No Idea If I Am The Father Or Not

49 Replies
tex - January 24

other side of the coin--had a one night stand --10 days latter she says i am the father --heard from her 5 x times since--i have a hard time believing her

 

strength101 - January 25

be respectful and don't spend time talking about your doubt. Simply tell her if you are the father you realize you will have a legal responsibility for the child and plan on being man enough to take care of the child. Hire an atty and get a DNA test. If the two of you agree on an arrangement get your atty to have her sign a consent to order ( a mutual agreement of terms on record with the courts). That will protect you from her getting mad and taking you to court. If she wants to abort the baby - that is her choice and her responsibility. Use protection always and don't allow yourself to be in this position - there is no cure for AIDS it is death.

 

tex - January 27

i dont understand , 2 adults have casual s_x, the woman knows her cycle, knows whether she is or isnt taking birth controll, can abort, give up for adoption or raise it ,,,yet somehow you beleive the man equally shares the responsiblity ?

 

strength101 - January 28

Both you and the woman had a responsibility to yourselves and each other. It is obvoius that neither one of you discussed the other persons method of birth control and no condoms were used. Both of you have to take responsibility for the lack of communication and not taking the time to protect yourselves. That is the problem with "casual s_x", you did not know the other person well enough to even know if she was on Birth Control and worse than that the two you had unprotected s_x - STD's. I understand the women has many choices regarding weather or not to have the child, but you had a choice as to weather or not you wanted to father a child. By not protecting yourself, forget her, you did not protect your best interest. I believe you are a man having casual s_x with no protection and you made that decision without thinking of the aftermath. You thought only of that moment and do not reserve the right to only blame the woman - both of you participated. A man who does want to father a child and wants to have a healthy life protects himself at all times, regardless of what the woman does. It is unfortunate and I am sorry that you are going through this with someone you are not in a relationship with. If it is proven that you are the father, please take responsibility for your actions. It is not the childs fault. I encourage you to get a DNA through the courts (it cost less than private test). Use protection at all times for your own good. I hope for your sake you are not the father. If that is the end result, learn from this --- USE PROTECTION for you!!!!!

 

tex - March 9

thanks ----you're rigth what was i thinking ? that a grown college educated woman w/ have s_x with out being on the pill---hey if u ladies want to live out a feminist fantasy and have a child --fine ---go to a sperm bank---insteead of using men as a bank --bad mouth us to the ends of the earth--but it always comes back to $----i odnt want to hear it tkaes two--the woman knows her cycle and has total controll of decsion process---

 

P - March 9

So it's her fault completely? You share no responsibility? Are you high or just stupid? You know how to make a baby yes? You know having unprotected s_x often leads to them? Your choice was to have the unprotected s_x and take that chance. Now the choices are all hers. From what you have written I doubt you are the father. I don't know anyone who knew when they were 10 days pregnant. Doesn't make sense. Definitely get the DNA test. If by some chance you are, suck it up. You've no one to blame but yourself.

 

JLK - March 10

# 1 You are an idiot for blameing her, it take two people to make a baby. #2 if she told you she was prego 10 days after you had s_x more than likely she was ALL READY prego when you had s_x with her. It is not possible for a pregnancy test to detect pregnacy after only 10 days. # 3 DNA test, # 4 use condoms looser.

 

tex - March 10

yes i was high am high --and i am a loser ---no doubt --i dont apologize for it --and everyone knows it ----i made a mistake---by a__suming a 35 yr old woamn knew about birth controll---i just hate to think about a kid having me as a father ----i am a loser --poor kid

 

nicole - March 15

ever heard of STDs, who cares if she used the pill, you should have still USED A CONDOM! you should get a blood test to make sure she didn't give you any little bundles of joy herself, dumba__s

 

tex - March 15

you both make some excellent points all i am trying to get accross is the woman is in controll of the situation she can decide to keep the child or abort the child ---i find it diificult to be held equally responsible when i dont have an say on the decisiom making process.......... --------i just don't see e=what kind of future a child has being raised by two people who dont know each other ---sorry but i think a child s/ be raised by a mother nad father under a single roof----and seeeing as their are many adoptive parents looking to raise a child -----i think thats the route that s/be persued.

