HOW DO I TELL THEM

7 Replies
Danielle - January 22

Hi, I just found out I was pregnant about 2 weeks ago. Normally that would make me sooo happy but it's just that I'm in such a bad situation right now. The father of my baby is 31 and I'm 19. My parents are old fashioned and didn't even agree with me just hanging out with him. Plus they think that it's only ok to have a baby when a women is married. To make matters 50 times worse, he has a 7 month pregnant girlfriend. I never wanted to have s_x with him because he had a girlfriend but he was so far it and always saying how we should do it and one day we just did. My question is, how do I break that to my parents and my brothers? P.S. Please no rude comments I'm coming here for help and I've read some really hurtful comments that people make on here to some really nice people that just got themselves into a bad situation.

 

New Mexico - January 22

Pick the person that is your best friend. (blood relative or not) talk to them first. Then, if you have decided to give birth. Are you going to raise it or give it up for adoption?? These are questions you will have to answer with your family so, you should know what you are going to do.. Is the father of the child going to marry you?? Is he (or the court) going to give your child support?? P.S. just wondering.. Why do you think a 31 year old man is interested in a 19 year old girl.. Instead of someone his own age???? How old is the other pregnant girl?? Whatever, you decided you should go through it alone.. You will need loving support.. Just learn from this.. I wish you luck in this time of your life.. Take care

 

Danielle - January 22

Thanks for your response. I'm not sure if you'll ever read this but to answer your questions: Yes I am going to raise it, I think it would be too hard on me to give it up for adoption and I don't want to have an abortion. He's interested in me because we work together for 12 hours a day and that's how we met even. We're both people that don't really care about age and we're close friends. I've trusted him with many secrets over the time that I've known him and he has kept them and has never pa__sed judgement on me because of them. He won't marry me and I wouldn't want to marry him just because of a child. I haven't talked to him about child support yet but I will soon, I'm just giving him some time to think things through as his girlfriend is probably going to kick him out as soon as she finds out (he has to tell her before the end of Feb because that's when our job starts up again and I have to tell work everything as I can't stay in my current position while I'm pregnant.) His girlfriend is 23 years old. I can support my child and I have people around me that I know will help me. I just have to tell my parents before I can tell everybody else. I have already told a few close friends and they said that they'll help me out the best they can. Thanks again for your reply.

 

???? - January 25

I feel sorry for his girlfriend

 

jap05 - January 25

Danielle - I commend you on how you are trying to be honest and ask for honest advice. I also commend you on taking responsibility for your actions. Love your child with everything you have, time will answer and heal everything. Your parents may not accept the situation, but if they are good parents they will love and support you through the situation. If disappointment or hurtful words are expressed by them, except them and let them know you love them and hope that they will support you not the situation . There is no need for fighting, you have to take of your health and your unborn childs health. I am sure you are good individual and will do what is best for you and your baby. Good luck to you and your baby. You seem to have a good head on your shoulder despite your misjudgement. Stay strong and always believe in yourself.

 

m - January 25

you'll get through it and it is all worth it in the end when you fall in love with your baby. good-luck

 

Yesi - February 7

I am going through a very similar situation. I am 27 amd the baby's father is in his mid 40's. May not be a big deal for most people, but for my family it is. I talked to my sister and my aunt who are my biggest supporters. They are not as judgemental as most of my family. My mother is still upset.Hopefully she will get over it and show me some support. It is CRUCIAL that you have a support system. Surround yourself by POSITVE people. Take your time! Think before you talk. Let your family know that you want them to EMBRACE you even when they may not agree with your decision. It is a VERY DIFFICULT thing to say to them. But remind them that a child is a blessing. Make the best of this experience and BE WISE! Don't settle for less. Your PRIORITY is your CHILD.

 

Courtney - February 8

im kinda in the same thing i am 15 years with a 20 year old boyfriend i found out about a week ago i was gping to have a baby i was so scared to tell my parents i thought they would never talk to me again and i told them they were upset but not that msd at me rick is happy were having a baby and if u look on the bright side your bringing something new and beautiful into this world your parents more then likely love you alot and hunny they still will it may be hard for them to get it through there head in the end everything will be okay!

 

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