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Heather - November 14th, 2004 3:34 PM

My boyfriend and I have just split up after 3 years. I am almost 5 months pregnant and his father doesn't approve. He says he wants the baby to have his last name and he won't sign off rights. Legally do I have to have him on the birth certificate and have this last name. I live in New York State.


ca__sandra - November 14th, 2004 10:26 PM

as far as i know, you can name the baby whatever you want. your not married so i dont think they can make you give your baby his last name...as far as the birth certificate, i'm really not sure... you should ask your doctor, he/or she would probably know.


Christine - November 15th, 2004 1:07 PM

Married or not you do not have to give the baby his last name...well I should say at least in the United States...I dont how it else where...I have two now...I decided to give them their fathers last name, as well as mine (hyphanated)...now I wish I hadnt, it's just harder on the kids because thier names are so long(lol)...


bmorebabe - November 16th, 2004 1:54 PM

I just had my second last thursday and there was no way in hell she was getting her fathers last name so she has mine. You fill out the form for the birth certificate at the hospital and whatever you write is what becomes the childs name. So definately if you want your child to have your last name give your child your last name.


erin - May 5th, 2005 10:42 PM

no, you do not have to put his last name on the birth certificate.


April - May 6th, 2005 10:19 AM

You SHOULD put the father on the birth certificate because if you don't then the state will give you trouble if you try to get help (that's what my dr. office told me). But don't worry, even if the father's name is on the birth certificate you CAN still give your baby YOUR last name. That's what I'm gonna do. My baby's father hasn't been here this whole pregnancy. He is NOT getting his daughter named after him, but he will be on the birth certificate. He's paying child support. He's gotta have SOME responsibility in this!


nikki - May 6th, 2005 10:27 AM

You can give a baby the last name of "Montgomery" if yu wanted. It doesn't matter. I acutally have my mothers last name and not my fathers even though they are both married and cared for me growing up.


aishah - May 6th, 2005 6:50 PM

If he files a paternity suit then he will be known as the childs legal father and have the legal rights accordingly..but the name is anything you like


crystal - May 7th, 2005 2:06 AM

You don't have to give your baby his last name. It can be the same as yours if that's what you want.You will have no trouble seeking help if you decide to bring him to court. If you do bring him to court and he agree's that's his child then things will proceed, if he say's it's not then the judge will order him to take a paternity test.


jimbob - May 7th, 2005 12:58 PM

i am the father of
a child in which the mother insisited
on using her maiden name ---i insist on mine ---instead of fighting about it
we let our lawyers slug it out --and sorry laddies --but if the man is supporting the child --he has a say in the raising of the child


April - May 7th, 2005 4:08 PM

jimbob... we aren't saying he doesn't have a say.... but if you're a single mother... you CAN name your child whatever you want... especially if the guy isn't around... like my ex.. he's avoided me during the pregnancy... how do i knew he's going to be there after the birth? i don't want her to grow up with the last name of someone who isn't around... now had he been here to support me during the pregnancy, then I would give her his last name. I'm sure he'll throw a fit when he finds out... but i'm sorry.. there's nothing he can do about it... and in some states the mother even has automatic full custody of the child if the parents aren't married... so while the father may have a say... the mother has a bigger say... and rightly so


jimbob - May 7th, 2005 6:01 PM

i agree with you to a point
when a man is paying child support
the court is very interested in the father staying involveld in the childs life--and in my case changed the surname to mine ---

my child is a product of a one night stand and i wasnt around for the pregnancy becasue quite frankly i didnt believe her ----dna test was taken --i paid child support w/ out a court order--and visted on a schedule convient for the mother ---i wanted my last name and i got it---


April - May 7th, 2005 6:42 PM

What state do you live in? See my ex knows it's his.. I lived with him for a year and then he just bailed on me and got another girlfriend.. then he avoided me... I doubt any court is gonna give our daughter his last name... that's the first time I've ever heard of that happening. You must've had a good lawyer


jimbob - May 8th, 2005 1:38 PM

yes i have a very good lawyer
i am not insensitve to the mother
i understand she is bitter for going through the pregnancy alone ---i hinestly had my doubts about whetehr iwas the father or not ---hey like it or not casual s_x happpens----i told her if and when a paternity test proved i was the fahter i w/ do the right thing

i pay her $600/ week and i a visit on a schedule which is convient for her ---

i insisted on my name and i fought for it--the judge deemed it imortant that the child knows the father will always be there for them ...

u cnat expect a man to pay and be involoved --and deny the child his name ---if u feel that strongly have the papers drawn up and have him sign over his parental rights


April - May 8th, 2005 2:26 PM

wooooooooooooooooooow... $600 a week???? that's crazy child support! Anyway... see my feeling is... for now she will have my name.. because I am not exactly sure how involved he is going to be... some of his family members are telling me not to expect him to come around until she is out of diapers... so i don't want her to have to grow up with his last name if he isn't going to be there for her... BUT... if he IS involved.. and proves to me that he is going to STAY involved and not leave her when she's 3 (like my half-sister's dad did) then I have no problem with changing her last name to his. I just feel that he should have to earn it. Right now he is taking NO responsibility, so until he proves to me that he's gonna be a father. Things are going to be my way. Also, it's easier to change from the mother's name to the father's later.. than to try and change it to my name later. So I think it's just better to do it this way.


April - May 8th, 2005 2:32 PM

oh... and who says the father should have the rights to the last name anyway? the mother carries the child for 10 months... EVERYTHING we do affects that child... we go through the pains of pregnancy and the pains of delivery... just because the father has to pay support doesn't mean he should get the privelage of having that child named after him... especially if he wasn't any support to the mother (now in your case i know it's different because you weren't sure if it was yours... but in my case.. he IS sure) so i think i CAN expect the father to pay and be involved no matter what the child's last name is... simply because it's HIS CHILD... and don't forget the mother has just as much involvement (if not more) and money as the father does... you might not have thought of it that way before...


jimbob - May 8th, 2005 9:34 PM

i completyl understand
your point ---and i feel badly for being
a di*k--but there was no relationship---
and i dint want to be taken for a fool--

it's a sore subject --but a lot of men are paying alot of $ for kids that arent theirs----

i just dont understand --why a woman w/ demean a man who is willing to step up and be a dad and then deny his name


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