Im Lonely And Need Support I Just Don T Know What To Do

4 Replies
ShaunaLaine - March 19

Today I'm 6 weeks pregnant and left the father to be. We've been together about 2 years married for 4 months. I left him today when he said he'd kick my stomach. We were staying at his parents house cause he doesn't have a job, car, or a place of his own. He's been abusive in the past and doesn't ever seem to care about my feelings. I thought things would be different once I was pregnant but they didn't change much. He didn't bother to look for a job he just questioned all the time if the baby was his. Now I'm staying with my sister and her fiance. I feel so lonely and depressed even though i'm in a better enviroment. I just don't know what the h__l to do from here. I know I have 7 months to figure it out but that will fly by fast. Please help me out on what to do next. Thanks. -Shauna Laine

 

MelissaP - March 19

I'm so sorry that you are in this awful situation! You need to keep away from this abuser and get a restraining order against him if need be..(and divorce the loser!!). You also need to file child support against him in the future so he will be forced to help you once the baby comes.Research government a__sistance in your area and take advantage of everything you can: Wic, food stamps, welfare, and health insurance to see what applies to you. You can make it on your own without this creep! You should even think about going back to school, if you haven't already and get into a program where you can start a career that will support you and your baby. You will most likely qualify for financial aide and once the baby is born you can get daycare a__sistance. Make a plan for yourself girl, you can do it!..=) And be sure to surround yourself with family and friends because you are going to need a good support system. Take care

 

jg - March 19

You have shown strength by getting out of an abusive situation and both you and your baby will benefit. Do all that MelissaP said, as you need to keep busy and get your life sorted out in a new direction. Going to school and taking part in parenting programs are great ideas as you will get to meet lots of people and get support from other mums-to-be. Good luck hope it all works out okay for you.

 

ash2 - March 19

im so glad that you are putting you and the baby first by moving out. that shows you are going to be a very good mother. you can do it! there is plenty of government a__sistance out there that is willing to help you. stay away from that creep and get yourself real man that will take care of you and your baby... good luck

 

Zim - March 21

Well ShaunaLaine...you did the right thing by leaving. Now, get ready to give the guy an ultimatum. Either he gets anger management counselling and a job or you're filing for a divorce. No two ways about it. Do not, Do Not, DO NOT, buy into the "I'm sorry, it'll never happen again" thing. It will. If he chooses counselling, make him complete it before you even think of moving back in. And if he doesn't want to go, you're really not losing much. Don't try to support him, you and a child. He's a big boy, he needs to work, and if he refuses, that's one less mouth to feed and clean up after. I know I sound cold hearted, but I have been there. No child ever deserves a childhood in which it is okay to see Mom get hit. Do you want your daughter thinking it's okay to get beat up by a man? Do you want you son hitting his wife? Break that cycle right now. I was 18, my daughter 1 and I left. You can and will survive without him. If you're not working, get a job. It'll give you something to do other than brood. If you are working, pay yourself 10% first for savings for when you baby arrives. Even $100 a month ($25 a week...$3.50 a day) gives you $700 to use for bills, baby stuff, whatever you might need when the time comes. Plus, that growing balance will make you feel good. Ask for help from family and friends. You did great reaching out here, but reach out too, to the ones that can hug you, tell you you're loved, and help dry any tears. No one knows you need help unless you ask for it. ShaunaLaine, I wish you the best of luck and happiness. Regards, Zim *32, single mother of a 14 yo, and due again in April*

 

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