He Left Me For My Old High School Friend

28 Replies
Stuck In The Middle - December 26

We have been married for almost 3 years and were planning to have a baby. We tried and tried for 5 months and finally I got pregnant. When I told him the wonderful news he got really upset and said he wanted a divorce! I could not understand why he wanted to split up especially since we were PLANNING this child. I asked him why he wants to split and he said that he was not ready for children and was glad that all those times we tried we were unsuccessfull! I waited a few days before bringing up the subject again, but got the same answer when I asked him about it. When I arrived home from the store the other day he was in OUR bed with my old BEST FRIEND from high school! I screamed at them both to get out. I don't know who I am mad at more but am very frustrated with the both of them. I don't know what to do now. I know that I should leave him but I am having his baby and I don't believe in abortion. Can you help me please?

 

Karrie - December 26

I don't know what all to say as far as advice other than if you have friends and /or family that you are close to explain your situation to them, and hopefully they will help you through this tough time. I wish you the best! Good luck.

 

strength101 - December 27

Why are you considering leaving your home? A home that could be yours and your childs. Let him leave and let him change his standard of living. You worry about your health and your unborn child. Only you and you alone know if the relationship is worth working on and if he is not 100% ready to salvage the marriage then you will run into the same problem again. I am thanjful that you have family and support. I have no doubt that you are cabable & will make it without him. Please don't allow him to take what you have worked together to obtain. Don't leave your home, remember he is the one who went outside of your marriage... something I say and others who post always say talk to to attorneys (it is a free phone call) & know your rights. Knowledge is power.

 

Stuck In The Middle - December 27

The Reason that I am moving out of the home and into my mothers is so that I can get the support that I need, and becuase it was his house and I moved in. I am not sure if I can try to fight for it or not...but I don't want to make things difficult...for him I do, but not any more difficult for me than they already are, stress and pregnancy don't match. According to this pregnancy book that I am reading. Well anyhow thanks for the advise everyone. bye.

 

Stength101 - December 28

Iagree, if it was his house prior do what is best. You know your situation better than anyone. Either way still speak to an attorney and know what your rights are. I too was worried about all the stress and what effects it may have on the baby & he said "there are mothers that are pregnant in the middle of a war country and it has been proven that these babies are born healthy". He said babies have more protection. It is ourselves that we need to take care of and worry about, the baby is well protected. I have never been high risk and throughout my pregnancy the baby has always been healthy and strong. My baby has a strong heart beat, very active, and has weighed more than avg. according to the Ultrasounds. Have faith and don't give up. Take control of the situation and don't allow the situation to control you. Best wishes and good luck.

 

Stuck In The Middle - December 29

Well it is official. I moved into my mothers home today. Jake tried to stop me and tried to say sorry for what he said and did, but since I was in tears and too upset to even TRY to reason with him I told him to F off and pushed him aside and walked out to the moving van. I left in the moving van and headed to my mothers witch is 2 towns away. I don't know how the whole divorece thing is going to go yet, but I am talking to an attorney tomorrow to get some more things done. Thanks again for you advice guys.

 

Leslie2005 - December 29

I think you did the right thing leaving your husband. You stood up to him and would not put with his c___p. Good for you and good luck with your little one!

 

strength101 - December 29

Stuck In the Middle - I am so sorry. I admire you for taking the steps to protect yourself and the baby. You are very fortunate to have a supportive family. You seem to have a strong back bone, not saying you don't hurt, but you holding up so well. Your baby will be blessed to have a mother with such strength. I will be thinking of you.

 

Stuck In The Middle - December 30

Strength101, thanks for your reply. I am surprised at myself that I have been this strong...I am doing it mainly for the baby, but for me too. I talked to that "old best friend" today and she tried to say sorry for "sleeping" with Jacob but I just told her that she used to be my friend and that I don't want her around me or my baby, and walked away. (We were at a local Mc.Donalds. I was getting my Fish Filet' I love those things...lol) She followed me out to the car and tried to stop me from getting in so that I could hear her out....well to make a long story short I now have a restraining order on her cause she followed me for about an hour that day trying to get me to hear her out. Even after I told her I was going to call the cops if she didn't stop following me, she chased me through the mall. I have my thanks and prayers for the security guy who stoped her when I explained my situation and pointed her out. He arrested her for harra__sment right there. Anyhow she is off my back and Jacob keeps calling my mothers trying to talk to me...my mom screamed at him. Anyway I will stop blabbering. Again thanks for all your support on here Strenth101, karrie, and Leslie2005, and to any future post.

