18 Alone And Pregnant With Triplets

12 Replies
emz_88 - June 28

I am 18 years old and found out 3 weeks ago that i am pregnant, i spoke to my boyfriend about it and we decided to keep the baby even though it was unplaned. I then split up with my partner a week later as he felt he was not ready for the responsability of becoming a father and he no longer wants anything to do with the baby and told me to have an abortion. I spoke to the doctor regarding this, and last week i went for a termination, as they gave me a internal ultrasound to check how far on i was they broke the news that i was 11 weeks pregnant with triplets. As i had found this out i felt i could not go ahead with the termanation as i felt if i done it then i would never forgive myself. The hospital gave me four options to keep all 3 babies, to terminate 1(The single baby), to terminate 2 (The set of twins) or terminate all 3. so i have sat and had a big long think about life and what to do now. I informed my ex of the situation and my decision to keep all 3 babies but his att_tude was the same as it was when we split up. I have decided to have my 3 babies, and bring them up as best as i can, as my ex wants nothing to do with them my parents are going to help me as much as possible. I just hope i can be a good mother to my children. As i have never seen him since he walked out 3 weeks ago, and i know he wont support me. Has anyone got any tips on how to cope with triplets?? especialy on your own??

 

crystaldawn - June 28

I'm very proud of you for making that decision. I can tell you that several companies give away free stuff to mothers of triplets. We're talking about baby clothes,diapers(which i would start buying now...),formula.There's a book at Books a Million called "free stuff for your baby",it's in the pregnancy/childcare section and it has everything you need to know in it. It's not gimmicky,it's all true. So far I've received diapers and formula and a b___t load of coupons...which i would also start saving. $2 here $1 there really adds up!Also,i don't know your situation but you could probably get on housing(do it asap b/c they have a waiting list),medicaid,food stamps,wic and if you do that then you will be forced to cooperate with the office of child support enforcement and they will go after the dad and likely garnish his child support from his paychecks. Especially with triplets! they take this very seriously and he WILL go to jail if he doesn't pay.But definitely look into housing b/c i realized that i couldn't possibly do this without getting it. You will never have to pay more than 30% of your income on rent and utilities. Then after your children are born you can qualify for vouchers for daycare(which i think is the most expensive part of having a child) and not have to pay for that,AND you can get a single parent scholarship and go back to school and they give you money to pay your bills so you don't have to work more than part time.I'm sorry if you already know all that stuff! i tend to be a blabbermouth.

 

mischelly30 - June 28

I second the child support statement. Even if he doesn't have a job, the courts will make him financially responsible for the babies, at least to some extent. You need all the financial help you can get!!

 

samaya - June 30

Please, please please DON'T have an abortion. You are strong, young, intelligent and have supportive parents. You can handle your triplets although now you must be overwhelmed and scared. Please let them all live! How would you look at your son or daughter knowing their brother or sister got killed while they were saved. You can't kill one or two and let the rest live. 11 weeks is a when the child is formed and you would abort a real little human being that wants to live and is your kid. I want to help you to go through this, I'm a single mom also contemplating abortion at some point. Now I have my sweet 1.5 year old boy and even a thought that I almost killed him makes me brake into tears. Your bf is very undecisive, he is not ready to be a daddy. Maybe he will grow up one day, if not you WILL find a loving husband and father to all your 3 children. Lots of love and courage. [email protected]

 

funblonde - July 10

aww u poor grl i hope everything works out and i respect u alot for yoru decision to keep them, u can do it

 

emz_88 - July 11

Thankyou for all your support, it is much appreciated. I am now 13 weeks and had a little scare last week and ended up in hospital. But everything is going to be ok. As for abortion i have now rulled that out and i am keeping all three of my babies. I already look huge and can no longer hide it... As for my ex i want nothing to do with him and it will continue to be like that, he does not deserve to be ca dad. but thankyou again for all your advice and i will keep in touch. Emma x

 

ash2 - July 11

emz , please dont get me wrong. but why would having 2 more babies change your mind from killing one ? every baby is precious even if its one or three. im just kind of thrown back that you would think that " more is better". all i can say is i am happy for that "one" baby that could have been the only one, because if it werent for his other siblings , he would have been dead! im sorry but the thought never should have crossed your mind.

 

Britney23 - July 11

I don't think the above post is fair. you probably were never single and pregnant with triplets at 18. I wasn't, but I can still imagine how it could be overwhelming enough to consider an abortion. And yet, she still had the courage to not get any babies terminated when she found out it was triplets-an even more difficult situation! What she was going to do is not relevant anymore in light that before it was done, she made a truely courageous decision. you go girl! I truely admire you!

 

emz_88 - July 11

thankyou britney, for your support.

 

ash2 - July 11

all im saying is that you were actually going to get the abortion werent you ? when you thought that it was just one? think about if you knew it was triplets, and still went to get the abortion, and found out it was just one, would you have felt the same? i dont understand why the " amount of babies you would have would change your mind to keep them. a baby is a baby........... and to brittney, no i havent been single and pregnant, but that should have nothing to do with wanting to keep your babies . you should want to keep them anyway. as you can see , i am against abortion , and i simply would hate to think what my children would have thought if i once wanted to KILL them.

 

Britney23 - July 12

I am part of a religion were abortion is absolutely forbidden unless the baby threatens the mothers life, physically or mentally. I am also very anti abortion, but that doesn't mean that i can't understand how a difficult situation like this can cause someone to contemplate it. Like I said, If a person was going to make a wrong decision, and turned around and made a right one, why bash them for what they were going to do? Its a case that warrants saying "Im proud of you, you were in a tough place but you did whats right" Not, how could you have even considered it. You should learn the saying "don't judge a person until you've been in his shoes". Even with all your convictions, you would have no way of nowing how you would react if you were in that situation.To me, the fact that when she decided to keep them was when she found out they were triplets was the amazing thing. many women would have considered keeping one would have aborted if they found out it was 3, not the opposite. My cousin has triplets, and its not easy, even with a husband and help. And yes, a baby is a baby-trust me, i just saw my little one bouncing around in my uterus, but just try to honestly place yourself in her shoes before you judge. the fact that its one or two or 3 is just not what you should be picking on now. the girl made the right decision in the end and needs and deserves our support.

 

emz_88 - July 13

Hi ash2, it took me to go to the hospital to have the abortion done, At the time i thought it was the right thing to do for the baby. I also think that once i had saw my 3 babies i could not go through with it.. It is not a case of more is better. Because now i am trying to work out how i am going to support them all. But as you have never been single and pregnant then i do not expect u to understand.... Thankyou again britney. x

 

sonotec75 - July 13

Em...I'm glad u backed out of the ab. I know of a lot of girls that has done that. I, myself, am pro-life. I was a single parent with my DS and it was very difficult but I made it. I had to live with my parents for over a year so that I could finish school and then work to support my DS. I know that you will make it. Don't be ashamed to get govt a__st. There is nothing wrong with it. Good luck and God Bless you and your litle ones.

 

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