My Husband Left Me After Finding Out I Was Pregnant

56 Replies
ella - September 8

We just got married 4 months ago. It was a fairytale relationship.....and a magical wedding. Since we returned from the honeymoon, he has been less loving....we have not been getting along beacuse of his lack of affection. Its been hard for me. We VERY rarely had intercourse, but I got pregnant on one of the times we did! I was happy...he got distant....one week after discovering I was pregnant, he filed divorce papers. They arrived via messenger while he was on a business trip. Very shocking. Its been almost 3 weeks now, and I dont know what to do. Ive always wanted to be pregnant (Im 39 next week) and I am having the baby (of course) but he has made no contact with me. Im scared that I might miscarry with all of the emotional stress, and Im so nervous to start legal proceedings.

 

SaRaH - August 4

I am SOOOOOOO sorry to hear this! I hope that you are blessed with a healthy beautiful baby that will love you forever!!! :)

 

Rose - August 6

I wish I could hug you and tell you its going to be okay. it will. I am a 28 year old sinlge working mother to be and sometime I get scared of th efact that I will be alone at the end but I wont cause I have beutiful baby girl on the way. Please dont be sad, its hard but in the end you have something better than a man you cant face responsibility. ~Rose

 

Jennifer - August 8

ella, i am so sorry. i am writing to you to let you know that i too have had my boyfriend leave me, after he found out I was pregnant. I was really worried too about miscarriage, but I was a__sured that no amount of stress will do this. I recently went on Zoloft, and although I am holistic and don't like drugs in general, I have to say it has given me a new outlook. hang in there!

 

ella - August 14

I'm going thru a similar situation. I am almost 5 mos pregnant, and my long term boyfriend has left me for another woman. I am 38 years old and never quite pictured it to be this way. I have gone thru so much stress with all of this, at one time I thought I was going into false labor. Two weeks ago I realized that this baby is too important for me to let "him" come in and disrupt my life whenever he felt like it. It has been awful, as I am sure it is for you. I miss him terribly, even though I know it is never going to be. Every time I look at my belly, I realize that I have the best gift in the world, but I am scared to death about being alone. But ultimately, I know that I have to make some decisions, because I cannot keep stressing over this man and what happened. You, also, know what you have to do. I wish you nothing but the best. DQ

 

Tasha - September 6

I am 19 years old, and 22 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend who was my first love, my first everything left me not when I told him that I was pregnant. But when I told him that I would not have an abortion. He tried and tried and tried to get me to have an abortion by telling me that it will ruin his life, he will kill himself, and that we wont be together if I keep the baby. When he knew it was too late to have an abortion.... he broke up with me and started saying the baby isn't his and I was cheating on him. It is has been very hard. The support of the family means a lot. If you have someone that you can talk to, even if you dont really feel like talking...it helps, just knowing that someone is there. Honestly, I would rather be in your postion than mine, because my ex will not stop calling me and harra__sing me and telling me I am going to be a horrible mother. I wish he wouldn't contact me at all. I don't need him. And you don't need your ex either. Just stay strong!

 

Shell - September 7

Hello. I just read this. I do pray for you. I know it is hard, I am pregnant two and my boyfriend left me as soon as I found out. I can not imagine it. I live day by day, and I have come to peace with the situation. At times I am scared and lonely. I never thought I would be doing this alone, and I too worry about the stress. I hope to find other out there that would like to talk about this. There are not many books on single women and pregancy. All the books I read say partner and husband in them. I am sure you know what I mean. I have found a few single mothers who are and went through the same thing. If you want to talk of need anything email me [email protected] We need to stay strong. Instead of wishing away 9 months of pregnancy, cherish every moment and realize that the wonderment growing inside or us is the only chance in life to a__sit God in a miracle. Bless all, Shell M. Sacramento, CA

 

Tom - September 8

Hire a good attorney, discuss your concerns and worries with him/her. Instruct your attorney to clean out your soon to be ex and to keep your participation in the proceedings to a minimum. While you do have more important things to deal with, your hubby is obviously an a-hole so make him pay! Attorneys love cases like this. What judge wouldn't make the father give up the farm for ditching his wife who is one month pregnant? These type of cases might even be able to get a pre-nup thrown out! You've got nothing more to lose and everything to gain.

 

Tom & Jeanette - September 8

Hire a good attorney, discuss your concerns and worries with him/her. Instruct your attorney to clean out your soon to be ex and to keep your participation in the proceedings to a minimum. While you do have more important things to deal with, your hubby is obviously an a-hole so make him pay! Attorneys love cases like this. What judge wouldn't make the father give up the farm for ditching his wife who is one month pregnant? These type of cases might even be able to get a pre-nup thrown out! You've got nothing more to lose and everything to gain.