 

Karrie - December 30

I am glad to hear/read that you are doing better. I wish you the best of luck for you and your baby. I hope that Jacob gets it through his head that he has lost something mighty special, (you and the baby) and that he should not have done what he did. Personally I did think that he was being a bit of a jerk...well from what you have said, anyhow...God bless you and may you and your baby always have loving support from friends and family and always be safe!

 

strength101 - December 30

Stuck In The Middle - You are doing what many people should have done from the beginning, take control and don't allow all the drama. You are squashing it off the top and that will make it easier in the long run. If you would have let it drag on and on your mind would be so caught up in his games and you would have been sorting through more than what you have to sort through now. I think you are an amazing woman for trying to handle things as well as you have through a very stressful time. Your child will be blessed to have you have as a mother, I can tell you will protect him/her in all ways. Your mom did a great job and is wonderful for providing you with such support. Okay - here is a question for you? I am due any time and i wnat a special name for my son (i see him as a special gift from God), but I have no idea. Any name ideas? I thought about Jayden..Jamison... ?????

 

Stuck In The Middle - January 1

To:Strength101, Thanks again for you kind words. I have a few suggestions...Issac - which means Laughter, Kevin - which means Hadsome Child, or Timothy - which means Honoring God. Hope this helps.

 

strength101 - January 2

Thank you for the names and meanings. The other day the father said, "don't name the baby after me". I laughed and just asked him if he was really that vein and stuck on himself, I had never thought about naming the baby after him. I told him I was stuck on what to name the baby and thanked him for the idea. Please talk with attorneys and know your rights, many of them will give you advice over the phone for free. I did that and truly everytime he says I am not going to do this or that, and don't expect this or that. I can sit in silence and calming say please do your best and don't become your own worst enemy. You see i know what I can do and it is far more than what I am asking so I allowed him to dig his own hole. I already have a court date set for this month. Did you know in some states you can sue the other individual involved for the breakup of your marriage? Should it come to that. Write down every question you can think of from the one mentioned above to support for your child through college (not eighteen). Ask about the home even though he owned it prior to marriage, you contributed financially and are pregnant with his child. there are so many things we sometimes did not know until after the fact such as can he made to carry a life insurance policy for the baby should anything happen to him, in addition to child support what about day care expenses, and wwhat about extra activities your amy become involved in (band, cheerleading cost money and adds up). It is just important to cover every area, you don't realize how much things add up to raise a child like school lunches and school supplies.... I am not trying scare you financially, as a mother you always find a way to provide, but if you cover all your grounds should you divorce at least you had knowledge of your what you are ent_tled to. Knowledge is power and can become a part of your strength. If you have any other ideas let me know my time is short, by the way Timothy is his brothers name. Thanks a million and stay strong.

 

Stuck In The Middle - January 6

To the last one that posted....This is true! I don't know what your problem is, but I just came on here for advice, not to be b___hed out by some person who does not even know me. So I suggest that YOU get a life, and go bother someone else who IS lieing. That "other woman" as you called her, is right now behind bars because she keeps trying to come near me and I have a restraining order one her a__s. I am normally not a b___h, but I think this is called for.....lol. Anyhow, I don't know you, and you don't know me, so there for you do NOT know that I am lieing. This is true! I don't lie!

 

strength101 - January 7

Continue to be strong and know that tere are people who can support you. maybe the individual who questioned you just has not experienced anything on the same level that are having to deal with, therefore they lack understanding some people bring drama to others. I had my baby and named him Jayden. I am so glad i like you handle things with a firm hand, i will go to court on the 14th, I had it set up prior to giving birth so i would have the court date immediately following birth. I instantly loved my baby with no regrets. GOOD LUCk and stay strong!!!!

 

Stuck In The Middle - January 8

Strength101 Congrats on having your baby! I bet he is an adorable little boy! You take good care of that gift from heaven and the big man above. I don't understand why so many people can be so cruel....especially simply because they don't understand what is going on, and are afraid of the situation. Well I just wanted to come on and see who responded since I did yesterday. So far everything is going well in my pregnancy though I am not too far along....I really do wish you the best with little Jayden. God Bless!

 

strength101 - January 8

It was a long 9 months and although I stayed strong and tried to be positive, there were many days i questioned myself and allowed him to make me 2 nd guess if I was doing the right thing. At one point during labor I had 1-2 min contractions (no medications) and they were coming steady and hard. I had tears the pain was unbearable and I remember thinking "I hate him for putting me through this pain". The moment they held my baby up and I had gone through this alone, my tears turned to joy. The best way I can say it is "I fell out of love and in love the same day", the care and time I gave his father now belongs to our son. He was served court papers last night at 1AM, i hope he had a good Friday night before they served him. I will see him in court on Friday the 14th with no regrets. If you ever need anything you can email me direct at [email protected] I saw on the 26th you said you were a month preg, shouldn't you be further?

 

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