No Way Of Contacting My Childs Father

41 Replies
Grandpa Viv - June 8

An ultrasound this late is not as accurate as a first trimester ultrasound. Remember that 31 weeks pregnant (from lmp) suggests that conception was 29 weeks ago (from time of ovulation). I prefer to focus on your 5 weeks pregnant story.

 

GoodJBoy - August 4

I feel bad for you because of this situation but there is hope of finding the father with DNA testing.  It will cost some money but if you have your child DNA tested with sites like FamilyTreeDNA and other popular DNA testing sites, it involves some money and a cotton swab on the cheek to test your child.  You will quickly learn the father's ethnicity and you might even locate an individual who is closely related to the father.  Zillions of people are taking these tests now-a-days and there would be real hope, even if it is just a long shot, of finding the actual father this way.  You will at the very least find out his genetic enthnic origins.  I wish you good luck!

 

Bmichael - October 26

I'm a 27 year old male that had a one night stand around July 4, 2007 in lake havasu Arizona. I was 18 at the time. I don't remember much about it which includes her name. Lately it's been bothering me knowing how careless I was that night. Curious if I'll ever know if I had a child out there. I don't think there's any way to go about finding out or not without posting all over Facebook pages and so on. It was at the havasu landing campground and when I met her she was driving around with one of her girlfriends in an old knotts berry farm golf cart. 

Any advice?

 

Bmichael - October 26

I'm a 27 year old male that had a one night stand around July 4, 2007 in lake havasu Arizona. I was 18 at the time. I don't remember much about it which includes her name. Lately it's been bothering me knowing how careless I was that night. Curious if I'll ever know if I had a child out there. I don't think there's any way to go about finding out or not without posting all over Facebook pages and so on. It was at the havasu landing campground and when I met her she was driving around with one of her girlfriends in an old knotts berry farm golf cart. 

Any advice? 

 

Hvyang94 - January 26

Do the counties you live in still let you apply for help like food stamps and such even though you truly don't know who the father is? I'm just curious cause I'm in the same boat and don't know how to go about telling the county I'm in that I really don't know the father cause I wanna apply for food stamps and such.

 

Peter black - February 18

HI there everyone 

Well I am man who had few nights stand and more tha 5 times I had the condom splited. and basically I was worried in what the result of that could be! That was back in 2002 to 2004. 15 years on and for some reason it keeps coming to my mind that I might had one of those girls pregnant and didn't know about. If I actually did made them pregnant I definitely want to know my children and be the father they never had.

 Peter Black

 

 

JENT - July 21

obviously this post is from some time ago. but I am a product of a night like you experianced and not knowing anything about my father has really effected my life. If you would like to chat I would be willing to tell you me experiances through my 38 years. best of luck 

 

Xmop - August 16

May_belle

Does Geronimos in Davie FL and the year 2014 mean anything to you?

 

Xmop - August 16

May-Belle

 

Does Geronimos in Davie FL in 2014 mean anything to you?

Please respond.

 

Xmop - August 16

I suggest going on AncestryDNA. For those of us who don't know if we have fathered a child it may be an additional tool to find out. I know i signed up for that very purpose.

 

singlemomnyc - August 16

Hello dear moms out there. 

It has been a long time. I updated a while ago that we found my son's father through DNA and sleuthing. He is married and never visits my son and has almost no relationship besides court-ordered payments and annual birthday present. 

I tell my now 6-yr-old son that his father helped me make him and I am very grateful every day for that. I try to ensure he understands that his father and I never planned to be together and I always planned to have him.

My son's last name is not his bio father's name or my name, it is hyphenation of my ex's and mine. It is a good name. I tried to change it a few times but court orders while I was living in another country - the process was expensive with lawyers and I really do like the name he has so I decided a few years ago to keep it and embrace it. My son knows I picked it and picked to keep it. 

I wish sometimes that my son's father would be there for my son but I see my sister struggle with her flakey ex and so many other friends anguish over abusive or bad co-parents and I never have to deal with that. I have to make all the choices  - hard and easy but I also get to enjoy all the triumphs. 

I try to remind myself that 99% of the importance of a "father" is societal convention around two parent traditional family. I surround myself with other strong single moms. I imagine some day my son and I will have a heart to heart with more details that he is too young to wonder about today. I hope I will have raised him to be kind and understanding and forgiving so he will forgive me for the siblings I haven't been able to give him because I lost so many years just trying to identify his dad. I hope he will feel loved enough by me to make up for the love his dad is not around to give. 

Be good to your kids and to yourselves. 

I recently quit drinking and started going to AA. It has been a great experience that I highly recommend. I remember the darkest days when the paternity test for my ex came back negative and how lost I felt, how guilty I felt for my son, how much shame and fear overwhelmed me. I haven't started my steps yet but I the greatest "amends" I have are to my son and to myself for time lost on this, for tears shed, for being so hard on myself. Despite the mess and complications, I don't regret conceiving or keeping my son. I love him, he is my life. I do regret wallowing more than I should have.  I can't forget those times and I am here for anyone who is going through it. If anyone wants to be in touch off this board, I'm available. 

 

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