What do i do now? i don't have a doctor and i'm scared because in 68 days i'm going to move to colorado and i don't really want to tell my mom. do you have any advice?

 

tiffani - March 31

Here's an outsiders advice. Eventually your mom is going to find out, so the sooner you let the cat out of the bag, the better. In order to have a healthy baby, you need to be under the care of a doctor. Prenatal vitamins are also needed to help fight against birth defects. Your Mom needs to be told ASAP so she can get you the necessary care you need. Good Luck! :o)

 

jenice - March 31

j-lo: i've read many of your posts, and am impressed with your maturity! (i'm 20 and am waiting to find out if i'm pg, and i think you've been handling things better than i have!) i'm so sorry that you've been so sick, and i hope that pa__ses quickly for you. remember, stress and worry wreak havoc on your system and your tummy, so the sooner you are able to relieve your worrying, the better. by already knowing that you're pg, you've taken away a lot of stress, but you really need to tell your mom soon. i understand how hard it is to tell her. maybe writing her a note, telling her your situation, your plans, and your boyfriends plans will help. (but be there when she reads it, so you can talk) she'll be worried, cuz you're her little girl, and she might freak out. but in the long run she'll be glad that you told her and respected her enough to come to her as an adult. give her a little time, and she'll be excited with you, and busy planning. (my mom was when i told her i was engaged, and by the time the wedding happened, she was fine.) so, give your mom some time, talk with her calmly, and expect some tears. remember, she loves you tons, and at one point, she was going through exactly what your body is going through! my prayers are with you j-lo girl!

 

jenice - March 31

i forgot...you should head to a doctor and make sure you are doing everything possible to keep baby healthy! :)

 

motherof20 - March 31

Hi J-Lo Do you know what you're going to do about the baby? My a__sumption would be that you're keeping this baby. From what we have talked about before - it didn't sound like you and your mom were very close?? Are you afraid of disappointing her or are you afraid that she will try and prevent you from moving to Colorado (which if you don't mind me asking - what's in Colorado?) What is your fear of telling your mom? I know that I had the same fears - believe me it's an awful feeling to feel so frightened and alone - when all was said and done my mom was very supportive. You have a lot of things going on right now - and need to take one thing at a time. Do you have a primary care doctor that you see if you're sick? If yes, you need to call them and get some referrals to an ob/gyn - the most important thing right now is to take care of yourself and that baby. You need to be on prenatal vit. asap. Let the doctor know that you have plans to move to another state - they'll help you locate a doctor there. (I wish you were moving to Boston - I really want to help you through this). Now that you know for sure that you are pregnant it's not going to go away so we have to find solutions for you. Let me know what you've decided to do about the baby. What your fear of telling your mom is. Whether or not you have a doctor. We will work through one issue at a time. It is frightening and I'm sorry that you are going through that - but this will work if YOU want it too. Please trust me in that. Keep me posted - I'm attached now and I'm going to worry about you - mother's instincts. I'll be thinking of you.

 

Layla - March 31

Girl I feel for you I've been there. Are you off to college in CO? Your BF may want you to stay now. As far as mom goes I had my sister tell her so she could deal with the first reaction instead of me. I know this is tough and would be easier if you didn't have to deal with other people in your life. Try not to let Mom get you down but I would suggest telling her and getting it all out and in the open. Keep in mind this going to be a shock for Mom and try to understand her feelings too in this reguardless if she handles it correctly or not. Best wishes!

 

J-lo1629 - April 1

jenice: Thank you very much for commenting. Thanks for the advice as well. Your right about releving a lot of stress when i finally found out but now i'm just worried about my mom.

 

J-lo1629 - April 1

motherof20: Well you guessed right. I'm going to have my baby, although i'm very scared and very nervous i wouldn't give it up for the world. Besides my boyfriend is so happy, before we found out he would spoil me rotten and now i can't even clean because he doesn't want me to move. He told me that he always knew i was pregnant but he just wasn't sure i guess now i know why he had been lying on my stomach and kissing it so much. He really is a very good person and i love him very much. OOps i kind of got of topic right.(ha ha) Well I've never been really close to my mother we've had so many problems and it's always because she puts me last when i need something everyone else comes first but i mean it's ok i got over it, she just has done so much wrong to me and hurt me in so many ways. Well i'm kind of scared of both. But i'm more scared that i'm going to disapoint her. Well no not really i'm really upset because i'm not going to get the support i need from her but all she is going to do is say "I TOLD YOU SO". It's okay though because i'm still going to graduate this year and i'm a 3 year grad and i'm still going to college to become a pharmacists. I wish i could finish writing but the bell just rang. I'll be back to answer the rest of your questions ASAP!!!! Just keep checking okay.

 

J-lo1629 - April 1

Layla: thanks alot i would write more but i got to go. Thanks for the support.

