How Do You Get Over The Baby S Daddy

17 Replies
HaleyAthena - September 13

I'm 24 and 34 weeks pregnant. This preg was an accident and when i found out, my boyfriend and I had just tried to break up cause he couldn't "trust" me. Really its him that cannot be trusted. I have been through the longest emotional rollar coaster with him. He's been so controlling and verbally and mentally abusive and extremely destructive. He's a nightmare. But of course, he's got his charm with me and when everythings all good....he's the most tender and loving guy, but i know that he isn't going to change. For the first few months of the preg he did nothing but fight with me. Telling me that i did it on purpose to trap him (please, he is the last guy i would want to be my baby's father). He's made my pregnancy a living h__l. But these last several months he's been pretty good about it and is really excited about his little girl coming soon. However, he still gets so crazy and blames all kinds of shit on me and always has to make me seem like i'm the psycho one who has major issues and insecurity problems. Really its him and i feel deep in my gut that he gets around with other girls....he's a guy and a really fine ass guy on top of that. I know i can have my pick of the lot as well, but at 34 weeks preg, i'm not exactly feeling that confident and the last thing on my mind right now is going out and trying to hook up with some dude. I'm about to be a mom, i don't need another guy in my life right now. BUT HOW THE HELL DO I GET OVER THIS ONE!!!!??? I know he's no good for me and i know i'd live a life of h__l if i keep going back to him, so why is it so hard to just say "peace...i'm out"?

 

Trisha - September 13

Well I'm sort of in a way in the same situation. My boyfriend and I were together for 4 1/2 years. He cheated on me so we broke up six months later I slept with him and I got pregnant and I am 24and 5 months pregnant. He doesn't want a relationship with me anymore because he doesn't want to settle down and he just wants to be with his friends all the time, He's totally supportive and wants to be there for the baby but not emotionally for me. So screw him. Men are never going to grow up. He's 30 years and does not want to settle down how pathetic is that. The crazy thing is that he still wants to act like my boyfriend to his convience. Screw him. I just use him for all he has and that's it .That sounds horrible but he deserves it.

 

Katie - October 28

HI, I recently found out that I was pregnant. Myboyfriend and I are planning on getting our finances together and move into our own apartment. But for the mean time, I am living at home, which is fine with my parents, but if it was up to them, they would have me make the father give up his rights. He is not a bad guy at all, and is willing to do everything possible for this baby. My mom does not want to do anyhitng for me b/c she does not want to benefit him, and when she does, she says it gets "ruined" by that thought. We are going to be together and raise this baby together, will she ever accept him and realize that I need him there? and her too!

 

Angie - October 28

Oh child why do we do it? I have been trying to dump my baby's daddy since I found out! He is no good either. He has made my first pregnancy horrible for me! I finally found the strength to leave him. I think you eventually get to a point where enough is enough. I was finally fed up. I have started hating him little by little since he started hurting me. So that makes it easier to leave. Its to the point now where he makes me sick for what he has done to me. And he is fine as hell too so I know he probably won't waste anytime getting back out there and that makes me sick to my stomach. But...bottom line...I have someone more important to think about from now on. My baby!

 

k - October 29

You don't need a guy to get over another guy. It will just be a constant cycle.You need to be happy on your own first before you can truly be happy with someone else.

 

bmorebabe - October 31

My first babys father and I were toghther for over 4 years and we split up over 3 years ago and I am still not over him but I have been able to accept things being the way that they are and I am able to get on with my life with the beautiful daughter that he gave me. All I have to do is think about her and I can get through anything, and now I have another one on the way to think about too and I will make it by myself and so will you.

 

Dawn - November 3

Haley, I know exactly how you feel. I am in a similar situtation myself. I am 18 months pregnant and alone. I was with my guy for 7 months before I found out I was pregnant. He wanted me to get and abortion at first;but, I was not going to put myself through that. Well, he finally got over it, but he was still terribly scared. His friends kept saying, "How do you know that she didn't do it on purpose?" When he told me that, I went off on him. He was a loser that didn't have a job so why would I want to tie him down. He is a very good looking guy and the first one I ever loved. But he doesn't want to be with me. Which is confusing be cause he says he loves me. Well, I finally had to tell him off today. If he didn't want to be with me, then don't expect me to put out for him. He could go find some other cheap a__s. I am off limits. It is hard to get over a man you love. I am trying very hard but I still cry almost every day over it. The only thing I can say to you is, you gotta remember that your baby is number one. Plus, hit his sorry but up for child support. Be all Smiles.

