Just Venting

6 Replies
Zoie - January 14

i wasnt sure where or who to talk to but i need to express my self. i went for a blood test today and tomorrow i get my results. i am terrified. i know i should be excited since we've been ttc for awhile now, but i'm not. maybe it's the fear of this stupid waiting, or something, but the things that keep going around my head are making me scared. i keep thinking what if i'm not a good parent, or what if i end up with the same horrible relationship with my child that i have with my mother. what if i turn out to be like my mother?! am i over reacting? i feel like i'm the only one. is anyone else feeling this way? please let me know.

 

Peg - January 14

I felt the same way as you do. My whole family is CRAZY. My mother is the worst of them all. My diagnosis of her is she has munchausen by proxy. If you know anything about that, it's not good. I was in and out of the hospital my entire childhood for unexplained heart problems. I have no heart problems, my mother is just crazy. I just knew I would be a horrible mother, just like every other mother in my family. My husband finally convinced me that I am a wonderful person and nothing like my mother. I did have to go to counseling to help me with this. I finally realized that just because my mother is my mother, it does not mean I will be like her. You are not over reacting, it is natural to feel like this. I know these fears will revisit me when my husband and I get pregnant, but I now know how to work through them and you will too. You have already taken a GIANT step. You see that your mom was not a good mother and through that, you will be a great mother. Everyone will make mistakes as parents, that is just natural but you will not make the same mistakes as your mom. You now know better!!!!!! Sorry this was so long winded. GOOD LUCK! Peggy

 

zoie - January 14

i wouldn't worry about anything. you sound like a sound person who has nothing but love to give to a child. just keep the lines of communication open with your partner and things will be okay.

 

izzy - January 14

sorry i ment to put my name not yours zoie.

 

r - January 14

Hi Zoie, I had the same worries when I frist fo9und out that I'm pregnant... I'm still worried but not as much any more. I tell my self not to spend that energy worring because as Peg says mistakes will be made no matter what, but as long as you put your child first and foremost you will be a fine parent. I know 2 women who i look up to as parents and thier advice has always been put your children first - that's the most important thing. It's normal tohave these feelings but try to save the energy for the little one that might be growing inside you.

 

Zoie - January 15

thank you all for you comforting words. it's nice to see i am not alone, but i do feel like it sometimes. my hunny doesnt fully understand what i'm going through, but he trys and i love him for that. thank you again

 

Zoie - January 15

oh and i got my results back. it was a big negative. but for some reason i dont belive my doctor. i am moody, hungry and it seems like the bathroom has become my best friend. i get af on tues so if she shows then who knows why i'm getting these symptoms. thank you agian for all your support. i truly appreciate it.

 

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