Foreing And Pregnant Need To Understand Few Legal Things

10 Replies
kristina1980 - January 14

Hi, I am around 8 weeks preg. with American who I am with over 3 years. I am European (Slovakia). I have student visa, but as soon as baby is born I will probably ask for residency. However me and the baby's daddy are not lately getting along very well and he mentioned he didn't even want this baby, which is shock for me, because we were planning. He complains constanty about money even though we have two small business which are doing I guess OK. Today he said he don't want me to talk to the baby in my native language because he doesn't understand it. he doesn't seem accept and respect my culture, and want to raise the child only as a black kid, which is NOT ok with me. I'm proud of who I am and I want to expose the child to both culture white european and black american. I am really afraid I will end up as single mom in the US and I rather go back to Europe as soon as it is save for the baby to travel. Does anyone know the legal issues of bringing an infant (who will be US citizen) out of Country? Or anyone in similar situation. I thought it won't be hard at all to have interracial and bilingual family, but doesn' look so smooth anymore.

 

tallgirl - January 15

Well it can get complicated. The father makes it very difficult for you. If the baby has the fathers last name, or is listed as the father on the birth certificate, you need to get his premission and have to go through courts, and basically if he says you can't take the baby out of the country to live you are going to have BIG problems. But if the father gives you no problems, or he isn't listed on the birth certificate I am sure it would be easier for you. though if that happens it may hurt your baby's citizenship. If you get the fathers premission, all you should need is a past port for your baby. Though I am not sure about establishing dual citizenship. There are some complecations that way. There is actully many complexcatoins. But your biggest one will be if the father says you can't take the baby. I would recomend talking to a laywer.

 

kristina1980 - January 15

wow, thanks for response. that sounds like some Muslim rules. I hoped that with the US it won't be so hard. I guess, I will try not to stress so much, since I am only 8 weeks, and try to get along with the daddy if only because of the baby. thanks tallgilr.

 

tallgirl - January 15

not exactly muslim...I mean the father can't take the baby out of the country without your premission either. We are supposedly an equal rights country where the father has just as much rights as the mother. I guess thats fair for most.

 

falafal0 - January 16

Hi kristina1980 - I feel for you. It's tough situation to be in. I don't really know alot about the legality of the things you ask about, but I would think that having the baby out of the country would mean that the father wouldn't have a say wether you left or not, you wouldn't be there anyway? If you gave birth in the US, baby would an american citizen, needing father's permission I a__sume to leave? If baby was born in your home country, surely that would mean that it is your choice to leave or not and not to be stuck in the US if you don't want to because the father is stopping the baby from leaving with you? I'm totally not sure, but I would think that with an american dad and slovakian mum baby would have dual citizenship and not have to have father's permission to leave country? I agree with tallgirl, speak to a lawyer before you get much further along, in case you want to make th decision to fly out of the country. Good luck with your dicision, please let us know how you go and if you are ok...Take care...

 

Lexa - January 16

Ahoj Kristina, (my mum is actually Czech). Sorry to hear about your predicament. I do not live in The States myself but have been there enough to know they are very protective of their citizens and worst case scenario, you could be arrested for child abduction if you take your baby to Slovakia without the father's permission. If you want my advice: Make sure your baby gets Slovak nationality (check with your Emba__sy/Consulate in the US), and if at all possible, try and keep the father off the birth-certificate and do not use his last name. It's very harsh and radical, but if you are not sure what will happen, this is your safest bet. Hodne stesti!

 

kristina1980 - January 18

Ladies, thank you so much for your input. Today we had another big argument. we own 2 business as I mentioned, and only 3 people work. I, him, and another girl. I started my school, and the girl as well. I'm halfway done with my degree, and I know once the baby is born, I will take only online cla__ses so I can stay home. Today I said, that I am not going to work at least two months once the baby is born, because I don't trust anybody else to be with my baby. I was nanny for 2 years, and I know what I am talking about. kids need to be with parents. period. And my dear boyfriend called me totally stupid and selfish, and gave me advice to raise my child on my own. Some days are good, some days are hell. I'm trying not to stress, and relax, but it's hard. I definitely want to finish school one day, that was the reason why I stayed, and my dream, but I want to be a good mom as well. I need to find out wheter the US allows dual citizenship. I know Slovakia does. Thanks ladies.

 

volcomgurlie - January 20

I would go back to europe now

 

hello - January 22

Just go with the baby in your tummy and enjoy your flight to no abuse

 

aidenmom - January 26

As long as you haven't actually given birth yet, the baby isn't legally considered a person. Well, unless somebody murders you, cause I think then it's a double murder...but that's not what you're asking :) So you can go wherever you want. At least, anywhere that you are already legally allowed to go. I'd say just go back to Slovakia and have your baby. Then you can be with your family and when you're ready, you can come back. The father sounds immature and abusive. And no, abusive doesn't only mean he hits you...if he's going to get all "manly" on you and try to tell you how to raise your baby, a baby he says he doesn't even want any more...it sounds like he's not ready to be in a real adult relationship, much less be a father. Don't put up with it. There are plenty of other men, in America AND Slovakia, who you'd be much better off with. And even if there wasn't, you'd be better off as a single mom than with an abusive partner. Seriously...go buy a plane ticket and get out before you have the baby.

 

kristina1980 - January 27

Thanks ladies for your advise. I am going to consider few more things before I completely make my mind. I've already invested too much in college. I'll graduate probably in spring 2008. It's hard to get a job in Europe without degree, and the more American degree you have the better off you are. Me and the dad had "adult" discussion on raising our child. We still don't seem agree on too many things. However, he really cares about me having enough rest, healthy diet, exercise and stuff like that. I still couldn't find out how is it with dual citizenship. Any infos on that? It's not event on government website, or at least I can't find it.

 

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