Alone Amp Pregnant

263 Replies
Fairy - February 1

You need to have legal papers drawn up that state that he resigns his parental rights. This will prevent him from being able to take your baby in the future. A friend of mine did not do this and after 4 years of some visitation the father got custody of her son. Have him sign these! You need to protect yourself and your child!

 

sara - February 1

my partner has just told me that he will never forgive me for being pregnant. I feel soooooo special right now

 

Stacey - February 5

I hurt for you. I too am pregnant, going through a divorce and have had affair and am now pregnant and unsure of who the father is. Neither one wants to take any responsibility and they both just want me to get rid of the baby and alieviate the problem. I am so scared and neither of them wants anything to do with me, or the baby, they too want to be freed. It hurts, but you did not make this baby on your own, and he needs to stand up and be a man and do his part. Dont sign anything especially now...he cant relinquish his rights until after the baby is born anyway. Set your mind at ease and enjoy being pregnant there are millions of women out there who will never have the priviledge of being a mom. Dont let him rob you of this joy. You are certainly not alone.

 

kristie - February 7

do not sign! i had been with my ex for 7 years - supposedly getting married in june- we split 2 1/2 years ago ish for 6 months during which time we both saw other people . got back together had the most wonderful 2 1/2 yrs then we found out one of his flings had gotten pregnant- had it and brought it up as someone elses. we split in sept- as he didn`t have the bottle to tell me himself . then dec he came back begging- i tried so hard as the love we had really was something- welcomed his daughter into our home etc and everything ok ish then he kept on bringing up the fact that i had slept with someone in this recent split and how he couldn`t cope with it (yet i was supposed to cope with the fact that he has a child with his 1 night stand of course). anyway this went on then i told him i couldn`t be punished for something i had done when we werent together so i told him where to go ( this hurt more than anything as we both wanted to go back how we had been before the child more than anything- ) then i found out i m pregnant. im 8 weeks told him when i was 6 weeks and he was ovewr the moon hes been brilliant then this weekend on the ale he has brought it up again about the guy i with and then dared ask me if it was his. i told him where to go . i don`t recognise him anymore when hes drinking and now have to face this alone i never ever thought this would happen to me especially eith him he was my world for so long. im angry hurt scared and totally heartbroken

 

sarah - February 23

u r not on ur own- i am 3 months this week and my boyfriend has said he dont want nothing to do with me anymore, i am so upset , but i have made a choice to keep my baby and i have got to try and be strong- but at the moment i am finding it really hard to be strong- i have got my family and friends but_ts not the same as having ur boyfriend the father of ur child with u is it! ibut we are not alone there are loads of women that cope on their own every day- it just means that we will be another woman bringin up a baby on our own- but i am sure we will be ok- good luck

 

Jennifer - March 2

I'm about 8 weeks pregnant and alone. I just broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years. He wants to run around still act like a teenager and drink and smoke and stay out until 5 in the morning with no phone call to me. He says he's an adult and he should be able to do what he wants and I stop him from doing everything, which is completely untrue. This was happening for months even before we found out I was pregnant. I told him I understood what he was going through and that if he wanted to do those things we could take a break so that I didn't have to suffer through it. But that's not what he wanted. He promised he'd change. But of course those promises last about a day or two. As hard as it was for me (because I love him so much) I kept kicking him out and trying to let him go have his freedom so that I can move on. But he never wanted that. He begged me to forgive him and told me he'd change and then he'd go off and do it again 2 days later. After we found out I was pregnant I freaked out because we weren't doing too well and I didn't know if I could count on him. He was happy at first then he freaked for a quick second but got over it quickly and he was so happy about it afterwards. He's been more positive about it than I have, but his habits haven't changed. I kicked him out one last time a few days ago and I guess that pushed him over the edge. Now he blames everything on me. He says I've pushed him away and I make things so hard for him. I'm the whinyest pregnant woman he's ever met. My gosh, I'm sorry, this is my first baby and I've never felt this sick before! I feel abandoned and I'm having a hard time because of our already existing problems so I was paranoid that he would end up leaving me alone and now he has. Now when I bring up the fact that I'm pregnant he gets p__sed because he thinks I'm trying to make him feel bad about it. Supposedly I'm selfish and everything is all about me. I'm just trying to get him to understand where I'm coming from. He says he still wants the baby, he just needs a break from me. I hate that guys get to do that. They can just disconnect themselves while we sit here and suffer. I love him so much but I feel so stupid for letting this happen to me. This is all out of no where for me. He's been telling me everything is fine for months and then he just springs it on me out of no where that things have been horrible for him and part of him loves me but part of him doesn't because I make things so hard for him. I forced him to become someone he's not. He says he's tired of not being himself. No one can change you, you change yourself. I always told him to do what HE wants to do because I didn't want him 10 years from now to blame me for everything and hate me because he did something just because he thought that's what I wanted. Looks like that didn't have to take 10 years...he's doing it now even though I tried my best to stop it from happening this way. I only got on him for not following through with whatever promises he's made me. He's had every opportunity to end or fix things he just chose to pretend everything was okay and now I'm pregnant and alone and he's off with his friends partying. I resent him so much. I don't know if I can be connected to this person for the rest of my life. I don't know if I want my baby to be subjected to the kind of person he has become. I don't want his selfishness to rub off on my child. If I can't count on him to follow through with what he tells me and promises me, how can my child count on him? A child deserves two responsible loving parents, regardless of whether they are together. I'm just so scared my baby will suffer. I'm trying to tell myself not to stress because it's unhealthy for the baby but I don't know if I'm going to be a good enough mother he's told me so many bad things about me that I'm wondering if there's not some truth to it. I'm crushed and I feel so alone. I just don't know if I can do this. I know I've made this whole thing about my feelings about the break-up but I just have no one else to talk to and it kind of helps to get it out. Thanks for listening to me babble. If anyone wants to email me [email protected]

 

Lizzy - March 6

I found out I am pregnant today. I am carrying my friend's child and he has a girlfriend. He wants me to abort, I cannot do this. He says I will ruin his life if I choose to do this. I cannot justify aborting a life just so another one wont be burdened. It is an awful situation and I feel like an awful person.

