Sad Sad Very Sad

18 Replies
sad girl - March 2

I so want a 3rd baby now and hubby does not want one now,i'm 27& he's 36.I'm frustrated , angry , disappointed and very sad.How can i convince hubby to have another one now ? He tells me things in order to have one now and then changes his mind when i agree.I'm hurt !

 

chriss - March 2

Sad Girl, I'm sorry, but this may not be be what you want to hear. If hubby isn't ready for a 3rd yet, then maybe you should respect that (for now) if you convince/push him into it, he may end up resenting you for it and that could be really hard on the relationship. Just a thought!!

 

Mythili - March 2

Chriss, is right. A child should be brought into the world with both parents consent.

 

To chriss - March 2

Thx , i know it's true, but it goes the other way round as well. Either way ...it sucks ! Thx for ur input though.

 

Sad girl - March 2

I know ur both right , but the thing is we talked about it before and agrees on certain condition and i agreed but changes his mind each time,it's not as if im pushing him into it.We talked about it before, but now out of the sudden it is not the right time anymore.this is where lies my frustration and my sadness......

 

Audrey - March 2

Sad girl- Your husband might not want a third child for some reason, and is giving you the runaround because he doesn't want to tell you straight. Can you financially support a third child? That might be another thing. Try keeping a lid on it for a day or two to let him have a chance to think about it, then talk to him again and get a straight answer. Best wishes!

 

Sad girl - March 2

Yep, it makes sense.Well i guess i'll have to stop thinking about it for a yr or two ,at least hubby will be happy.Thx again.

 

erin - March 2

sad girl, i dealt with the same thing. i want my first one so bad!!! my husband would say ok, then change his mind. This went on for mths. I let it go for awhile and now we have been trying for a few months. Just be patient!!

 

chriss - March 3

Sad girl, please don't think of this in terms of you sacrificing something that you really want so that your husband will be happy. You may end up resenting him for this. Think of it as, you are giving him a bit of time to adjust to the idea of having a 3rd child and in the meantime you have two other beautiful children that you can devote your time/attention and love to. Best of luck to you and I'm sure things will work out in the end.

 

heidi - March 3

I was in your shoes 2 years ago. We had an unexpected 3rd pregnacy that we both were accetping lovingly. Then I misscarried. I a__sumed we would try again...wrong. So, after much discussion, sometimes arguing, and counseling we have finally agreed to try. I had finally given up and he says Go FOR IT! So, we are currently ttc #3! So, there is hope. You are young enough you can wait a bit. My husband is 45 and I am 35, so I need to do this now or never. So, give it time. I did resent mine for a long time. Get some counseling if you need to. We finally got to the reasons we both felt the way we did and he decided that his reasons were unfounded, so here we are! I hope you find yourself in the same situation soon!!!

 

Sad girl - March 3

Thank you all ladies .I appreciate ur comments.My girl is 9 in a few mths and my son is 5 in a few mths as well.I don't think it's good to be 12 yrs apart.He is such a planner ,wants to wait 2-3 yrs. My sis is 10 yrs younger than me and we have nothing in commun.He says let's do this 1st , let's buy that first, this and that and this and that....It will take 5 yrsfor him to be ready , he'll changfe his mind again in 2 yrs! I guess i'll be patient with him like u all suggested, but it sucks.... P.S: Heidi , i know i'm still young and so are u really , but he knows well that i want to nurse while i'm young at ur age ,i'll be doing other stuffs.Congrats on ur TTC ( i don't know if it is how it's said .)Thx again.

 

mulgajill - March 3

Really it is YOUR decision....you have to carry the baby.... and though i wanted mine spaced out that was MY preference.... though by the spacing i may now be too old to have no.3... my man has the "stubborn streak".... wont even do something HE wants to do if he thinks i am pushing him into it.... so have to use lateral thinking.... go gentle... you say he sometimes agrees to the idea... next time you get an 'agreement' dont bring up the subject again... until you have the positive preg test..... well that is what i would do anyway... and from the way things seem to go for us gals, it may take 2-3 years to concieve anyway! Good luck sad girl..... and the last comment.... 'hubby will be happy'... they're never bloody happy!!! lol :-)

 

To Mulgajill - March 3

Hey ! I agree with u when u say i'l carry the baby ,and b/w u & me , I do all the work when it comes to parenthood so i don't know what he's afraid of ! What do u mean ur too old for #3 ? Maybe not , i don't know how old u are but my sis in law is expecting B#2 @ 37 yo.And yeah i know , ur right, it take us gals forever to conceive , & they're never happy. MEN......

 

To Mulgajill - March 3

Also good luck to u too !

 

mulgajill - March 3

well, i am 43... have a 9yo daughter, 5yo son, i never thought to "ask my partner's consent"... in fact i didn't tell him with my son until i was five months pregnant (after 2 miscarriages was too scared to tell anyone), and yes he was happy when i showed him the ultrasound video... a bit confused at the time trying to figure out what he was watching!!!.... time flies by... and as you get older the chances of miscarriage increases

 

To mulgajill - March 4

How did u manage to hide ur pregancy from ur partner for so long ? didn't he ever asked questions ? I think he would resnt me big time, if i didn't ask his consent . Chriss, i'm pretty sure my partner would be happy once he holds the baby int he arms, but it's just the go ahead from him im waiting for.He is such a planner in 2 yrs time it will be a different reason ,he'll want to wait another 3 yrs.I know him ! Heidi, hubby will never agree on councelling, that's for the "freaks " .I told him we should , but we're not "freaks " according to him. Thx for the advice though, i know it would help us a lot !

 

mulgajill - March 5

Hiding pregnancy was not so hard.... we didn't have the greatest relationship... i am tallish and didn't really show much in either of my two pregnancies until after 6mths... anyway he was thrilled when he found out (only had 4mths to wait!) and though we are not together now he is a good dad and lives only a short distance away and spends lots of time with the kids.... i didn't tell my mum i was pregnant the first time til i was 8mths.... funny... the two pregnancies where i didn't tell anyone much (did tell partner about first straight off) went by without a hitch... the three i have told people about early all ended in m/c..... mmmm.... if i am lucky this week think i "will be keeping mum" about it....

 

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