 

Grandpa Viv - March 16

Hmm! There's a small chance she could have got a home test positive 10 days later, but it's small. If she's asking for abortion money, smell a rat! This may be a trick. Have her do a preg test while you are with her. There's a good chance she has other one night stands, and you are not the father. Let her know you are going to have a paternity test done before you a__sume responsibility. Which said, I am with those who feel you are as responsible for what happens with your sperm as a woman is with her eggs. If she is pregnant with your child and carries to term, you would be better off maintaining a cordial relationship for the next 20 years.

 

tex - March 20

i just dont know ----i feel like ia m being set up---we used to date --we both are over 30 --college grads--- conselting adults--dated for awhile --then w/ bump into each other --suddnely she is pregnant --- my friend who is trying despertly to get pregnant tells me in her opinoin---hve been set up--- either my "friend" was either pregnant--or wanted to get pregnant --i just dint understand why ?---i know there is a biological clock---but i just dont get --why a person w/ think the 2 aquanitces s/ be parents

 

steff - March 21

first of all you don't know that she was "out to get you" what makes you think that you are her ideal mate. Honestly sit down and think about it, if women had the all the choice to pick the perfect father of their offspring like animals, don't you think we would spend a little more time in THAT process? I mean really, should my child have brown eyes when blue really get complimented on more? How about his balding hair, what about the love handles, are those heriditary? I mean really. This is EXACTLY why they have sperm banks, could it be possible that she had too much to drink, or maybe you are just a really good kisser and she got caught up in the moment. ANd why didn't you put a condom on if this was a "one night stand" could of been worse, she could of called you 10 days later and told you she had an outbreak of herpes and you screwed her while she could pa__s this on to you. Hey did you notice any tiny bumps that may indicate your p___s will be covered in warts for the rest of your life. Stop and think about those things first. As for the baby, there are plenty of men out there who have abandoned their children. Plenty of strong women out there that raise them just fine, without the help of the one who helped get them pregnant. If in fact you are in your 30's (thought I read that in one of the threads) you are old enough to know that every choice in everything has serious reprocutions. And why should she be the one who has to live with the guilt of having killed her baby, why should she lay on the operating bed alone and have a hose rammed up inside her, while drugged up listening to the horrible sound of a vaccuum ripping her fetus to shreds to suck it out into a jar? WHY SHOULD SHE GO THROUGH ALL THAT alone, when you were more than willing to put your p___s anywhere near the hole that COULD OR COULD NOT make the baby. Don't be so selfish, its not a choice....before you go throwing around abortion as a option to birthcontrol, read up on it, figure out how the suffering of the woman will effect her whole life, could scar her for the rest of her life, how the fetus AKA baby, has a heart beat and brain etc.

 

rae - March 23

didyou have s_x with her and 10 days later find out she was pregnant??? im confused... if this is the case if you only slept with her once its highly unlikely its yours considering implantation would happen around day 10 and her levels wouldnt be high enough to detect until about day 14. im so confused...

 

tex - March 23

yes--10 days latter she left a message to call it's urgent--was away and spoke with her 19 days after our encounter---thats why i hve always had doubts and guess will be looking at dna tests down the road

 

??? - March 24

Sounds like you didn't trust her to begin with so why sleep with her AND w/o using a condom. I could almost have sympathy for you but it sounds more like your looking for excuses to dodge this. Your situation is not new or unheard of so you should have prepared yourself just as 101 suggested. What's done is done, you can be a decent HUMAN and stick around while she is preggars-- hate her and walk away AFTER you have found out the baby is not yours. Until then the only decent thing to do is stick around, cause this just might be your kid.

 

tex - April 7

i was wrong she was right a baby girl all are healthy

 

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