8 Months And No Word Does He Have Any Rights To My Son

10 Replies
rainsunshine2007 - January 30

i have a difficult situation my ex and i broke up and with 2 ways trying to prevent it we got pregnant in last couple months of relationship he got involved heavily in to drugs and i left him because it was apparent he will not quit them even to keep the baby safe i got married and we have a great healthy family now my baby is 8 months my ex didn't contact me till now trying to add me as a friend online does he have any rights to my son 8 months of not caring about him?


iona - January 30

Wow, so you are already married to someone different...? Or did I misunderstand...? Anyway of course the bio father has legal right to his child. So he went thru a bad phase, maybe (hopefully!) he has straightened out and wants to be part of his son's life...if so that would be great! Try to understand addiction and it is NOT that your ex didn't care about his son, the drug and addiction is overpowering. I have had many close friends and even my brother who went thru a very bad phase of addiction and lost sight of their children. Well one totally cleaned up, regained custody and is a great mom. The other stories are not so great. Good luck!


rainsunshine2007 - January 30

no he hasn't straightened out at all worse he started to sell it as well and doing some heavy drugs more and has a parole officer cause he got caught and a friend tells me he still does drugs but uses different ways to cheat the tests so he doesnt have to stop his mom lets him do all of that and he doesn't have a job he needs one so the parol officer doesn't suspect his selling drugs and that only reason for a job at 23 yes i got married to my first boyfriend we always remained friends and he helped a lot when i was going though this difficult time he loves our son and care and takes care of him i don't want my ex or any part of him involved his dirty money, and druggie friends, and drug using mother as well, their house gets mugged a lot so it's not safe because they bring "business" there and cant reported due to many drugs in house i don't want him near my child i gave him 3 months he told me he refuses to change i moved on and i want him out of our lives than you sooo much for help


gummibear - January 31

"does he have any rights" maybe. i advise you to speak to a lawyer in your state. in some states a woman's husband is presumptively the father. in at least one case (forget which state) the court denied paternal rights to the bio father in favor of the husband. she was married, had an affair, and made up with hubby, its not your case, since you married after, not before. but its not always 100% that bio dads have rights. if he's that bad, you might as well get the good advice of a lawyer to prep yourself. if you make it difficult for him, force a paternity suit, he may not press his rights. and the longer he waits, the harder it will be on him. you may want to consider your husband adopting your son if the ex's paternity has already been established. cheers.


gummibear - January 31

(adoption terminates your ex's rights, if he has any to begin with)


jenna32 - February 17

i don't think he currently has rights for visitation if he isn't on the birth certificate. Try to get your husband to adopt your son.


newbaby2009 - February 17

As of now no he doesnt legally have any rights until he files for them. And then he'll only get them if he pays child support.


concerned00 - February 19

mothers and fathers have equal rights to their child whether they have been there 18 years or 18 minutes. just because he isnt on the birth certificate doesnt mean he cant see or have anything to do with the child. if he pet_tions for a dna test and it comes back the child is his, then he will have rights and they will put his name on the birth certificate. also, child support has nothing to do with visitation, that is made clear in every state and by the state attorney general for each state. just because the father doesnt pay child support does not mean you can keep his child from him, and believe me this is the only matter that the police will intervene on, if he has a court order allowing him visitation, they will make you turn the child over to him at his designated time whether he has paid child support or not. i know this from experience, my ex showed up after 3 years with no warning and never paid child support and still got our child during his normal summer visitation and yes the police enforced the order. they will NOT however enforce child support orders. now his behaviour and drug use is another matter and could help you get at least supervised visits if he does end up trying to see that child. talk to an attorney, you will get much better answers with better specifics for your state and particular case. looking for answers from other girls online will only get you their opinions, which in many cases are wrong, case in point all the girls that have answered so far, your best bet is to talk to a lawyer.


