Father Doesn T Know That I Kept The Baby

9 Replies
Holly - September 1

Okay I had a one night stand with a guy friend of mine we only knew each other for 2 months. I called him the day I found out I was pregnant. I was so freaked out I planned on getting an abortion( I am 24) he is 21. He asked me very nicely on what my plans were with the baby I told him I wanted an abortion,. He told me he would pay for half of it. The day I was going to get an abortion I called him no answer and no call back I haven't heard from him in 2 months I am now 14 weeks pregnant. All of this happened in Michigan which I have lived her for 4 years. I am moving back to Texas were I was born and raised my family has offered me a huge support system and I leave in a week. Should I call the father of my baby? What if he tries to take the baby away from me now and I live in Texas? and the baby is being born in Texas. Or should I just not contact him at all although that seems like what he has wanted... He has my phone number.. Any advice would be great, Thanks

 

Sasha's Mommy - September 1

If he hasn't called, and he has your number, it seem as though he doesn't want to be involved. when you move to texas you still need to keep tabs on him in michigan, because of child support and because whether he likes it or not he's goung to be a daddy. he may want to give up his rights or want to be part of the child's life.

 

- September 1

its only fair that the baby knows his birthfather, if hes in its life or not

 

helpful hints - September 1

It seems from what you have said that maybe he doesnt want nothing to do with an abortion. Maybe hes confused and embarra__sed.Id say try to call him and let him know you are keeping the baby and ask what his plans are as of the baby.Im sure if he didnt try to force you to get an abortion then things will work out just fine.

 

Jenny - September 1

Just tell him your having the baby. Put yourselfs in the guys situation, I mean yes he's a jerk for not calling, but wouldn't you want to know you have a son or daughter out there?? If he doesnt want to be a part of the baby's life, than that's that, but he has the right to know.

 

Holly - September 3

Well I ended up talking with the father and since I am moving from Michigan to Texas next week all he really wants are pics of the baby. And I know of his mother and she gets pyscho over her grand children tries to get custody and tries to sue you, but he has decided not to tell his mother which I am glad because I don't want he to try and get custody of my baby. He isn't even concerned that I am moving 2000 miles away so I pretty much figure that he really doesn't care about being in the baby's life and the twist to this all he has known through a friend of his for a month and a half that I was keeping the baby and din't get the abortion and never once tried to contact me...I personally don't want him to be a part of my baby's life it would just be less drama and know I believe he feels the same way. But could his mother (if she one day found out) take my child from me or pressure the dad too? This has got me all worried now I know this stuff beacuse I work with his sister in law and she is married to his brother and has his baby she said once his mom finds out that she would make my life a living hell, and I don't want that . But from the way my baby's daddy talked he didn't want to tell her nad is not going to. so let me keep my fingers crossed.

 

Shawna Joy - September 3

Hi Holly! Sweetie you have got to act very quick. You need to have him sign that he no longer wants parental rights. His parents do not need to know. If you do not do this ASAP, he may have a change of heart and turn on you. I'm so sorry that he has in a way rejected you and treated you as he has. I know that must hurt a lot. These actions show that he does not care for the baby or you at least at this point in his life. I'm not sure where you should start but I think you may be able to start by calling an agency. You may even try an adoption agency. I know you are keeping your baby, but these agencies know what to do to get the fathers parental rights terminated. For example, here in Ohio, even if the father comes back to contest an adoption, most of the time he will lose, because our state will require him to show receipts that he helped you during your pregnancy, that he was there for you, and that he wants the baby. There are many hoops for him to jump through with a time limit and most of them cannot do it because they didn't care in the beginning so there were no receipts, etc to show. Get him to sign ASAP. And if he ever wants to see the baby after that, he can if you want him to but you do not need to ever worry that he or his family will ever try to take the baby from you. Please let us know how things go. Also, I believe he can sign off before the baby is born. He can in our state, but the rules may be different for yours.

 

Mia B - September 4

I agree with HELPFUL hints- I too got pregnant because of a fling between me and a guy friend, when I told him I was pregnant he DENIED the baby and even though I wanted to cut him off completely... I knew I needed to keep tabs on him for the sake of my daughter who MIGHT want to know her birth father later down the line. I have a very supportive, caring family and boyfriend and my boyfriend will be DADDY and will be on the baby's birth certificate but we KNOW we will be honest with our daughter when the time comes to help her understand the truth. I am living in Texas and will be moving to San Antonio when the baby is born... what part are you headed to? Email me if you'll be nearby, [email protected]

 

dont know if this is pertinant - October 5

Hi, i am a 22 year old mom of two from pa. here is my thing, my older daughter's biological father was an aquaintance who raped me. He is not on the birth certificate , and would have to pay about $300 plus court costs and paternity test costs to get any chance of gaining parental rights because i married the guy i was dating when i found out i was pregnant(we already knew she might not be his) , anyhow, i have no legal obligation, but due to feeling my daughter has a right to have access to her biological father I have chosen to keep tabs on the bio father and keep him posted as long as he wants. i just make sure i keep my nose super clean so that he never has half a chance if he ever gets the nerve to file. That is the BIG THING , if you are a good mom and take care of your kiddo then the most he could ever hope for is visitation. BTW if you are living out of state he would have to contest you moving before you leave, even if you are still pregnant, or HE would have to travel to where you are for his visits and his visits would be where you are. Good luck , if you would like my email is [email protected]

 

me - October 9

The right thing to do is to tell the father that you are keeping the baby. What he does with the info after that is up to him. He may want to step up and be a father once he finds out. Either way, you will be ent_tled to child support from him whether he wants to be part of the child's life or not. If he does not want any part in it, he can relinquish his rights completely. Good luck!

 

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