 

Angel - November 4

Girl, girl, girl! Men have a different way of dealing with pregnancies. At first they are really scared and stupid! Not all but majority so get over what he said at the begining of your pregnancy. Now, if he is verbally abusive and mentally as well you gotta kick him to the curb! Your child doesn't need to grow up in that kind of enviroment. Let him be the father but you guys don't have to be together! HOW TO GET OVER HIM????????????? THINK ABOUT THIS BEAUTIFUL BLESSING THAT IS COMING INTO THE WORLD AND HOW YOU YOU WOULD HATE TO EXPOSE YOUR LITTLE GIRL TO THIS! Would you want the next man treating your daughter like that when she gets older? NO! sO KNOW THAT YOU ARE HER EXAMPLE!.....HOLLA BACK

 

To HaleyAthena - November 5

I really think if you told him to, "Get lost loser" would do the trick. If he still don't get it show him the door then open it.

 

dreamjewel - November 9

I am 22 and i have been with my fiance for almost 4 years now. we have a 2 year old litle girl. a few months ago we were fighting alot so we decided to just take some time apart, only a week after we separated he was screwing his cla__smate in a parking lot at a bar. i was overwhelmed and just wanted him back, 3 weeks ago i found out i was pregnant, now i am really confused bc i dont think i should have another child with him, he hurt this family enough and this only brings in another child for him to hurt. he is not abusive at all, he is just a PIG. he cheated on me before in the very begining of our relationship and i let that slide, but this time his excuse is--we were taking time apart and thats why he did it-- to top it all off this girl has no cla__s, and is nothing but trash. if he had at least been selective about it, i may have been able to accept it. he is excited about the baby bc i think he thinks it will trap me even more than he already has. the whole family already knows but i am actually thinking about abortion. so for all the girls in these situations we have to find a way to make ourselves less dependent on these d__n men.

 

Mel - November 24

I'm in a similar situation and it feels impossible. Wen mine is mean, hes cruel but wen hes not... like u say turns on the charm and he turns into an angel. But i know in the long run hes no good and by the sounds of it neither is yours. Just because we know its the best thing in the long run doesnt make it easier to do. Breaking up and seperating someone from your life is hard enough as it is let alone with a baby in the mix. I believe ill be stronger for me and my baby (wen she/he arrives) without him upsetting and confusing me at every corner. U and the baby are wots important. I wish u all the luck in the world. Think about u. X X

 

mufy - November 27

At least YOU didnt wait on the dog 14months while he is in jail had his baby![alone] for only 5 mnths of hopin to be a family . call me stupid cuz me an my baby are back at my moms like he never got out.He broke my heart and is a sorry dad

 

T - November 27

Well HayleAthena if I was you I would let him go it will be the best thing for you and your daughter. Don't keep letting him come back because it won't get better it will get worse believe me. I was in your situation I left my children's father 6 years later with 4 kids. Good Luck

 

Gisele - November 27

Im 20 and about 34 weeks also and can relate to the first posting,, i had been with my bf for about 4 years on and off, before i became pregnant things were fine, until i told him i was pg. He said he didnt want anymore kids, (he has a 7 year old), and so i was very upset u know cuz it wasnt 100% my fault, he too could of been "more careful". In the beginning all we did was argue about everything, and he would say it was me, that i would be moody and have an att_tute and that he coudlnt stand me cuz of that, and so i thought maybe it was true,, u know how they say that when ur pregnant you get mood swings, so i started being more careful with things i said u know, but i realized i wasnt even like that, that was just his excuse, its him thats always an a__s and snaps at everything. Like you said he can be verbally and mentally abusive but then again he can be the most sweetest, koolest guy with me. Just when ive had enough of his s#!T he does something that makes makes me want to keep hanging on to him. SO HOW DO WE GET OVER THESE GUYS??? hmmm i wouldnt know. He says he is like this cuz of the pregnancy?? Im like how?? But o well we're on good terms at the moment, im really excited about my little girl and so when he starts acting up i just ignore him.

 

Gisele - November 27

O yea, i can also relate to some of you on how their "ur bf at their convenience" meaning they are all nice to you trying to be with you when they wanna F#@K!,, but i dont give in anymore, i dont even like s_x at this point. Hes being very supportive about the baby and know he will be there for her cuz he is there for his other daughter, he helps me out financially and with everything else that has to do with the baby just not there for ME. but its all good.

 

arielle - September 11

girl, im having the same problem, me and my babydaddy been togeather 2 years and our daughter is one now, after the first year we been off and on we broke up in january got back togeather in may and we broke up again yesterday over his phone and today he came over and he still love me but im tired of taking him back i wanna just stop loving that fool

 

Tonia - September 17

My daughter is 14 months old, I know her father isn't right for me, but a part of me wants the perfect family, although that will never happen now, I'm pregnant again, and its a different guy's. My daughter's father and I have been dating on and off since my sophmore year of high school, so for the last 4 years, I got pregnant my senior year and had her shortly after graduation. I know part of me will always love him, which drives me crazy and makes me keep going back to him/ taking him back. Honestly will this ever end?

 

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