How Will I Get Through This

3 Replies
Jen - November 24

I am 34 weeks pregnant. When I became pregnant I found out 2 weeks later that my fiance was "emotionally"cheating on me. I decided to give him another chance (very unlike me) but I had a baby to think about and wanted her to have her parents together. Last month I caught him again, with the same girl, a full fledged affair. He wants every part of his daughter's life and is happy about her coming. My issue is this...How do I get over someone that I have to deal with for the next 18 years? No matter how much I hate what has happened, this was a four year relationship that was my fairy tale. I read all of these letters about how horrible it is to not have the Dad around and I feel opposite. I wont take him away from his daughter because thats not right. I just do not know how to deal with seeing him everyday once she is born. I can take this one day at a time, as I am doing and hope for the best but sometimes that just doesnt seem like enough.

 

Greta - November 24

There aren't any faerie tales. You are not Cinderella, nor Snow White. There isn't a prince charming to set you free. Your man wants to be part of your daughters life...... Have you been reading this board? Do you notice a trend with the women whose men just walk away from their own children? The next 18 years????? Hello! Its more like the rest of your life. Be more specific about what you want and tell him. At least he's there for you to talk to. My ex is M.I.A....

 

Holly - November 29

I have just had something similar happened to me. I just asked hin to leave and I am going crazy.I am 22 weeks pregnant and also we have a 4 year old. I can't sleep or eat and dont trust a thing he says.I am 30 and this girl is 23 He met her on a job and kept in contact for a month. I found out and he promised it was over 3 weeks later I got him out for a drink with the same girl. She is applying for a job in our town.He says he wants to be there for the kids but can't even commit to not talking to her . We are married and he is supposed to be committed to me.I am totally lost and not sure why I still even want to be with such a jerk.He is out having drinks every night doing who knows what why I try to make sure this is not hurting our daughter.I am insecure getting fatter and feeling awful how have you dealt with it.

 

Jen - November 30

Holly I feel your pain...I know how it feels to be treated like this. I have come to the conclusion that I'm not going to let him treat me that way. Dont let your husband do this to you. He has no respect for you or your feelings. He cant promise not to talk to her? Kick him out , get a PI and take him for everything he has got. If he is doing this to you now, he will surely do it again. You cant live your life looking over your shoulder everyday. I lived like that, it was miserable. Once the trust is gone...its gone. I know that you dont see it now, but you and your baby will be fine without him. This is what I have learned...while you sit there feeling miserable, sorry for yourself, and all alone...he is out there having drinks, living it up, and NOT thinking about you. My ex makes it easy to get through every day because he just does something else to make me dislike him even more. Dont get me wrong, i love him, but the love will fade. Why do I want somebody that doesn't want me? I'm too good for that. I've got too much love and dedication to waiste on him. Until then, I am alone , 35 weeks pregnant, and am looking forward to my little girl because she will give me the unconditional love that I search for. Its not easy and I need someone to preach to me like this every once in awhile...but I get through it day by day. Dont let him walk all over you...If you ever need to vent write to [email protected] Hang in there...its GOT to get better!! (atleast thats what they say anyway) :)

 

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