Viv From E

22 Replies
E - November 11

Hi Viv, I just do not get it. Yesterday I stated that I thought you gave good advice to women on this forum, regardless of the fact that you are a man. What I am baffled about is how you can possibly tell women on this forum that you, A MALE, think they are "almost certainly pregnant" based on an abnormal 3-day period and some bloating and sickness. This is not the first time you have done this. I don't understand and I am asking you to explain, if you care to, how you come to this conclusion based on a single paragraph about their cycle. I am starting to think you have no clue what you are talking about and you are using books and websites to guide you when some experience with, let's say a PERIOD, would be really helpful. I am annoyed by it and finally feel like asking you, plain and simply to explain your position as I think that what you are saying to some of the women is ridiculous and wrong. There is plenty of advice that you can give if you want to use books as your source of experience but I am sorry to say, your knowledge on this site is more limited than you think. I realize that you are a nice person and want to help but where do you draw the line to the advice you give? As a woman, even I would not dare tell another woman "she is almost certainly pregnant" unless she had a positive test.

 

Grandpa Viv - November 11

The joy of a forum is that it permits a diversity of opinion. When you disagree with one of my posts, the appropriate course of action on your part is to post a contrary opinion. The resulting debate is informative to the questioner and to other readers. My mind set when answering questions is that "Take a test" is not what the questioner wants to hear. They know that already. They are here because they want to share their excitement / fears and get a feel for the chances a few days ahead ot the test. In three months of answering questions, I have yet to have a woman come back and complain that I have sorely misled her. Quit being so angry, E. Make it fun! I'm going to start posting as Grandpa Viv so that people know that I have no idea what I am talking about.

 

E - November 11

Viv - I am not angry, I am annoyed and yes, hormonal. So you admit that you tell them what they want to hear even though it is probably not the correct information or advice? I think the women who are asking about something as serious as pregnancy would appreciate accurate advice, not some gypsy forecast. I am glad this forum is all fun for you but some of the women are confused, upset, and hormonal and I think you might take their situation a bit more seriously to get your facts straight. Also, just b/c women don't post back to say you were wrong about diagnosing them of their pregnancy, does not mean you have been right all along.

 

E - November 11

Look, the bottom line is if you didn't flat out tell women they are pregnant or act like you know what early pregnancy feels like, I would not have posted this. I don't see why you have to take it so far to have fun on the forum. You once asked me to stop addressing you when I counterpost to your advice so I started this thread soley for you. I got sick of posting on each thread that you told women they are prego on.

 

Queen B - November 11

I's sorry to bud in but I have to agree too. Don't jump on... I do appreciate the help and contribution u have here val but you can't just tell these ladies what they WANT to hear. This ride is a roller coaster for most of these ladies and then you are getting their hopes up that they are "almost certainly pregnant". The pain a woman feels when they are convinced that they are almost certainly pregnant and then they get their period is a horrible feeling... like winning the lotto then having it taken away from them. I have been there. I am not trying to fight - I am just giving my opinion. :o)

 

E - November 11

It's fine to post an opinion about this. I am not here to fight with Viv of all people. I feel strongly about this particular issue and had to say something b/c what Viv is saying to some women is wrong. I think people have been too meek to say anything to Viv b/c he is so nice & they don't want his admirers to stomp on them. Yes, Viv, you have many admirers.

 

m - November 11

Also an opinion, but I, too, have noticed some things (even when I thought Viv was a woman) that seemed like too much of a "definitive" answer. It's nice of you to look things up, and relay the information, but there are certain things that no amount of internet research can tell anyone who hasn't been through it. I also have my own question: you said you use "Viv" because it is gender neutral. Doesn't that seem a bit misleading? Looks like you would want to use your first name, as you referred to, so it would be obvious that you are a man. And while Viv may technically be gender neutral, for the most part, people think of that as short for Vivian, which sounds female... making me wonder if you'd rather us not be the wiser. yes, I know you admit you are a man, but only when questioned. I, for one, feel a little different now, and wish I would have known all along that I was reading posts from someone who has never been through, and will never go through what all of these women are experiencing. Again, just my opinion.

 

m - November 11

ps - Just wondering how old you are and if you have a wife who you have watched go through any of the things discussed on this board? Yes, I'm being nosy. I admit it. And you certainly can tell me it's none of my business without me taking offense! Nosy by nature, that's me! ;o)

 

Grandpa Viv - November 11

E, are you an attorney in real life? You twist my words! Where did I say I tell "what they want to hear even though it is probably not the correct information or advice." I tell what they came to hear insofar as giving them my best estimate of their chances, given the information provided. I do not even interject (very often) the caveat that a significant number of these early pregnancies turn out to be "chemical" in that they do not last past the first month or so - perhaps I should. I asked you to make the forum fun. I did not say I was doing this as a lark or not in a serious way. I helped get started and spent 10 years on the board of an organization that provides home visiting to vulnerable children. I participated in the Washington March for Women's lives last April. I am active in reproductive issues in my community. Vivian happens to be my middle name, but I could as well have gone with e, m, or Z. We'll see what happens to Grandpa Viv. I'm sure people will be less prone to take my words seriously. If you want to visit my personal page it is at http://users.adelphia.net/~graveslane .... I would like you also to visit http://www.ppowb.org/thanks.htm ... Here's a last thought - when I came across this forum months ago the responses were most often asinine or insulting or plain wrong. I am proud of the fact that the forum has become a serious venue, thanks to the time that you and others devote to it. Let's keep up the good work!

 

m - November 11

So are you Hervey Howell? Is Maceo close to E'town?

 

E - November 11

Sorry for twisting your words. My opinion still stands that you are prematurely and unwisely diagnosing pregnancy in women on this forum. Your work in the community can not serve as a subst_tute for the experience you lack in some important areas of womanhood. No amount of reading or volunteering justifies you telling women they are most certainly pregnant.

 

E - November 11

LMAO. Who is Hervey Howell???

 

E - November 11

m - you crack me up!

 

m - November 11

Now I'm laughing too. I guess it does sound kindof funny for me to just ask that. I got curious and went to that home page and it's kindof vague. I didn't read it all, but I didn't see any mention of "Viv", so I wondered if he was that Hervey Howell person. That's the only name I could see that might be his. It's funny how you don't realize something sounds funny until someone else laughs. lol :o)

 

- - November 11

Hervey is the cute white haired man sitting by the bridge in the photo gallery!

 

E - November 11

I will check his page later. I am off to work. It sounded so funny and I had no clue where you got that name. See ya:)

 

m - November 11

Found him, and also on the big rock overlooking the Hudson Valley. So, is that you Viv?

 

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