New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password? Need Help?  
Steph - September 29th, 2004 11:29 PM

I am now twelve weeks pregnant and my partner has told me that he wants nothing to do with me or the baby. I have agreed to his decision stating that I cannot force him to do anything he does not want to do but now he wants me to sign an "agreement" stating that I have freed him freed him from any parental obligation. I have not signed anything but want to get on with my life. I am accepting my role as a single mother but still feel very hurt and betrayed. I don't want to feel hurt and just want to get on with my life, the stress is not good for the health of my baby. I need reassurance that I am not the only one out there and there are many other courageous women who I will become part of.


Hazel - September 30th, 2004 8:10 AM

You are not the only one out there! I'm 16weeks and have been told he will leave if i don't terminate....Why do we fall in love with these a..holes!??? Hang on in there


Kim - October 4th, 2004 10:17 AM

Hey Steph: DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING freeing him of his parental obligations. I work in the legal field, and I see it everyday, selfish deadbeat fathers trying to do anything they can to avoid having to pay child support. Go see a lawyer of your own. If he wants nothing to do with the life of your child, he still has the obligation to financially support that child. Don't tell him your seeing a lawyer, just do it! Im now 20 weeks pregnant and doing this on my own. The father and I will try to work things out without going to the courts, but I will proceed legally if I have to, and he knows what I do for a living, and he's absolutely petrified of not being able to keep up a legal battle with me. Good luck to you and dont be afraid to do this on your own!


Denise - October 5th, 2004 9:44 AM

You are not alone! My boyfriend came back from Poland a week ago and asked me to have an abortion.

When he first found out I was pregnant he was very happy, but after his trip he decided the baby and I were not what he wanted in his life. His actions were like a rat caught in a trap, as all he did was try to squirm out of the situation. As he was getting worse by the day, I advised him that I would rather not have him around if it meant him hating me further on down the line and all the emotional injury affecting the child. He jumped at the opportunity and then callously advised me, he wishes he meets a girl like me in the future. He will now be leaving London to go and live in Poland.

The most upsetting thing is, the phone number I had of his parents, he tore out and took with him. That was the end of any feelings I had for him.

As I have moved on, I wish him all the best in his newly found Poland.


loren - October 5th, 2004 10:32 AM

hi steph...dont sign anything for him. he is just as responsible for this as you are. he may also change his mind in the long run...many people go through this and has uncertainties with pregnancy. try not to stress yourself out over it, if you want this baby, have it. there are sooooooooooo many single mother out there who have wonderful lives and you will never feel lonley with your child!


Men! - October 10th, 2004 1:28 PM

You are not the only one and I suggest you consult with an attorney or someone who is knowledgable about this stuff before signing anything. He should have to pay child support, if nothing else. Good luck sweetheart!


cris - November 6th, 2004 1:45 PM

I know haw you feel. The first time I got pregnant I was told to terminate and I was so scared that I did. Now I'm pregnant and going through the same thing...such a guy thing.... this time I'm strong enough to know that I can do this on my own. Be stong and hang in there, it's scary but you can do it!


Mel - November 7th, 2004 7:06 PM

i'm only seven weeks pregnant and my boyfriend (ex) told me that if i don't get an abortion (total oxymoron here) that he was going to fight for 100% full custody. men are fcuked. don't sign anything steph. i thought about that too, asking HIM to sign off all rights because i know perfectly well that i can do this alone... but then again, it is his responsibility and you do deserve some sort of support. in the end, only God will judge him. you do the best you can and keep yourself healthy and strong. don't let your partner freak you out. you're courageous for keeping your baby just as all of the woman out there are. my ex told me that i had little charactor and that i was weak because i wouldn't have an abortion. i said, no. i had little charactor and i was weak the first two times i took the lives of my children. now i'm doing what's right. if you feel you can't take care of the baby, think about adoption. FOLLOW YOUR HEART. IT WILL NEVER LEAD YOU ASTRAY.


Meme - November 8th, 2004 2:25 PM

I am in the same boat. I am so hurt by his actions and non-actions. I do plan to sue him for child support but going through this alone is so hard and painfull to my heart.
I wish there were men I could find to subst_tute for the absence. An other man who wants to and will go through the pregnancy with me.

Ever want to talk, I am here too and could use the support of someone going through the same thing.


liz - November 9th, 2004 1:32 PM

hi love, you are so not alone. i have been left on my own when i was married! the amazing thing is that we all have the strength and the courage to do things alone. i admit it is not always easy when they are tiny, we all get tired but if i can do it so can u. ive just found out that im pregnant again and im alone again. the bound that you make with your baby will make you strong. you will learn as they will from you. dont be a fool as to sign anything. why the heck should you. give yourself time hun. i never signed anything, never will. trust me you dont need a man. like i said if i can do it then you can.my eldest daughter is 11.my son is 7 and the youngest girl is 4 and im expexting again. i work and go to college. i know i can handle it. have loads of faith in yourself. i know how it feels to be let down and betrayed. rise above it. you and baby are the ones that count.if you get upset then baby does. im in the same situation. believe in yourself. i wish you the best of luck. dont forget your not alone sweetheart.xxxxxx


Angela - November 10th, 2004 9:43 PM

I am so sad to see how many women are in this situation. I have been married for 8 1/2 years, have a 5 year-old, a 3 year-old and am 6 months pregnant. My husband has been gone for three months. He won't be coming back. You see, nothing is ever for sure. I share in your stress, your loneliness and particularly your feelings of "how am I going to do this?" I hope it helps to know that there are so many women going through the same thing. It may not always feel like it, but we will make it through, and our babies will be very fortunate to have such strong, loving mothers.


donna - November 19th, 2004 2:10 PM

ifound out i am pregnant today.he just left. i am gutted. he will stay if i get rid of it


kelly - November 21st, 2004 8:30 AM

i am in the same situation as you,my babys father laeft me when i told him i was pregnant and hasnt spoken to me since and now i am 38 weeks,he phoned me the other day saying sorry and now everything is fine............he will come back dont worry good luck


Donna - November 21st, 2004 12:27 PM

If he doescome back though, does that make it ok? i mean, i dont think so, they can walk in and out as they please, we cant.. you know, and if he does come back,, how long til he goes again, Am I wrong here to want some stable support. We have been together two years. The thing is, he says he does love me and we will be fine only if i terminate. Feels like blackmail...

i am pleased for you that it all worked out for you though, good luck to you all now.. xx


Audrey - November 21st, 2004 2:56 PM

Donna and Kelly- don't be intimidated. The father of your baby seems to be messing with you. Many such men are scared and might see a baby as an obstacle to the woman they are with. Once the baby is born the woman's time will be taken up with the baby and not him. If you can, sit down with the baby's father and work out the options that you have, and don't let the guy scare you into anything you don't want to do.


Mel - November 24th, 2004 5:59 AM

And i thought i was alone. I'm in a very similar position and it hurts. But what i had to realise was that a man acting like this isn't worth having in your childs life. You must be strong. I'm not sure what to say about this "agreement". Things can change so quickly from both sides and only you know this man. Just remember it takes 2 to make a baby and just because he doesnt want anything to do with it doesnt mean he hasn't got obligations to you and that of your bundle of joy. Good luck X


tracey - December 1st, 2004 7:04 PM

im 10 weeks pregnant...and feeling so low..the father isnt speaking 2 me..and wants me 2 terminate...and 2 top it off..my family r being so horrible 2 me..because the guy is mixed race....they say im cruel 2 bring a mixed child here...im 32 yrs old yet feel like im12..asking 4 permission ..help


ADD A COMMENT:


Please login or register to post on this thread.
Start A New Discussion