Pregnant And My Boyfriend Is Threatening To Leave

3 Replies
Alli - March 24

i am 19 and pregnant...my boyfriend is threatening to leave because he "never gets any time with his friends anymore and he just wants to have fun". i'm so scared! i'm desperate to keep him around - i love him and he does love me...he doesn't know what to do and i don't know how to do this alone. please help!!! i feel like i'm losing my mind!

 

~S~ - March 24

First of all, if he loves you as much as he says, he wouldn't be leaving you when you need him the most. How old is he? he's probably still in that partying phase, he hasn't grown up quite yet and doesn't understand that you can't play with fire and expect to walk away unburned. I'm refering to unprotected s_x. What you need to do is sit down with him, and the two of you need to talk about this pregnancy. Make it clear to him that it's okay to feel scared and unsure at first, especially if this was an unplanned pregnancy. Share your feelings and fears about this pregnancy with him, maybe it'll help him realize that he's not the only one who is freaking out. And make sure the both of you realize that just because you're having a kid, DOES NOT mean your life is over. I hate that when people think that, your life is not over, it's just a new beginning. He can still see his friends, hang out with him and maybe even go out with them every now and then, the only difference is that he has to now make responsible choices and to how often he goes out and how late he stays. I told my bf that I don't want him thinking that he can't ever see his friends anymore, just because we're having a baby. Instead, if he feels he needs a break the go for it! But I told him to just remember that when I need a break, he should be accepting to it. I'm sure your bf is just threatenig to leave because he's scared and doesn't know whatelse to do. It's his way of screaming out for help and support by you. The only reason why I believe this is because he has told you that he loves you, therefore he probably really doesn't want to go, but he see's no other choice. Start making plans about how the two of you can make this a bit easier on yourself, and help him feel comfortable, he must also help you feel comfortable too but he probably won't do this until he can feel comfortable himself. Hang in there girl....and if worse comes to worse and he leaves..just remember, there's a lot of single moms out there who do this alone and they do it just fine. It's scary, because it's something you've never had to do before, but you'll naturally adapt and things ALWAYS fall into place, it's just a matter of putting up a bit of a fight first. Take care and good luck. Just remember the wonderful and most amazing gift you could ever recieve, is growing inside of you. Oh and one more thing....PLEASE try not to stress out too much, whatever you feel, the baby feels.

 

JA - March 24

u know my boyfriend has been acting like an @ss since he found out i was pregnant... always going out with his buddies and hes barely home... so i left him, just like that... he came home one night and i wasnt there... he's been kissing my @ss ever since cause he knows now that i'm not gonna tolerate his bullsh!t and he doesnt want me to dissapear with the baby cause he knows if i do, he'll never find me, and apparently he cant stand the thought of having his kid out there somewhere and not knowing where... sometimes guys get alittle weird about gettin their girlfriends pregnant especially when theyre young... they didnt think about b4 but now that they've gotten themselves into a little trouble they start actin out... if he loves u, he'll come around, and if he doesnt then nothing is gonna change that, either way, u can do it alone if u got too, always keep that in mind... ur baby needs u more than anything... if u ever wanna talk u can email me: [email protected]

 

Alli - March 27

Thanks girls!! i appreciate the advice...i told him to leave if he really wanted i don't wanna beg him anymore...he left for about two hours and was back cuz he loves me and doesn't really wanna leave. we're gonna sit down and talk tonight when he gets home...wish me luck!!

 

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