Hurt And A Bit Confused

5 Replies
hmarierose - February 7

i know the hurt feeling are mainly a bruised ego. i brought this on myself. i'd been casually seeing the farther of my baby for about four months before i found out i was pregnant. the thing is...we had talked about stopping seeing one another seeing as we were considering moving in as roommates with another friend of mine. we had never actually stopped though. two weeks...he met somebody else and had been planning on dating her had committed to her. all within the two weeks that we had discussed us breaking up. so i tell him i'm pregnant and he tells me oh i've started seeing somebody new.... i'm just floored that a two week infactuation took priority over giving us a serious second chance. its been just about 6weeks now... and he's been all over the map... one day its not really working between them...they've never been able to get back to where they were...and the next they're in love... and he's committed to working things out with her... but i guess on the positive side he's promising to be there the entire time...oh yea to be there is just touching base once a week... i'm just having a brain block here it doesn't make since in my mind... how he can want to purposely miss out on the next 7 months... well i guess i'll see what i see... time will tell... but for now it sucks...


COLLEEN084 - February 12

Oh sweetie! First of all, if he's already having issues trying to get back "where they were" in only 6 weeks...that relationship is going NOWHERE. Period. It's a terrible shame he is using her and their relationship to cover up his insecurities about having a child. But you have to know that that is all it is. A cover up, so he doesn't have to really discuss arrangements with you. Please, give him his space and start making living arrangements on your own or with family. He sounds very unreliable. And if he will change his tune, he will be the one to confront you and not the other way around. Hope this helps. It's comin from a loving place and from someone in nearly the exact same situation: I dated the father for about 4 months when he just flaked out on me. When I told him I was pregnant he said he never loved me and that he couldn't be there for me if I chose to parent our child. Since then, I've gotten letters in the mail and phone calls from his family pressuring me hardcore to adopt. I refuse to let he or his family get the best of me. Both he and your ex are spineless losers, I just hope that your situation doesn't stay like mine and that your ex comes around. Best of luck.


Teddyfinch - February 13

hmm, i think i see why you hate adoption so much, colleen. i get it now.


COLLEEN084 - February 13

Teddyfinch, I'm sure its not just me. Single pregnant women get pressured to adopt from the father, from their family, from the father's family, from invested parties, it comes from all over the place. Pressure pressure pressure at the worst possible time. I REALLY really appreciate you taking the time to actually read my post and sort of understand where I could be coming from. I'm sure a lot of other women feel the same. And if it's not pressure to adopt, its pressure to abort. Tough stuff when you're highly emotional and carrying a baby. Thanks for understanding tho


Teddyfinch - February 14

colleen: you are grouping single women into a stereotype that simply isn't true. not all single women are lost and pregnant and "omg why did i do this?". you can not push personal experiences down people's throats. i'm married. i've been married twice now. dh and i are ready to start a family and i get pressure from both my parents, my inlaws, my siblings, friends to not have a baby yet because i'm still "so young" and should live first. single people aren't the only people in this world with problems, i'm sorry. i understand that people pushing their views down your throat is a pain, but don't a__sume that is what everyone is doing. my daddy always taught me an att_tude to have and it's worked pretty well for me. if you don't like the way someone is acting towards you "F*** em and the horse they rode in on". there's no need to attack anyone when they haven't done anything to you. rachel wasn't talking to you, unless you were going to give your baby up for adoption. however, i do understand the frustration. i just don't let everything everyone says get to me i suppose.


COLLEEN084 - February 15

i'm done arguing. period. i don't want that to be what this forum is about for me. i just came on it a few days ago and apparantly from the lack of empathy i'm receiving it was wrong of me to a__sume anyones had a similar experience to mine.



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