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allthingsintime - March 29th, 2007 4:48 PM

I am 8 weeks pregnant and the father of my child adamently does not want the baby. He has been very vocal about not wanting another child (he already has a 4 year old son). Ever since I told him about 4 weeks ago, he has been distant, angry and advocating that I have an abortion. I am very close with his family and I was the one that told his mother that I was pregnant. His sisters and mother all offered congratulations. His sisters call me everyday and tell me to leave him alone. Financially I am okay, I live in my own apartment and he still lives at home with his parents. I really want to keep my baby, as I heard the baby's heartbeat already. But I hope that I am doing the right thing because he is making it clear that he has no plans of being around. He told me to make sure that family court handles everything because he wanted no parts of the baby. Should I get rid of the baby and get rid of him altogether because he is making it perfectly clear that I will be in this without him?


Terio - March 29th, 2007 5:48 PM

I don't have an opinion either way about what you should do (although getting rid of the baby just because it's what he wants isn't the way I'd go) -- but my main point in responding it to tell you to keep in mind... he's being very upfront about what he wants and don't expect him to change. The decision to keep this baby should be based on what you think is best, all things considered... but do not expect him to come around and don't be upset down the road expecting him to step up to the plate and be some all-star Dad. You seem to be making your decision based entirely on him... he's telling you he won't be there -- so expect that. Please don't expect him to come around -- he's telling you he doesn't want to. I really believe you should proceed and make your decision with that clearly in mind. Good luck in what you decide. It sounds like a tough situation.


Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - March 30th, 2007 12:33 PM

I say you keep the baby...all you have to lose is him...don't lose him and the baby and make a decision you regret. The baby needs you, and by you terminating a pregnancy will only make things worse for you...and the fact that you want to keep your baby I can guarntee 100% that if you terminate this pregnancy you will live with regret and heartache. Abortion is murder...the baby did not ask to be put in this situation and the baby deserves a chance at life even though his/her father is and a__s. You don't need a man, he obviously don't want you or the baby...so at least enjoy your time with your child. Your baby deserves his/her mother at least. If not look into open adoption...abortion will only make things worse for you. He won't care either way what you do and don't punish the baby for his mistakes. Give the baby a chance and raise him/her to not be like his father.


kady - April 9th, 2007 10:53 PM

it's your body not his so it is your decision.If my man ever told me that he don't want the baby I would have to leave him.


brittnme9203 - April 10th, 2007 12:15 AM

Let me start by telling you my situation.I was with the 'love of my life' for almost 3 years.We were living together and I got pregnant.We were all fine and well until my 3RD month.We began arguing and the relationship became abusive.One night he beat me so bad that I miscarried.Of course I kicked him out and we seperated for a few months.He apologized and swore up and down that it would never happen again.I took him back and within the month of our reuniting I found out I was pregnant again.He claims I tried to trap him and that he wanted nothing to do with something that's 'a part of me'.He pleaded with me to get an abortion and said if I didnt that he would not have anything to do with me or our child.He admits that he knows it's his;however he says that within a week of our breaking up, he's back with his high school sweetheart and that he doesn't want this child to mess up their relationship. He even threatens me by telling me that he's gonna beat this one out of me like he did the last one or that he's gonna knock me off.Lord knows I've been through hell with him and it' even got to the point where I would go to sleep at night and pray that I wouldn't wake up.Actually, 3 days ago he bust a window out of my car.But, with the intervention of family, prayer and church, me and my unborn have been okay.Im now 2 months pregnant and though it's a rough road, things will start looking better.Just make sure you surround yourself with people that are there for you and love you.Trust me, I know how you feel.Don't worry about a man thats no good.You know in your heart whats right.FOLLOW IT!!


diannamichelle - May 5th, 2007 9:48 AM

I think if he is going to be that way I would have him legally sign away his rights. You don't want him to come back 6 years down the road and start demanding rights. That would be hurtful to your child because, chances you will definitely move on. That happened to me the father of my child moved across the country and was only seeing him once a year for about two days. I got married when my son was three and had been with my husband since he was two. So my husband is really all he knew. The biological father came back when my son was six I tried to get him to let my husband adopt him and he wouldn't let me. It was really hard on my son. My son didn't want anything to do with him. My son didn't want to call him dad and he would spank him everytime he called him Mike. Keep the baby lose the jerk.


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