Left All Alone Need Advice

17 Replies
dee - April 2

i am so confused, i am 7wks pregnant, my boyfriend has a 5month old, always accused him of being w/ his ex he said no. now i tell him i pregnant he wants to have nothing to do w/me saying it's not his, how could he do this to ? what should i do should i even call? i am terrifed to tell my parents, i live w/ my sister who is a single parent . i see how hard it is iam so scared and depressed?? any advice out the

 

Audrey - April 5

Dee- It sounds like your bf is cheating both ways and you're better off without his selfishness. You can convince him that the baby is his by getting a DNA test once it is born, but that probably won't make him any more responsible. You do have choices as to what you want to do, whether it involves abortion/adoption/keeping. Best of luck!

 

Jil - April 5

Don't worry who you are going to tell right now, what's important is you and your baby, do you even want to have it, the emotional stress you are feeling now, believe me could get a lot worse if you have an abortion. I hate to say it but it does sound like he was cheating on you, sounds like he wanted to be the father to his other child and enjoy a relationship with his x and have you on the side, but now since you are preg, it would mean that his life just got complicated because it would be too much on him to deal with two children and their moms, he's seeing the consequences of his actions, If you love him and think he will turn then give it time, but please don't let him talk you into giving up the child, just so you can stay with him, because there are no guarantees that he will stay. 7 weeks is still very early, you have a lot time to get your life in order and make some personal changes for the better, i was two months when I made a major move in my life but it is what I needed to do to make sure i could make money to support my self and my child, also during the second trimester, most of the time the 1st trimester symptoms go away and you feel a lot better, this is a great time to make changes, travel, or move

 

Ang - May 3

ur boyfriend sounds like a loser. I have had 3 abortions and it was right for me do what you feel is right for you get rid of this pig you call a boyfriend he obviously has no respect for you

 

Anne - May 3

Hello Dee, I am sorry to hear about your situation. Jil is right, you do have plenty of time to get things in order for yourself but I understand that probably doesn't make it any easier. Dee, if you ever decide that adoption may be the best choice for you, please get in touch with me so that we can talk. My husband and I are hoping to adopt as we are unable to concieve. I have an adoption profile as well as photo pages if you are interested someday in knowing more about us. Take your time, make the decision you feel most comfortable with. Keep us in mind if the adoption route may be of interest to you. My email is [email protected] I hope everything works out for you.

 

LonelyTXn - June 4

I'm going through something like it. It is difficult to be pregnant and without the father. You will go through lots of mixed emotions. Do whatever is best for you. Forget about him. Deal with proving it's his after the baby is born. Or if you consider an abortion than do it. Whatever you do you must think about it. Do what is best for you and forget the world. I decided to keep my baby, I just couldn't bare not having it. But it is difficult because it's part his and you go through all this different feelings, anger, hate, disbelieve, you love him and can't believe he doesn't love you etc... It's not easy but at the end I thought it would be worth it. My baby was worth it. It wasn't his fault and I am woman enough to support him myself. I also saw it as being responsible for my actions. It was not planned but when you have intercourse anything can happen and you must be responsible and deal with it. But again do what is best for you. Here is my email if you want someone to "listen" to you. I'm not pro-abortion or adoption. I'm just a woman who doesn't judge others and deals with life. Do what is right for you. Adoption or abortion were just not the right solutions for me. I am not against either. They were just not the right thing for me at this phase of my life. Here is my email if you need someone to "chat" with [email protected]

 

vivian - June 29

I to went through the same thing, I dated this man for almost 4 years not knowing that he was married. He left me high and dry but GOD brought me through it ok. My son now is 4years orld and very happy, sometimes things happen for a reason. I asked God why me? He spoke to me and let me know that I need to help somebody else.