 

kathleen - September 18

I am 37 and my live in boyfriend left me 5 months pregnant. I am devastated and its so nice to read what you guys write. I am not going after the father for child support as I just want him out of my life . He keeps popping in to pick up things he left and last night brough t 2 of his moroccan friends ( hes moroccan) and I felt so humiliated by them being here. He lies to everyone. He wont tel his family we are having a baby and my self esteem has crashed. Here is my email if any of you dumped pregnant women wanna talk [email protected] I m having chest pains and horible feelings of isolationa sn lonliess. My heart keeps seizing and stopping and.. I just feel devastated. Plus I had two adverse tests for downs and I really am going through this all alone. Its horrble. I m still waiting on results frm the amnio

 

Shorty - September 20

Hang in there girly! Dont let this affect you and your bub!-(and yeah I know that it is easily said then done) but obviously this guy has not a brain in his head.... I am just really sad that you seemed so happy, and then it all went a__s up. You dont deserve that! How far along are you? Is there any way to put a hold on the legal proceedings until you have the baby, just so you are not carrying to much on your plate?!?! I would go see a councellor ( just to vent and unload) and get into some prenatal care ASAP!!! You are worth more than this and you WILL get thru it!! FIGHT IT!!!

 

Jibran - September 21

i m really sorry to hear this,,,,,,,hope tht ur baby is alright and if u dont mind will u marry wid [email protected] me as soon as possible...wid ur details

 

Erica - September 27

I wish I could hug you too....I am in the same situation and I cannot believe there are so many men who act like children when it comes time to be responsible for their actions and step up to the plate. Women have less choice as we are the ones who have the babies! My 47 year old boyfriend claimed that he "thought he loved me but didn't want to move in with me when the baby comes in february....he said he wasn't ready". My thought is that he was "ready to get me pregnant knowing I wasn't on the pill". Now just 2 days after he says he thinks he loves me, we fight and he tells me he knows I am not the right person for him. Glad to see he is so honest with me! What a liar! Anyways, thought i would let you know that you are not alone

 

2 Ella - September 28

Get a divorce and get EVERYTHING from him, then sue the woman he is now seeing. YOU WILL WIN...even though it wont make up for everything at least you will have a healthy baby and everything else you didnt really need. GOOD LUCK!

 

Gayle - September 30

The same happened to me ella. I've been married 3 yrs and we've actually been trying for a baby for over 6 months - when it finally did happen (just over a week ago) he left me the same night after saying some awful things. I'm starting the legal proceedings and am d__n sure I'm going to change my name before the baby comes - I won't let him have anything to do with it or me after what he's done! Just remember there's someone more important who needs you now.

 

Hazel - September 30

Me 2. Where do all these guys come from. Mine says he will leave if i don't terminate.....I'm 16 weeks. He says I will ruin his life and that I am not considering his feelings. Did he consider mine when he was having an affair with an old school pal????? Does he consider my feelings when he invites his daughter to stay and leaves her with me the whole time?? And how about the 2 or 3 nights a week when he doesn't come home, doesn't ring to let me know and waits until i'm at work until he re-appears, expecting me to forgive him - after all he will do as he wants, when he wants, with who he wants - it apparently has nothing to do with me, I'm NOT his mother ????????????? Sorry to sound so sarcastic, i am actually quite scared him and what he will do when he realizes that it's too late for a termination and he must decided whether he is leaving......At least it's my house, he couldn't commit to doing that with me either.

 

Kris - October 1

Ella, I feel for you more then you will ever know!! How do we get ourselves into these situations?? The important thing to remember is that this is not your fault and you must be strong for your baby. I am struggling with this myself. I am 14 weeks pregnant and have been stressing so much that I have been cramping. I am worried to death of miscarriage. That is why we have to remain as calm as possible for our babies. Mourn the fact that your soon to be ex is a total a-hole after the baby is born. My heart goes out to you! I will keep you in my prayers and remember your not alone! Try reaching out to other girlfriends, sisters, mother, aunts anyone you can. Find your support system and lean on them. This is supposed to be the most important time in your life and one of the happiest. Try to make the best of it for your baby. He deserves to be born healthy and happy. We can do anything....we are the women and we are empowered with the ability to have the children for a reason!!! Stay strong girlfriend!!

 

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