Can You Believe This Jerk I M 7 Months Pregnant

27 Replies
hurt and lost - October 12

My so called husband went behind my back. He had a happy little reunion w/his ex-wife and her son (not biologically his) and his daughter (who she has never allowed him to see -he's never laid eyes on her in almost 2 yrs). Anyway, she called me acting all nice yesterday, then somehow today he "ran into her" at an auto parts store. Hmmm....something fishy or what???? He got to love and hug and hold and play with and visit the kids. All it took was her making the move. Lets see, when she kicked him to the curb while she was 5 months pregnant (with the daughter he's never seen) she immediately shacked w/this guy (the new boyfriend). She was still married to him. She took warrants out on him for "simple assault - fear" and something else. Oh ...breaking into his own home. Anyway, it took almost 2 yrs to get the charges dropped so he could not under any circ_mstance contact this b******. Okay, he tells me he wants nothing to do w/the daughter (he's never met -his blood child). He loves the son, however, (the one that is not his that he has no rights to whatsoever). So all this b**** has to do is show up w/puppy dog eyes and he's obligating to her BEHIND MY BACK! ...about child support and helping her out and driving to the next town to pick her kids up from day care and basically being back in their lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know it's not the kids fault, but it's like f************* ME, his wife who loves him and is carrying his son (his biological son). I gave him my life, my all and he goes behind my back like that. It's over. I'm not being second to his first family. Why did he make a life-changing decision right now that hurts me. See, the girl said her boyfriend (the one she left him for and shacked w/all this time) is "out of the picture" and she now wants Josh to step back in. After all the bs she put him thru and she's freakin psycho, he's willing to interject her into MY life. As far as I'm concerned he can go back to that family. I'm so hurt. He might as well have cheated on me. He is willing to put them ahead of me. I thought he loved me. I thought we were a family. He set me straight that he will be a father to those kids now after all that's happened. He left then came back and is on the couch. He can go to h__l. I'm kicking him out. I don't need this drama. I haven't eaten since noon and it's 1 am, I tried to eat and puked b/c my nerves are shot. I can't do this to my baby but I don't know how to not be upset. I just lost someone I love with all my heart. I can't settle for this.

 

Renee - October 12

Your story brought tears to my eyes....then again I am an emotional wreck too. You called it right when you said you can't do that to your baby. Even though are feelings have been hurt and there are some really mean, disrespectful people out there we have to put our "little priority" in number one position. Try doing things to calm your nerves......go for a walk....go to your church,....start going if you haven't been for awhile, thats what I'm doing.....take a yoga cla__s a couple times a week...they're not that expensive either......you must and have to protect your baby...everything else will fall into place exactly ow it is supposed to. Take care girl. My thoughts are with you.

 

hurt and lost - October 12

Thank you Renee. I am glad someone can understand how I feel. I'm trying my best. I had no sleep last night and I'm so anxious that I dont even feel tired at this point. I'm going home, though, and taking a nap when I get off work. Thanks for your support. God knows I need some right now.

 

hurt and lost - October 12

yes, we live together. We were just recently married but have been together about 1 1/2 yrs. The thing is that I'm not against him being in the child's life, but he has no regards for me in any respect. The ex made the demands and he kissed her a**** and agreed. It's the lack of respect and feelings for me especially since I'm pregnant and we're about to welcome OUR child into this world and now all this is thrown in.

 

my prayers - October 12

are with you and your unborn child .Sounds to me like Josh can't be trusted . How much time was in between you all getting together and his ex-thing kicking him to the curb ? Don't be "hurt and lost" ..... there is a lesson in all ,even pain . I have a fortune cookie fortune taped to my computer and it says : Courage comes through suffering . You are not alone .

 

hurt and lost - October 12

Thank you. It was almost 2 1/2 yrs since she left. We've been together almost 1 1/2 yrs. So there was about a year between them ending and us beginning. Thank you for your words.

 

hurt and lost - October 13

UPDATE: He went behind my back like a dog and had her/the kids over to his dads. He kept lying about when he'd be home. Said he was talking things out w/his dad about all this mess. LIES! Around midnight I rode out there to find her just leaving his dads and him right behind her. Needless to say we have argued. He said he knows it was wrong and won't admit that they were doing anything inappropriate. I keep asking him if he is considering getting back w/her because I have a feeling. He acts like he's ready to leave me and as of last night I find myself trying to hold on. I'm in so much pain. I cannot stand it. I'm dying and I have not slept any in 2 nights. I'd wake up wide awake 5, 10, 20 minues all night long. My head just going over the scenerios of the past 2 days. Why???????????????????

 

Hi - October 13

In my opinion: He is lying to you.....he will continue to lie to you! This is what I would do. Next time he leaves and you know he's leaving to go see her, have about 3 or 4 guy friends, brothers, uncles, whatever come over with a truck and take everything. His TV (hopefully its a big expensive one), laptop, couches, paintings, pictures, clothes, toothbrush, ect...Just take it all. Obviously, you would have to have this planned our in advance. Otherwise, it sounds to me, like you're just going to have to live with him sneaking around with her. Either you live with it or don't. If you don't...take all his stuff!

