22 Weeks Pregnant And Do Not Know Where I Stand

3 Replies
Kanga - March 19

Hi all, I usually avoid forums like this, but I have gotten to a point where an outsiders advice is needed, and would appreciate any feedback. Last year I moved to a different city to live with somebody I had known for just over a year. We lived together for about 9 months, and I fell deeply in love with this man. Towards the end of my time there, however, differences in our beliefs and att_tudes towards life started to become apparent, and we were on our way down different paths (we were planning on moving into separate places, as I had much love for my new town). This, of course, was the time I realized that I was pregnant. I told him the same day that I found out. Since then I have moved back to my original city to be near my family, as it became very clear that he was not equipped to handle this situation with me. In fact, in the beginning he indicated abortion as a solution, and this showed me just how scared he was, as such a suggestion was quite out of his character. The first few months were EXTREMELY up and down, as we were far away from one another, and many misunderstandings followed. He was very clear about the fact that he was avoiding the issue and was living in a state of denial. I suppose he was even abusive towards me, to an extent. Finally, about a month ago, it seemed as though he had thought about things and had had a change of heart. He paid for me to go visit him and sort things out. I went down 2 weeks ago, and I felt the trip was relatively successful. During the time I was there he acknowledged the presence of the child and we chatted about names, etc. We also rekindled the romance that both of us had missed. Now I have been back with my family for over a week and I have had contact from him MAYBE three times. Does anyone have any advice or know of any reasons why he would be so silent now, after it felt as though we had sorted so much (including our relationship) out ? It feels as though he has gone into a whole new phase of avoidance ! I am feeling like such a big part of this whole thing is missing, and I cannot just enjoy my pregnancy. Please help.

 

Kanga - March 19

Okay, so since this morning I have received a mail from the father. He tells me that he is here for me and our baby, but he basically cannot commit to giving our relationship a label at this point. How do I react to this ?

 

Grandpa Viv - March 23

A common set of beliefs and values is a necessary basis for a long term relationship, and this may be missing. I suggest you keep the relationship open by encouraging him to participate in the birth without trying to label things. The birth and the baby may bring you closer to each other, and you may discover your differences are not as great as you thought.

 

pregnant_single - August 13

If you are single and pregnant, you don't have to be! Check out my profile for Facebook page information on finding a man that will love and adore you during and after your pregnancy, or search 'pregnant and single' in Facebook. I have even established a Yahoo group called 'PREGNANTNSINGLENLA' to put single pregnant women together with men who possess a strong s_xual fetish for pregnant woman. So, if you're still pregnant and single, that is purely your choice as you don't have to be.

 

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