I M Pregnant And Boyfriend Of 2 Years Wants An Abortion

5 Replies
Avery - May 23

I recently found out I was pregnant. I told him about it and he said that I should have abortion. He says that if I choose to keep the baby he will leave. He still wants to be in the baby's life but not with me. He will stay with me though if I have an abortion. Whats worse is that we always talked about abortions and he says that any woman to have an abortion should never be able to have kids again. I love him alot, and he tells me that if I have an abortion now then we can get married and have more kids later. I already have 2 kids from a previous relationship that he takes care of, but he doesn't want his own right now. I think that he just afraid that the baby will take away from what he has. He doesn't have a job and hasn't for 2 years. I am scared to death and don't know what to do. I can't live with myself if I have an abortion, and I certainly feel as though I can't live without him. Please help I don't know what to do?

 

April - May 23

Definately DON'T have an abortion. You don't sound like you want one, so you definately shouldn't have one. You will regret it for the rest of your life. I say just continue on with the pregnancy. Your boyfriend will eventually get used to the idea of having his own child (even if it's out of wedlock). He's probably just in a bit of shock right now. He seems like a generally good guy though. I think he sounds like he's worried about what people will think if he has a child out of wedlock (based on what he said about having kids after you guys are married). He will realize though, that unmarried parents are becoming more and more common and nobody really cares anymore. I'm a firm believer that everything works out for the best no matter what happens. So even if he DOES leave... you'll find someone even better. I'm sure of that. Don't make yourself think that you can't live without him, cause honey... you can! Life goes on no matter what. Just take care of yourself and that baby!

 

Julie - May 26

Hey, my xbf wont even talk to me after I told him that I might be pregnant and I would not get an abortion. It's sad and I love him so much, but I couldn't have lived with myself if I killed my baby. That's just how I see it. I'm 30 weeks now and I feel him/my baby moving all the time and I am so happy that I have him. There's no guarantee that your bf will stay with you if you have an abortion. If he doesn't then you will be left to experience the trauma by youself. I've thought about all of this. I've seen too many people who had abortions years ago and are still suffering emotional side effects. I think my xbf feels that I chose my baby over him, but that's not how I felt. I love him, that's why I couldn't destroy someone that was part of him. I wish you well, I know you're in a very difficult time right now.

 

ellie - May 29

sweetie, tell him to go and GET F*****!! this baby is your first responsibility now, you are its mommy and it needs you to choose it over that self centred a__s hole you call your boyfriend. i promise you, if you have this abortion, it will never be the same again. how are you meant to marry and be with the guy who made you kill your child. he will get over it, and i know he will regret it too if you have an abortion. he is just scared. in my experience, my boyfriend told me that if i didnt have an aboortion he would leave me, and he would get his friends to bash me up so i would lose the baby anyway. but i didnt have an abortion. i had a misscarraige, and when i told him he cried. he was so upset that his baby had died. imagine how he would have felt if we killed it. i a__sure you, he is just running scared. he will thank you for it. and if he doesnt, he can go and get F***** becos this is your baby your talkin about here. this baby should mean more to you than a man who says he will leave you just because you got pregnant. wat an a__s hole.

 

Been There, Done That - June 7

Don't have an abortion if you are against it! If your boyfriend leaves you, he's obviously not worth hanging on to. Get a grip! Please think about adoption. Being a single-parent of 3 kids and different dads is not in the best interest of your children or you. If you absolutely cannot give your child up for adoption, then raise the child yourself. However, please get your tubes tied or something.

 

Jessica - June 12

First, you need to calm down and take a deep breath. I feel exactly how you feel right now. My boyfriend of 8 months has two children and I am expecting. It was an accident that I got pregnant and he wants an abortion as well. I told him that I could never live with myself doing that and that if he really loved me he would see that we could work through this and be stronger together. He too, told me that if I didn't get an abortion I would not be able to be a part of his life anymore. I feel torn too, because I want kids of my own and do not want to raise other people's children my whole life. I love his children and treat them as they were my own, but I would like one of my own too. The best thing I can tell you to tell him is, "I love you very much, but I will not kill a part of myself as well as you, to make you happy. If you loving e is dependant on whether or not we bring a child into this world, then it's not really love." Give him some time and he will come around. He is just scared right now. If you show him that you are strong enough to leave him if that is what has to happen, he may realize how selfish he is being in asking you to end the life of your child in the first place. Stay strong.

 

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