Not About TTC Stay At Home Mom Can Anyone Else Relate

10 Replies
izechsmama - February 20

Hey gals.. I'm just a little bit depressed today... I stay home and babysit for a living.. I would have things no other way, most of my friends have moved away to go to college or to live somewhere else and i'm just here... i dont get out much, i have a close friend who also stays home and babysits.. and shes pregnant.. but shes much busier than i am with the kids... I'd like to go out eventually but right now my son is at the peak of his separation anxiety with me and its not a good time... i just feel really depressed some days and today its hitting me hard...its winter here and we cant go outside much... I wish I could make friends but its alot easier said than done..i'm trying to fill the void with friends on here and its kinda working, except when i get left behind for bfps.. which is great! but then i start over again with a new group... well i guess i'm just venting now... can anyone relate to me?

 

DownbutnotOUT - February 20

I can relate, I am a stay at home mom with 3 children and am currently pregnant, well my DH works from home so technically 4 children. Anyway I have my down days where i feel really alone all of my friends live in Alberta as I live in Vancouver. Its hard to make friends when I usually have 3 children hanging off me and I try byvolunteering at my son's school but I end up being too shy. I have filled the void of friends with my family, such as my cousins and it does end up making me feel better but i would still kill to go out with someone other than my husband and grab a nice starbucks and just chit chat. I used to remember how after my m/c i found a great group of supporting women and they all seemed to be getting BFP and it was hard. I still stuck with them and I try to keep in touch with them, even the ones that got there BFP after me or those who are still trying. Its easier to reach out to one group of ladies and stick with them than to move onto a new group. If you ever want to talk im here :)

 

izechsmama - February 20

thanks Downbutnotout.. i really appreciate that.. i try to turn to my family.. but most of them live here and they dont have time for me... unless it involves DS then they have time.... but it gets rough and its good to know i'm not alone... i just cant shake the feeling though... i just dont know what to do to fix this...

 

krissy2006 - February 20

I am in the same boat. Unfortunately not with BFPs or babies. But I lived in California my entire life (21 yrs) and have lived in Washington state for the past yr and 1/2 (or just a yr if you don't count the 6 months I was in Mexico) I left all and any friends I had in CA and they are all unmarried, party freaks. Now I'm married... trying for a family. I am a very shy person in person unless I know my audience well, and I have no friends here. I have my grandma, but she's, well, my grandma. I have my aunt but we have two very distinct personalities, not to mention the way she raises her five year old just bug the hell out of me. I miss having girlfriends to talk about men, girl stuff, chit chat and just have girlie fun... <<sigh>> You don't have to have children to live a sad life without friends... It is also a reason I find so much joy here with you ladies.. :)

 

Laceyandsamsmamma - February 21

oh man I sooo know how you feel. I have 2 children and I stay at home with them they are almost 4 and almost 2. My DD goes to preschool 3 days a week but my DS is at home all the time. I never get out because I have no friends they have either moved away, dont have kids or my best friend died a few years ago after giving birth to her DS. I get soo depressed it has gotten so bad that for like a week all I wanted to do was sleep. My DH declared that I need to get out more but the only family I have here either has young kids and or doesnt babysit. I just got 15 inches of snow and it was so cold we couldnt go out for more than 20 mins. my DS is like yours and hates to be away from me for long unless its with daddy then he is ok but that kinda gets rid of date night unless the stepdaugher (almost 17) can come over if shes not busy with her DBF. I soo wish you lived near me we could start our own little stay at home moms group and have play dates I wish I had some friends around here to do that.

 

izechsmama - February 21

i know.. i wish there we could all get together... i mean i am very grateful to be home, it took alot to get me here including working 9 months of night shifts when my son was very small..but being home does kind of get very routine... i just wish i had more to keep me busy.. at least if i was preggo i would have something to focus on.... but until that happens i'm just here.... i also can only leave my DS with daddy and like you said that leaves date night out! i just dont know what to do...

 

kerilynh - February 21

I am a stay at home mom with almost 16 month old twins. I feel like this is my only lifeline. I dont' get out. My friends either have a life (with older children) or are single and can come and go as they please. I can't get out much, we only have one vehicle and DH needs that to go to work. IT is too much for me to wake the kids to take him to work and get them in and out of the car (in the freezing cold no less) by myself. By the time DH gets home I am so exhausted to do anything, including going out. We can't afford Daycare for twins, so I am out of work, Even if I work, all the money would go to someone to raise my kids instead of me. So, that is why I am home. :-(

 

Laceyandsamsmamma - February 21

I so know what youu mean kerilyn I use to work when my grandma would babysit my daughter for 100 a month cuz it was cheap and I trusted her but when I had my son she said she was too old be babysitting and daycare was too expensive at that point for me to go back to work or school soo ladee daa I am stuck at home. I live in Illinois does anyone live near me?

 

Megs - February 21

Unfortunately, I can relate but in a different way. I am a nanny so I see a lot of the kids. Whom I do love and adore BTW. but with friends and finding good ones, it's SO hard! I had a really close knit group of friends and I was the first to get married. Oh, let m tell you the c___p I got from that! 11 months later, another of the girls got married. We now, obviously, have a lot in common now. It was hard forgiving her after all the hard time I was given and hurtful things said. Well, they moved an hour away so not a whole lot there. Another of our little group moved completely out of state, actually a few states away. The other two moved away to college about an hour away... So, I'm the only one sitting here still in our hometown. :-( And since getting married it's been dificult to make friends. If I connect with someone, Dh doesn't, or vice versa. We want friends that we can do LIFE with! We could go away on vacation with and so forth... And on top of it all, with both of us working full time and going to school it's been difficult putting "friends" into our schedules. So glad that is starting to come to an end! It almost feels like, if we did already have a baby we would fit in a lot more places. People look at us being married for 3 1/2 years and question why we don't have kids yet and isolate us. So weird! I would suggest going to meetup.com. It's a great website I have recently discovered that offers all types of groups in different areas. Maybe you can find other SAHM who are looking for play groups or something. What about going to various free activities help within the community? Our library has readings for the different age groups. I went when I was a kid and loved it. I have also noticed a bunch of moms go to like Chick-fil-a and meet up and chit-chat while their kids play. It's so hard to hear about people you care about hurting... :-( Sorry ladies! Really, check out meetup.com. :-)

 

LN030905 - February 21

Hey izechsmama! You should come over to the New Day thread! Its been the same group of girls for over a year now! We all stay on there, even if we've gotten our bfps! Its a great group of girls and Im so happy to call them my friends! You are so welcome anytime!! :)

 

LN030905 - February 21

Not just izechsmama, of course..all you ladies are welcome :)

 

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