 

Arrie - March 7

Hi everyone on the website I need help I am not pregnant but I'm doing a research paper on teenage pregnancy so I can help an young lady that is pregnant. You might think how are you going to help someone if you have never been through it but hey she needs words of encouragment and I think I can help but I need your help.

 

Louise - March 8

Like just about all of you I am alone and pregnant. This is also the second time this has happened to me. I have a 3 yeard old girl whose dad is the biggest loser on the planet and now I am 3 months pregnant by another loser that wants nothing to do with me or the baby. What is wrong with men? This latest one has said everything will be fine between us if I have an abortion, wanker! The most difficult part is that all his family know and want to play an active part in my childs' life even if he doesn't. Where does that leave me? I just want to move away and start again with my children. I'm hoping to see light at the end of the tunnel soon x

 

Amallah - March 9

I know how you feel. My daughter's father left me when I almost had a miscarriage, he was planning on leaving me for his other girlfriend who lied to him for 5mos. saying she was pregnant and she really wasn't.But he left anyway. It is hard, the best thing you can do is take care of you &that baby. If he wants to leave, let him. Don't dwell on him, THAT is your baby. And believe me because of stress so early on in your pregnancy it can make you miscarry. Let it go. And when you get to hold your baby for the first time it will be definitely worth it regardless of the pain you went through behind him. There are single mothers everywhere but remember that even though you're going through a hard time now, someone else always has it rougher. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP. And DO NOT sign anything, you take his sorry a** to court for child support, he was with you when you got pregnant, he deserves to be put on child support, don't let him tell you that ya'll can work it out w/o the courts because my ex told me that, but he can take care of kids that aren't even his but can't take care of his first born! Believe me you'll only be alone for alittle while longer, in the meantime you'll find the strength to get through, you WILL. Stay strong for that baby!

 

JLK - March 10

Don't sign anything!

 

agypsygirl - March 10

I promise you- you are NOT alone. I am 40 years old, I have no family and I am in the exact situation right now. I got layed off from my job of 4 years in Aug. In Sept found out I had early signs of glacoma and in October found out I was pregnant. The father, is 45 years old, and does not want to be a dad. He said I had to have an abortion....PERIOD. I took my dog and went home. I have always wanted a baby, but not with out being married and having a loving supportive partner. Oh well s--- happens! What should be a beautiful experience is being shadowed by a very selfish, gloomy mans perspective. I am going to therapy to try to understand why I think I am so in love with a man who doesn't care about me or his own flesh and blood. I would like to continue to talk to you about your sisuation as it seems as though we have a rough road in common. Agypsygirl

 

liz - March 10

You definately are not the only one out there. I found out yesterday I was pregnant. My boyfriend and I split about a month ago so he feels he has no ties to me anymore. When i told him I was pregnant, the first words out of his mouth was "Get rid of it" and then proceeded to tell me that if i do have the baby he will having nothing to do with me or his child. Now I have to make a decision. Be a single mom or decide to terminate the pregnancy. I've never been so confused!

 

amanda - March 12

i completely understand everything your going though physical and emotional stress my boyfreind has recently told me he wants nothing to do with me and this baby if i do not abort i'am 9 wks and i refuse to give into a man but at the same time its very hard to deal with why a person could do this at such a time after all babies are half the women and half the man i wish you much luck and be strong sweetie.

 

christine - March 17

I am so sorry for the sadness of your situation. If you can turn it around, you will find so much power from overcoming the sorrow and the struggles of it. If it was me in your situation, I would play dumb-act slightly confused as to how to write up such a doc_ment for him, and get him to write up the doc_ment himself, and have him sign it, and then take it from him WITHOUT signing it myself and use it to prove he doesn't want custody so I could win sole custody myself! What a great little piece of evidence that would be! Especially if someone just happened to "witness" him signing it in front of you before you got ahold of it. I also feel sad about not sharing the pregnancy with the baby's father, but I grew tired of BEGGING him to participate. Now is a time for us to feel bliss. I am so happy that I am pregnant. I have found so many resources that help. I was fortunate to know how to file the papers I need to EARLY. I filed them at 12 weeks pregnant. The father makes good money and shall be responsible for providing child support. And I will give him visitation whenever he wants, as much as is age appropriate and feasible. But as for sole custody...a person who doesn't even want to be a father doesn't get custody of my baby.

 

Caryn - March 19

I am also pregnant and alone. I am almost 3 months and just found out tonight that my boyfriend now wants nothing to do with me, he said he would support the child financially but we are not compatible! Yesterday he said everything would be great between us if I just had an abortion and we waited until we were ready to raise the child. I told him I couldn;t have an abortion and his feelings all of sudden change towards me! Go figure! What I want to know is why do men think of these things after the fact?? I am so mad right now, and feel soooo alone in all of this. If any of you need to talk I could really use some friends to help me through.

 

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