Long Distance Relationship And Pregnant

5 Replies
Mother of one, but it's been t - October 21

I recently found out that I was pregnant. My boyfriend is over in Western WA and I'm over here in Eastern Wa. He's really happy, we wanted one, but not right now- I'm planning on moving over there early 2006, but I'm over a month now. I know people do it all the time(away from their loved one), but this would be his first and he's so excited, he doesn't want to miss a thing. I have a son already, so I know what it's like. My ex didn't attend most of my doctor visits with me and I think in todays' society, most men do have to work during an appointment time and I told him this and I think he understands, but it would still be nice to be together for support, foot rubs, shopping, cuddling, etc. things like that. I have had an abortion before (years ago) and I don't ever want to do it again, but I'm considering it for him and our future. I am so confused on what choice to make. We will be together when I'm about 4-5 months along which I think is okay, to me, that's when things really get interesting and noticeable. But either in March, or May 2006, his training gets more intense and he'll be living at the academy M-F of each week for about 5-6 months(by then I'd be over there and he would come home on the wknds, the academy is about 30 min away from where he is right now). So worst case scenario he'd be at the academy while I'm at 6 months along or not until I'm 8 months along, they never let you know in the military. I hope it doesn't start up again until May that way we'd get to spend the really great months together, who knows-Any advice out there?????

 

n - October 21

keep the baby, if u abort, u may just hurt ur relationship with him cause it sounds like he really wants this baby, besides its not just ur choice, u should just talk to him. I am against abortion, but this is ur life and ur boyfriend's life. Talk to him first and see how he feels.

 

Mother of 6 - October 21

Dear Mother of one, I am sad to hear that you are considering abortion as an alternative. I wish people would think about planning a family ( or not) before they get pg. But, here you are. Please don't take that as mean, it wasn't meant to be, it's just a sad fact that's all. If you already had an abortion before and already know the consiquences of that, why on earth would you even consider it again? I hear what you are saying about helping the relationship, but ending your pregnancy isn't going to do that. A man, is given that name by how he reacts to manly things. Stands up and takes responsiblity, not runs away from it. Your child will always be your child, but men, as sad as it is, can come and go. I was married to a military man for 10 years and bore 3 children during that marriage. He was only home for one of them, and wasn't much help at that . Don't romantisize your pregnancy by thinking about what "hollywood" men do for their women during pregnancy, life isn't that way. We get hormonal and they don't always react well to it. If your man is a good man and would rub your feet when you aren't pg, then he will be a good man and rub them when he's home. Be glad he has a job with Benefits for you once you are married. Look, I can't throw any stones, my life isn't picture perfect. No, I haven't ever nor would I ever consider abortion as an alternative. I've been a single mother before and know the trials that involves, but I wouldn't trade, give away, or take away one moment without my children. Your future shouldn't include taking with him shouldn't be filled with ultimatums and promises of if you do this, we will have that later. I pray that you find the peace within yourself that you have been blessed with life. Only a woman can be strong enough to carry a child. Ask yourself why that is. Maybe in that, you will find your answer. God be with you!

 

Amanda - October 21

I posted to you on the other post called dollar store. You need to do what is best for you. Follow your heart and your instincts. They will tell you what you know deep down is right for you.

 

Steph - October 25

Hey mother of 1, where in Eastern Washington are you located? I'm in Spokane.

 

Mother of one, but it's been t - October 31

I am in Spokane also, all my family is pretty much in Spokane. When I do move over to Olympia, I won't know anybody. Now that I am pregnant, I'm having all of these emotions. I felt so secure and happy about the move, now I am kinda freaked out. Nothing else has changed(as far as the love of my boyfriend or my job, etc....) so I pretty much know it's the d__n emotions! Wow do they really do a number on ya-

 

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