 

Sydney - June 29

Hey Dee...I'm right there with ya! I am 15 weeks pregnant with no mental, emotional, or physical support from the father. It has definately been depressing for me also...I am 21 & feel WAY young to be having a child...i look at al my friends who all go out & enjoy being young.....it's definately a whole new lifestyle. Want to know what tho? As time has pa__sed, i dont regret keeping this child one bit! It isnt the best time it could have happened, nor is it the best situation--however, i truly believe things happen for a reason & that everything will work out the way its supposed to. You will be such a bigger person if you have this child. It will be a blessing, no matter how hard. I wouldnt stress over your ex b/c either he will come around or he wont...my advice to you is to forget him for now & focus on you & that baby. There will be some lonley nights.....but in the end everything will be ok & worth it!

 

Dee - June 30

Sydney and everyone out there thank-u somuch for the inspirational advice, i am now 20wks preg and so excited, the father does not call and is not at all involved, however my family is so close and r supporting me in everyway, although i still get depressed and sad feeling i am too young and seeing all my friends going out. i konw that in the end i will be happy

 

JUST WONDERING - July 1

TO ANG- I AM NOT HERE TO JUDGE ANYONE I HAVE HAD AN ABORTION MYSELF, BUT 3? ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO BIRTH CONTROL? HOW COULD YOU KEEP GOING THROUGH THAT. I AM NOW PREGNANT AGAIN AND I AM SO HAPPY I THOUGHT GOD WOULD PUNISH ME FOR HAVING THE ABORTION FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

 

spreadingtheword - July 2

to "just wondering" God would never punish you for your wrong doing. as long as you are truly sorry, he has forgiven you. You have not forgiven yourself which is so wrong.Do not second guess his forgiveness. He loves you, he died for you . Good luck with your pregnancy. Peace

 

Sydney - July 8

Hey Dee! Wow 20 weeks already! you are ahead of me! I guess I didnt read the date your entry was posted! I am so happy for you! Have you found out if it is a baby girl or boy yet? I find out in 2 weeks....i'm very anxious.......& hey.....I havent heard from my "baby daddy" (haha sorry I know it's just horrid, but I just had to use that phrase) doesnt ever call either. Believe me, I have my LONLEY nights too, it's no fun! I think we will both be ok though ;)

 

dee - July 9

hey sydney, i hope everything is going well? I am having a boy!! so excited, and yes iam still in the same situation no baby's daddy, but u know what there is no drama either, take care wishing u all the best.

 

Sydney - July 9

Hey dee. Yep, things seem to be going very well. I got my blood test results back a couple days ago & everything was reported to be normal. I guess that isnt 100%, but atleast its' some comfort. I am hoping for a girl......but if it's a boy I want to know to prepare myself so I can be excited about that. I guess the most important thing is that it is just healthy! And hey, I havent experienced any drama either....just lonley not having that extra significant other there for support, ya kno? maybe things will work out. Im sure after we have our children we would have not wanted it any other way! How accurate were your ultra sound results? My doctor told me that usually they will tell you at what percentage they are certain. Also, have you or anyone else on here tried out the DOPPLER's at walmart? detecting heart beat, etc...I bought it but now im thinking of taking it back-the instructions seem frustrating....

 

Dee - July 10

sydney , i have not tried a doppler out. ithink it would be interesting! my u/s is pretty acurate as far as the gender. however it did not go by a % . i am alos feeling lonley but i have good friends and family around, when are u due, how many wks r u.

 

sydney - July 10

I am at week 16-according to how the doctor describes it. I will be beginning week 17 on Tuesday. When people ask I say four months....My due date is December 20th. Yours? And hey where abouts are you from? I'm from Tennessee...Nashville area. I have great family support as well. As for the few friends I've actually told about my pregnancy, they are supportive also. I have been trying to keep it on the DL, though it has circulated around...It wasnt a planned pregnancy & the as we've discussed, it wasnt 'with' anyone I will ever be with in the future. SO, still being in college....my last year at that...it has made it a little more difficult to tell people. How old are you? How old is your sister?

 

dee - July 11

I as well am keeping it on the DL however it is getting tricky, i am 1 wk over 5mth. I am 24 turning 25 my sister is 1 yr ahead and her beautiful daughter my niece is 4yrs old. I am due Nov.9th. i actually live in canada

 

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