gummibear - February 19

i stand by what i previously wrote. it is more than merely an 'opinion'. concerned00 is incorrect in saying: "mothers and fathers have equal rights to their child whether they have been there 18 years or 18 minutes." if so, the current fathers' rights movement would not be moving, so to speak. for example, the national fathers' resource center states under 'establishing paternity' "A man is presumed to be the legal father of a child if he was married to the mother at the time of the birth of the child. Unless paternity is established, a child born to an unwed mother has no legal father." see fathers4kids dot com. it goes on to discuss methods to establish paternity under texas law. for another, more 'official' example, the Utah Child Support Services website states under "what is paternity" "When a married woman gives birth, her husband is presumed to be the father of the child. When a child is born outside of marriage, the father of the child does not automatically have the same rights and responsibilities as the father of a child born in marriage. and in Kentucky, "a divided Kentucky Supreme Court told Rhoades that he could not press his paternity claim, no matter what evidence of fatherhood he might have, because J.N.R. was, and remains, a married woman... Unable to present proof of his paternity, he won't be able to seek custody or visitation rights." Rhoades had DNA testing that proved he was the biological father. The KY Supreme Court said 'so what?' The idea is to protect the family against 'strangers to the marriage'. See "Despite DNA, Dad's Paternity Denied", Time Magazine, Michael Lindenberger, April 29, 2008. ultimately, an unmarried man does not have legal rights to a child unless and until paternity has been legally established. people confuse 'legally' and 'morally'. concerned00's statement above falls under 'morally', not 'legally'. concerned00 does not mention what state her personal experience falls under. family law is a state issue and varies per state. concerned00 is correct, however, that child support and visitation are separate issues. but he cannot obtain the right to visit without obtaining the obligation to pay - the two go hand in hand (privilege & responsibility). i believe this is what newbaby2009 meant. both are established when establishing paternity. how much to pay and whether he does pay are separate issues altogether. also, be aware that states treat the name on the birth certificate differently as far as establishing paternity. rainsunshine2007, i again advise you to speak to an attorney. key to your situation is whether the ex's paternity has legally been established (did he sign anything, did you put him on the birth certificate, etc) and when you married. good luck.


jenna32 - February 21

i believe gummi is right, she just took the time to type it all out,lol. Until proven he doesn't have rights.


concerned00 - February 21

so if you read what i wrote i said that if he pet_tions for a dna test and it comes back the child is his, he has rights. so no i was not speaking morally. he would then be put on the birth certificate and they would need to legally establish visitation, if they didnt and he decided to take the baby, say for a visit and then not bring him back, she would have no legal recourse as neither one of them has custody. just because you are the mother does not give you "custody" of your child. tho i will say this is how it used to be and some states are and have changed this law stating that unwed mothers a__sume full custody of their child. again it depends on where you are. basically what i said was if he wants to go through the legal networks to try and see his son he can and has a right to. and yes he can obtain visitation and then just not pay his child support, so that statement was incorrect also. my ex does not pay his court ordered child support, quits his job everytime the attorney general finds him and starts garnishing his wages and still is able to take our child anytime he so chooses to show up during his scheduled visitation. basically i stand by what i say also...get a lawyer and speak to them. many offer 30 minute or an hour of free consultation. you will get much better advice for where you live then asking people on a forum. i am including myself in that statement, because i also am only speaking from experience, but no expert knowledge. as gummi stated the laws in each state are different and every situation has its own circ_mstances which is why no answer you find on here will necessarily be able to tell you what will happen in your given situation. also something else to think about, if he does prove he is the father and something happened to you, he would get custody of your son not your husband. thats how the law states it: "If the mother has sole physical custody and shares joint legal custody with the father the two never married if the mother dies can her husband who is not the baby's biological father a__sume custody?" "Biological Father Gets Custody No, unless the baby's biological father relenquishes his parental rights, he would get custody of the child if the mother dies, not her husband. The biological father must sign his rights away to the mother's husband." now that said, this is all if your ex takes the time and money to try for all of this. note it says if you share joint custody. so if he would have to apply for it. most dont but its better to protect yourself and your son if hes as bad as you say/think he is.



You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!

Already a member?
Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?