 

hurt and lost - October 13

Guys, I don't think I can take anymore. At lunch he says he has feelings for her and when I asked said he "doesn't know" if he still loves her. Why is he leaving a loving wife who is about to have his baby for his ex???????????????????????????????????????

 

Lacy - October 13

Im so sorry to hear what this idiot has put you through! I know people say that you shouldnt worry about it because its not good for baby, but its impossible to just turn those feelings off. I just want you to know that I will be praying for you and your little one, and I honestly hope you know that you are way more than this guy deserves. Sorry, i cant really offer much advice, just know that you are strong, even when it doesnt feel like it, and you can get through this with or without him...maybe better without!

 

hurt and lost - October 13

Well, he left me tonight. It's over. He is pursuing a life with his ex-wife and kids. I'm kicked to the curb at 7+months pregnant and feel like I can't make it. My baby doesn't deserve this. I honestly thought this man loved me. I would have bet a million dollars and now he's kicked me to the curb. I'm so lost and devistated.

 

Not hurt n e more,just lost! - October 14

I'm sorry! What you should do is let him go (if that is what he says he wants) if not, then work it out! His ex is just using him because the other guy is out of the picture and she needs someone to help her now,what a whore!! The ex will soon dump him again when she gets what she wants out of him and he will be left all alone without the one person who really loved him (you!) I know this because this happend to me a year and a half ago (I was not pregnant when it happend though) My daughter (that had just turned 3 at the time) me and my little girls dad lived together,we were a family! Then after many fights and me kicking him out, he gets back with his ex wife!! After 5 months of being with his ex wife,son and step daughter (who called him dad) for the first time in over 4 years, it didn't work out,he moved out of her place and he feels like the biggest fool for ever going back to her, he hates her! He came up to my job to let me know they were splitting up before he ever moved out of her place and told me he missed me and he thought about me everyday and that he was sorry, his reason for getting back with her was because I was so mean to him when we lived together and all I ever did was put him down (true!) but still no excuse to do what he did! I forgave him, but I could care less if we end up working it out or not-he would have to prove himself worthy to be back in our lives for good! Oh by the way right after we started talking again was when I got pregnant with our second child (due in 6 weeks), but he is so unreliable that is why I am the single and preg. forum! Good luck to you hurt and lost! Hope everything works out for your family and mine!!

 

hurt and lost - October 14

Thanks. That's just it, even in the best case scenerio if he realized what he lost and came crawling back, I could never trust him again. If he loved me he would not have done this. He's acting today like he's not gonna get back w/her, but he's just gonna move back to his dad's to get his head straight. Well... he walked out on me for a reason. I can't believe he loves me and could do that. Especially just before our baby is born.

 

Silver - October 14

hurt and lost... I just went through a very similar situation. I am currently 35 weeks pregnant (due any time now) and honestly, be strong. You have all that you need in your baby. That child once here is going to rely on you for love and support, and that child will give all of that back to you as well. I'm not sure what is happening to the men in the world these days... but you know what - women are strong, thats why we were given this ability to have children. You can get through this on your own... just stay strong, and friends are the best thing for you right now... make sure they know that you need support... so that they can help you through the next 2 months :)

 

hurt and lost - October 14

Thank you for your replies, everyone. I don't really have many friends. It's embarracing, but my support system is pretty non-existant. My 19 yr old daughter is home (since her short marriage has failed), so I have her around me, but she gets tired of hearing my rants and crying. I don't have a "best friend" or close confidant. I guess that makes it all the harder, he was my best friend. We did so much together. He still acts like he wants to pop in and out like we're friends. Only he doesn't say "I love you" much. Like, when we hang up on the phone. He used to never hang up until we said it, now I get a pitiful "bye". It's like he's just switched into friend mode and I'm hurting way to bad for that. I'd rather he disappear and be out of sight, but then the other part of me is happy to get what I'm getting. I know I'm acting sort of desperate. I'm not stupid. I am just having such a hard time accepting he is gone as far as a husband. I have so many feelings going on in my head right now. I'm mainly mad because he won't be here for my child. I looked at my sonogram video earlier and it makes me so ready to see him and hold him and love him. I want his daddy here to share it with!!!!!!

 

Bree - October 16

You're right, hello. Hindsight is a bit**. Believe me I know he's not worth it. That doesn't stop the pain and devistation I'm feeling. I've resolved that there is nothing i can do to change the situation. He's gone, period. I just feel like such a fool. I never would have imagined he had the capacity to do this to me, ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm a fool for thinking he ever loved me in the first place. I've been trying to keep running the bad things thru my mind. All the things i didn't like about him - all the a****hole qualities he has and how I deserve better than that. I'm mostly crying for my child to be born with no father figure in his life. Dumped by his own weak, spineless father. He also will get what he deserves. I just hope it hurts him like it's hurt me.

 

to hurt and lost - October 16

Dump him. If anyone treated me like she treated him(child or no child) I would not have went back. Pretty soon he will be back with her hurting you even more. When she dumps him again, turn your back on him.

 

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