 

J-Lo - April 1

Sounds like you're very lucky to have your boyfriend - he sounds very mature, sincere and just as in love with you - is he much older than you? As for your mom - I'm so sorry to hear these things - I can't imagine it. Our children should always come first - nothing else matters. It makes me so angry that you feel that alone - have you said these things to your mom? I wouldn't worry about what she is going to say or about disappointing her because from the sounds of it - she's been a disappointment to you. In any case, tell her. Get it out in the open but don't allow it to become a "I told you so" you've made up your mind (and I'm so happy for you - I'm scared too to be honest - because it is frightening and it is a lifetime commitment) but as a teen mom who's been there - God bless you for making the decision you've made. As for school, you should be very proud of yourself - you must be so smart - 3 year graduate - and wanting to become a pharmacist.. that's fantastic. Keep aiming for those goals - you're on your way. You sound so much more mature than I was at 16. I'm blabbling now - sorry. So, first thing is to find a doctor for you. Then, tell you're mom. Be prepared for what she may throw at you (disappointing, you're ruining your life, etc...) all you need to say without being too disrespectful (I've made my decision, this is what I want and because I'm going to make this baby my #1 priority I will go to college and I will accomplish everything there is to accomplish for MYSELF AND MY BABY!!!!!!!! I hope to talk to you today - but if not, I'm off to Florida on Wednesday so I'll only have access to the computer Mon and Tues. Always here for you!

 

J-lo1629 - April 1

motherof20: Thank you for all your support and hopefully i'll be able to answer all your questions today. I'm in cla__s right now so i'm kind of going back and forth, but don't worry i'm still doing my work. I am trying my best to take things one day at a time. I know it's going to be harder for me to get a doctor because i don't have insurance, i don't have a primary care doctor, and i don't have an OB/gyn. But my boyfriend and i will start looking well while i'm at school he has been talking to some of his sisters to ask about where we should go and how are we supposed to get a doctor. Oh yeah there is a better job waiting for my boyfriend in Colorado so we are going to move there. He is going to pay for my college but i might take morning cla__ses for 1 sem. then after the baby is born i can finish my 2nd sem. but then again i think it's better to go to college next year. so i can have all my cla__ses with out confusion. hopefully one day he will get a job in Boston so we can move over there and i can finally meet you. I do want it to work out and i'm going to make it work out. Man the bell just rang but I'll be back. Keep checking please i have so much to say. I'll be back...

 

Layla - April 1

Well it's a good thing you already had a few plans in place that will benefit your current situation. If there is a better job for your BF in CO it could very well have good Insurance?! You could marry him and receive his benefits which would cover maternity. I was 8 1/2 wks before I saw a Dr due to lack of ins. I know you would be further along than that but it's something to think about. In the mean time you could set a local appt to verify everthing is OK and plan for future care in CO. Just an idea I know you two are considering all options. Hang in there! :)

 

motherof20 - April 1

Don't worry about when we can talk - cla__s is more important and I keep checking on a regular basis to see if you've replied. Are there any clinics near you - does your boyfriend have insurance where he is now (I think you said your moving to CO in like 65 days or something so that's to long to go without a doctor. Go online and check out any clinics in your area and in CO. Also, if your boyfriend has insurance or is going to be getting insurance in CO find out if you can be added as his "significant other" most companies now allow for "significant others" it protects them from discrimination as far as gays and lesbians go - so you wouldn't have to get married if you weren't ready for that. You'll figure out a schedule for school. Don't worry about that part. I have faith you'll do very well and get your degree right on schedule. I'll talk to you soon.

 

J-lo1629 - April 1

motherof20: Hey it's me again but i only have 2 minutes so i wont be able to talk to you till monday okay. I have to go right now but i will return monday. Bye. Thanks for everything

 

motherof20 - April 1

J-lo when you get this message on Monday please do me a favor and call. It's the Planned Parenthood of San Antonio, TX the number is 210-736-2475 tell them you need to find healthcare - that you're pregnant. They should help you. Does your mom have health insurance? Technically if she does she should be covering you until you graduate from college. Talk to you Monday.

 

mulgajill - April 1

JLo... congratulations.... dont worry too much.... the baby will come one way or the other whether you have insurance or not (one thing we dont have to worry about over here in australia... actually you get paid for having babies.... hospital care free and $3000 maternity allowance after birth to help out with those little extras you need). I didn't go to the doctor until i was 5 months pregnant with the last... not that i am recommending it, but I never thought of myself as "Sick" which is the reason i thought people go to doctors for.... I went for a couple of visits for u/s etc but did read my hospital record the nurse left on the table when i was waiting once ... basically said Bad Patient, Does not attend... anyway baby was nine and a half pound and i was really happy to be in hospital when i had him... ohhhhh... bit of trouble pushing that one out... wouldn't go the home birth route thats for sure... The first baby was a bit easier... there is nothing in the world like sitting up in that hospital bed holding your new baby.... all the doubts, worries etc just vanish..... xx

 

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