Why Am I Baby Crazy

14 Replies
BabyBlues - May 2

First of all, I am almost 21 years old (this summer) and about to graduate from college this semseter. I have been with my boyfriend for almost four years now and have lived with him for 3. Is it natural to want a baby so bad being so young?? because even though I am on birthcontrol I secretly hope that I turn out pregnant every month...and of course I get my period but I am dissappointed. (Don't get me wrong, I am NOT secretly trying to get pregnant)...I feel like that is what I am suppost to be doing with my life right now. My boyfriend says that if I want a baby to go ahead and stop taking my birthcontrol pills but I can't because I know how many people I would dissappoint...My mother and grandmother have dreams of me becoming rich and not having children until my late 20's, and I feel like they wouldn't support my decision at all to have a baby. I am not looking on advice to make this feeling go away or reasons why I should wait. Instead I would like to know if this is a normal feeling to have at my age??? I just get this feeling that later on down the road I might regret not doing what I really wanted to do because of other people's feelings.

 

Jena - May 2

I think it's a normal feeling - maybe because you are graduating you feel like it's one of your next "steps" in life... especially since you have been living with your bf for so long. I'm glad you aren't secretly trying and have talked to your bf about it :) - but there really never is a "right time" to get pregnant - if you still feel this way in 6 months maybe you are ready... and you can't ALWAYS impress your parents :)

 

BabyBlues - May 2

Thank you so much Jena for responding. You have made me feel much better. My boyfriend thinks, as well, that I possibly am feeling this way because I am graduating. I have tried talking with my mom about it but whenever I try it never seems to come out.

 

Daisy Jean - May 3

I think it just means that you will know what a gift it is when it really happens. I've always been baby crazy too. We are going to try next Spring, but I can hardly wait. I think your instincts are just really strong. You just know you want to be a mom. For me, it has just always been part of who I am.

 

kat - May 3

its your life,and if your boyfriend supports you in having a baby then go for it,at least you would have graduated and can go onto your career later on,if you spend your life trying to please other people then you probably never will do what you want to do.good luck.

 

Rose (Aus) - May 3

To babyblues, I agree with Jenna, it could be that you subconsciously feel this is the next step in your life - particularly since you have been in a rlshp for long time. There is no right or wrong time - as long as it is both what you want. As for having these feelings, I am now 26, but had those feelings when I was only 14 . That lasted for four years (I never acted on it as I was too young), but by the time I left school, I had become career orientated again. This baby craze started again, when I met my husband and continued until we had our first baby. It disappeard then again and finally returned with vengence January this year. I guess what I am saying is that the mother instinct 'kicks in' at different times for different reasons. Good luck with this decision, but dont make your decision on what othe people want - do what feels right for the both of you......

 

BabyBlues - May 3

Wow...I can't believe the support that all of you wonderful ladies have given me. I am still confused, but at least I now know that it is normal to have these feelings.

 

LI - May 3

I never went through what you are going through until I was married and in my late 20's. I guess I knew I had too much I wanted to do before taking such a gigantic step. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mom now but I am really glad I waited to start a family. I had a great job for many years, traveled w/ friends, and just lived! : ) Great luck to you in whatever you decide.

 

el - May 3

babyblues, I know how you feel! I'm 22 and have been with my bf for 6 years, and I want to have a baby SO bad. I was on birth control the whole 6 years, I just finally went off of it last month...I always secretely hoped I'd turn up pregnant too, but I also wasn't secretly trying. I too feel like this is what I should be doing with my life right now...I have felt this way for about 2 years, but just in the last year it has gotten a lot worse. Finally my boyfriend told me to just go off the pill, and we aren't "trying" but we're not preventing it either, so we're just going to see what happens. We thought about this for about 5 months before I actually went off, because I was very upset that our families wouldn't be happy if we got pg, simply because we aren't married. We plan to get married one day, but we aren't engaged yet(we had thought about eloping in July, but decided we should wait til next year when we have more time to plan it, as we were planning on going out of state to do so). Anyway, my mother has told me repeatedly that she doesn't want me to be an unwed mother. My grandma always reminds me that my aunt(her favorite) was pg before they got married, but she always ads in that they had a small ceremony and got married while she was pg. As far as his family goes, they would just have a heart attack and think it was the end of the world.(nice huh) My bf keeps telling me not to care what our families think, that this is our lives and we know what we want and what is best for us, but that's hard you know?? Anyway I don't think age has anything to do with it, it's a personal decision and you'll know when you are ready. I too feel like if I wait another couple years until we are married, I may regret it...who knows if we will have a rough time getting pg, and it will maybe take years?? And I don't want to wait years, I want to be pg now! Anyway I hope this made some sense, all I can tell you is I understand how you feel and it is really nice to hear that somebody else is feeling the same way!!

 

jules - May 3

babyblues, im in the same boat...im just turned 20 and my fiance and i gave it a try ttc. i understand when you say dissappointment. my parents want me to finish school before i think about have kids. get financially set and get my education. (which i all understand) but when my fiance and i talked about it he made me think. he told me that i would be a excellent mother and having a child all would do would slow some dreams up a liittle. ive alwayed lived my life with trying to please my parents and family. ive decided im going to live my life and go with the flow. if i were to be pregnant, i wouldnt not want to finish school and i would still want to do my drems. so my advice is to live your own life and make educated descisions and you should just be fine!!! good luck

 

BabyBlues - May 3

El-Thats funny : ) Me and my BF have thought about eloping this July as well. Your situation is so similar to mine that I am amazed. Jules- I agree that having a baby will make it harder for your dreams to come true, but not impossible, just harder. Maybe I as well should think about pleasing myself as I have always tried to please others. Thanks again for all the responses. I needed someone to talk to about all of this. Thanks for being there.

 

Tieraney - May 3

I agree that you are WAY too young in my opinion. There is so much to do and see before you have a child-- and what is the rush?

 

el - May 3

btw, congrats on graduating from college soon! I wanted to add on the eloping thing, if we did elope, his family would have a fit about that too..they would be very upset they weren't involved in the engagement, and that we didn't have a wedding, and all that stuff that I would rather just aviod. I love them dearly but they have very different views on how things should be done! I just think no matter what we do they are not going to be happy...so we are just doing what we want and they will get over it eventually.

 

BabyBlues - May 3

Oh yeah, el and jules- good luck on ttc; How exciting!

 

i need a miracle - May 3

i think we all go through this sort of thing, some of us earlier then others and some of us later, i think its our motherly instincts. hmm women are so much more interesting then men haha

 

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