How To Decide

4 Replies
Liz - March 10

I am 26 years old and found out I was pregnant yesterday. Feelings a joy and fear rushed through my body. My boyfriend and i of three years split a month ago. We have still remained close friends because we realized that we were important people in each others lives. I told him last night i was pregnant and he absolutely freaked out. The first words out of his mouth were "Get rid of it". He then proceeded to inform me that if i have the baby he will absolutely have nothing to do with me. I saw a completely different side to him last night than i have ever known. He continuously insulted me and tried in every way to make me feel as bad as i could. He told me if i had the baby i would be ruining his life. What do i do? I was planning on going back to graduate school in the fall to advance my career, but now all i can think about is having a baby. How do you decide what is the best decision for the baby? How do you know whether you are able to care for a baby by yourself or terminate the pregnancy. I need help!

 

#2 - March 10

As I was reading through the other questions, I came across an answer that made me feel much stronger. The person wrote..GOD WOULD NOT GIVE US WHAT WE COULDN'T HANDLE. I am beginning to realize that men are much weaker emotionally than women and that they act on impulse. Your ex may very well regret what he said and may just be scared. It is so hard to have an unplanned pregnancy. I know, this is my second. But only you can decide whether you want to put your life on hold for the baby. He cannot decide that for you. You may make a huge mistake if you listen to somebody elses' heart and not your own. I have attempted school twice, still not complete...but I don't regret one decision I have made. (A little confused but no regrets) I love my daughter with all my heart and know I will love this baby too!!

 

Sarah - March 10

Liz, I dont have an answer for you, I have not been in your position before, but all I can say is hang in there. No matter what decision you make, you need to do it for you. My thoughts would be if maybe you know someone who had a pregnancy termination ( as in similar circ_mstances to your own) and someone who kept the baby. Id sit down and chat with them and just get as much information as possible. But please please please dont let anyone pressure you into making a decision you dont want to make. At the end of the day, this has to sit right with you. Good luck with it sweet, you are in my prayers

 

nicole - March 15

Hey Liz, I'm sorta in your situation too, however, my boyfriend and I are still together, so far. He immediately asked me to get rid of it too, but I have always been against abortion and thought it would really haunt me to handle the situation that way. I also was planning to begin law school next fall, and even have a full scholarship to a school (that happens to be 2000 miles from my family and friends). I am really scared and wonder if my family will be at all supportive ( I haven't found the strength to tell them yet). I lay awake at night and wonder if I'm ruining my life, or if my boyfriend thinks I'm ruining his by deciding to keep the baby. I wonder about all the things I wanted to do that I may not have the chance to do, and I wonder about how disappointed my family will be. I know this probably isn't a help to you, but I wanted to let you know that you're not the only one, it helped to read your post and know that I was not alone. I think if you have a supportive family and/or group of friends you should keep your baby, after all it is a gift from God that many people never have the chance to receive, however if you don't have the necessary support, there are always other options that may be more reasonable. If you will be completely alone, I think it will be hard, financially and emotionally, to adequately raise a child. I worry about what will happen if my boyfriend chooses to leave me as well. If you want someone to keep in touch with just to chat or offer some support, let me know!

 

Kay - March 15

If you want to talk I will be a friend [email protected] best wishes whatever happens.

 

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