Dad Will Flip

11 Replies
Kit - January 3

I think there is a chance that I am pregnant. I am in college and I am dating a black guy (I am white). Well I don't know what to do if I am because my dad does not approve of this relationship. He just finally started talking to me again. If I am, how am I supposed to brake this to him?

 

Just a thought - January 4

Please don't take this the wrong way, but why now are you worried about what people (your father) will think? If the individual you are dating has been good to you and treats you with respect race did not matter before and should not matter now. People of the same race, same relgion, same background are in relationships that are bad. A persons racial makeup is not what makes a person it is the individual. If family and friends have not known about this relationship they should love you enough to accept that this is a man that makes you happy and is good to you. Honestly, I understand in our society to many people this is the "forbidden mix - black & white", but you can not let society control your choices. This is your life and will be your life as long as you shall live. You will learn who your true friends are and who really is loyal . Your family in particular should love you and if their love is genuine they will come around and accept the choices that bring you happiness. It may not be immediate, but time will help adjust feelings. You should never put your boyfriend second to those that do not agree. If your family never agrees, you will have to stand up to them and let know you accept their opinion but this is the man you are going build a future with provided this is what your BF wants also. You do not need to spend time trying to make everyone see things your way , if the two of you work together as a couple time will show people your true dedication to one another. Relationships fail and they fail in all sectors of life, failed relationships are not limited to mixed couples or a particular group. I would rather see you with a man that treats you with respect regardless of race than man that shows you little or no respect. I am pregnant by a man (black) and we were together 4 years, he did not want to continue our relationship because he did not want another child. I could have been pregnant by a white man, mexican man... and have the same thing happen. There are deadbeats across the board. I have one sister who will not speak to me because of my situation. Her husband is very racial. I can't control the world, but I am okay with my choice. I will love my baby a child of God, not color. In the final a___lysis you answer to God, not man. Be true to what you believe in and don't anyone dictate your beliefs to you. Remember this: God does not separate his people in heaven he welcomes everyone as they enter his kingdom.

 

Kit - January 4

Thank you very much for the advice. I do want you to know that I do agree with you though. That is why I stayed with him after I told my dad that we were together. I told my dad that I loved him but he was going to have to except who I was dating because I also love this man. I am the least prejudice person you will ever meet and I will always stand up for that. I just want to find a way to break it to him gently so that I can still have a relationship with my dad. I won't find out for another week if I am or not, but even if he doesn't except it, I am going to be a great mom and also stand up to him. The only other downfall for me that has nothing to do with my dad is that he actually does not treat me that well and I know I could do better. Whatever the outcome I am going to be strong and do what is right in my heart. Thank you for all of the advice, but you don't have to worry, I still love this man and will stay with him. i wouldn't care if he was purple, I love him for who he is and I don't care what anyone else thinks. But I wish you the best of luck with your baby!

 

Just a thought - January 4

I understand breaking the whole pregnancy issue and that alone can be hard. But you will find once you do tell it will take a load off you and allow you to place your focus on your health as well as the babies health (if preg.). Why don't you take an early pregnancy test? I think I saw one that detects 5 days prior to your period arriving. If you are pregnant and are concerned about the initial reaction, you may be surprised. My father is one of those whose actions and words don't mix when it comes to race and I just knew he would have a lot to say, but this one time in my life he told my mother that I had a lot to deal with and didn't need him adding to the pressure. He does not talk to me much about the baby, but he also does not lecture me and pa__s judgment. Baby or no baby, please take time to talk with your BF and communicate what direction you would like the relationship to go in. Let him know the things you do not like and follow it with the things you absolutely love about him down his bad habits. It is my theory that you should always end discussions with a positive thought. Race does not matter, you deserve to be treatd respectfully. Maybe if he truly cares and would like to continue in the relationship the two of you can learn to talk about your needs and feelings allowing you to have a healthy relationship and beat the odds that may be stacked against you by society. Let me know if your test is positive or not. I will not be online over the next couple of days, I went to the doctor have dialated, so if I do not go in full labor by myself I will go in the morning (WED) to be induced - its been long 9 months.

 

Kit - January 9

Sorry I was gone for a couple of days. Well first of all...CONGRAGULATIONS!!! You're gonna have to tell me the details!! I think I am going to wait it out on the pg test. It should be here by wed/thurs and I don't really have a lot of money. I think I am just over re-acting and that the nausea is a side effect of the patch. I guess we will wait and see. I will be on as soon as I know and let you know what is up!!

 

Just a thought - January 10

He is everything in more. When you let me know how your test comes out, I will share more. Thank you for the congrats and we will talk soon.

 

Kit - January 10

Well I am very very happy for you. I will let you know within the next couple of days.

 

Kit - January 13

Just wanted to let you know that I did get my period. I think all of the symptoms I had were actually a side effect of being on the patch. For me personally that is a relief because my bf (if you call him that) and I are no longer together and I think he is already dating someone else. but PLEASE tell me all about your baby. I am soo excited for you!!

 

Just a thought - January 14

I am so glad for you that your period came. Truly it is always a better experience when you plan a family and both parties want to have a baby. I am sorry that your boyfriend ended up not being a friend. Life is often filled with lessons and we may not think what we go through will have a meaning but usually they do. If you were not faced with the scare, who knows if you would have seen weather or not you were being played or if he was true. All things happen for a reason. Please for yourself learn a lesson, not just about him, but about yourself. Respect yourself enough to use protection to prevent another possible pregnancy & STD's. You can never be too safe.********** My son is the greatest gift from God. If you give me your email I will send you a picture. He smiles all the time (right now it is muscle reflexes, but we like to think he is happy). He doesn't cry hardly ever. I think you would be shocked at what the baby looks like or doesn't look like. Anyway I hope you find happiness and find someone who will appreciate you in manner in which you deserve to be treated.

 

Kit - January 15

my email is [email protected] I would LOVE to see some pictures!! And then it would be much much easier to keep in touch with you and your son through email. Can't wait to see what he looks like!

 

Just a thought - January 16

kit - I sent them to you.

 

Krystal - January 18

I think that if you are happy then you are happy and any one who loves you is just going to have to learn to deal with their problems and be happy for you. My friend is going thorough a simular problem but she talked to her parents and told them that if they love her then they are going to forgive her and be there for her and it took a while but they are now there and everything is going great. Good luck and I will keep you in my thoughts

 

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