Pregnant By A Married Man

116 Replies
madison1118 - June 25

Hi, I'm 29 years old and 4 1/2 months pregnant by a married man. I got pregnant the first time we had ever had s_x. Prior to learning I was pregnant he told me that his marriage of 18 years has been "over" for some time etc...When I told him that I was pregnant all he had to say was that he would support me with whatever decision I made. I knew deep down he wanted me to have an abortion. I tried to get one but when I was sitting in the waiting room at the abortion clinic I had this fear that I was making a mistake by taking the easy way out. I have always wanted children so I was very torn about getting an abortion. Needless to say I decided to have this baby. When I told him about my decision he told me that he was madly in love with me and wanted a life with me.. This was back in mid April. He set a timeline as to when he would leave his wife and children. That time line was a few day after June 1st.. His excuse for this timeline was that his son's birthday, Mother's Day, Fathers day etc.. Initially I was understanding and accepted this timeline. Well that timeline came and went. Last week his father in law was supposedly in the hospital for heart problems and I guess it wasn't the "right time" to tell her. Then he proceeded to say that he had a long talk with his wife and that she knows that there is someone else.. I haven't really spoken to him much the past two weeks because I refuse to be strung along any longer with this. Either he's going to tell her or he's not. I think I failed to mention that we work in the same company and I see him from time to time when I can't avoid him. I'm just confused at this point as to what to do. Do I contact him to find out what is going on or should I just let it go and plan to have this baby alone? It seems anytime i have spoken to him all I get is words and promises that he never seems to come through on. I'm just sick of hearing his bullshit "I love you, we're going to be together etc.."

 

sunshyne9 - June 27

Im sorry to say this but first of all why do woman believe that when married men say "there marriage has been over for a long time"?? Most men that say that and that are married just want one thing from you and well by the looks of it he got it. I would just have a hard time sleeping iwth someone who willingly came out and told me he ws marrie dand stil with her. My words would be come back and see me when your moved out andnot with her. I mean I know your pregneat and all emotional and im sorryto hear your in such a spot.. but yo ukinda did it to yourself. I think if he truly wanted a life wiht you and wanted to be wiht you then he would be. What kind of a man just leaves his family.. you said he's leaving his wife and kids.. well youdon' just leave your kids. Whywould you want to be wiht someone who cheated anywyas?? cause that's what he did with you.. he cheated on his wife wiht you.. Wow.. I hope this all works out in the end fo ryou.. but feel for his wife and kids now also..

 

ash2 - July 7

apparentley he wants to still be with his wife . leave him be you homewrecker.

 

Tjane - July 7

I wont bash you as others have as I know its not my place but I will say that you just really need to worry about yourself and your baby. I would also recommend you get into some counseling as you need to figure out what it is about you that you feel like you have to be with someone in this situation. I dont think he loves you. I dont think he even loves his wife, in order for him to love someone else he would need to love himself and its obvious he doesnt. Someone who manipulates and lives his life as a lie obviously can not stand himself so that should be a sign to you that something is wrong with him and you need to stay away. I would say no, dont contact him but I am also realistic as to how you just want the man youre pregnant by to be there through your pregnancy... I know its hard but I can asure you if you were on the outside looking in at someone else in this sitation you would see it.... I know I said it before but I strongly recommend counseling, you need some help to realize that you and your body and now your baby are worth more than this, we all deserve to be with someone who is only into us and until you see that you are worth more you will continue to accept less......

 

madison1118 - July 11

Tjane- First of all you say that you don't want to bash as others have.. Well by recommending counseling I consider that bashing. How can you recommend counseling to someone you don't even know?? What makes you think I don't feel that my body or baby is worth anything just because I had s_x with a married man. I value my body and baby very much. Last time I checked you can't help who you fall in love with. I think its out of line how many of you are so easy to judge people.

 

Tjane - July 11

I didnt know recomending counseling would be more offensive than someone calling you names.... When i said I wouldnt bash you I meant that I wont call you names like other people did, apparently the things you are offended by are different than normal people... You are worth more than the way he is treating you and if you dont see that counseling would help. Something is wrong if you feel you have to share a man with another woman in order to have a man and thats all i was saying. Since recommending counseling was offensive there isnt much one could say to you that wouldnt offend you... At any rate, I apologize for offending you and wish a healthy, and happy pregnancy. If you think I was offensive you better brace yourself for the married women who have been cheated on, theyre gonna have more to say than what I did.....

 

Tjane - July 11

You should read the other thread with the same t_tle as yours, My post was way off from bashing you.....

 

Mommy - July 11

"He set a timeline as to when he would leave his wife and children." I see a problem with any man willing to leave his family for another woman, whether she is pregnant or not. If the marriage was over for a long time, why haven't they gotten a divorce yet and how come she still doesn't know about you? Honestly, if you really did care about your body, you wouldn't have gotten pregnant from sleeping with an unavailable man in the first place. I suppose you think it's fair enough that he leaves his wife, but expecting him to leave his other children behind is horrendous. I think your child deserves to know his/her father, but you have no right at all to expect him to up and leave his other children for you. Nothing good ever comes from someone sleeping with someone elses husband or wife. All it takes is someone who can't keep their pants on (meaning you, him and anyone else who cheats on their spouse) and the lives of innocent children are ruined. I really hope you learn from this.

 

Britney23 - July 11

you may not have control over who you fall in love with, but you do have tyhe control to not act upon it if its wrong. A thief/rapist/murderer can also say he has no control over what he feels and wants, but he still has no right to act upon it. thats the difference between humans and animals. we were given choices in the hope that we make the right ones.

 

madison1118 - July 12

TJane- no matter how you want to phrase your words I find what you are saying "bashing". You are being extremely judgmental and I would appreciate it if you kept your judgments to yourself. What makes you and Britney so experienced that you feel you are qualified to pa__s such judgment on someone?? And in case you haven't noticed it is 2006 and PEOPLE GET DIVORCED ALL THE TIME. If there wasn't already a problem or disconnect in his marriage he wouldn't have been with me. And for the record, he did not leave his kids.. He will be there for his children just as much as when he was living at home.

 

Tjane - July 12

We are not talking about other people, we are talking about your married botyfriend and he has not chosen to get divorced so what people do every day in the year 2006 doesnt really apply with him since hes chosing to stay married. You were offended when I recommended counseling, you were even offended after the post where I apoligized and wished you a happy and healthy pregnancy... does water offend you too? If I was pa__sing judgement I would judge you and tell you how I feel about you, i have yet to give you my personal feelings about you... since you are apparently blind and even see as apology as being bashed I will leave it alone... AGAIN, I wish you, your man and his wife a happy and healthy pregnancy....

 

jazyjewls - July 12

madison1118 Dont let these people on here try to make you feel bad or bash you because you know what they don't know its like... I just recently had a baby by a married man.. My beautiful daughter is 2 months old... I swear there must be a book about married men getting women pregnant because they all say the same things... They all want you to have an abortion and they all say they love you and there going to leave there family they need time... Trust me first hand its all bulls**t hes not going to leave his family hes not going to be a part of that baby's life you are goign to do it all alone... I'm doing it now... I'm 23 years old and a single mother of a 5 year old and a 2 month old its not going to be easy trust me when I tell you but if you keep your head up you can do... I just tell myself this is what is meant to be... its meant for all this too happen everything happens for a reson.... My daughters sperm donor (thats all he is) his wife knows (so he says) and she dont want him to be a part of her life so he comes once a month hes seen her 2 times once to do a paternity test and the other for liek 3 hours... all they care about is losing what they have at home... well if you ever need anyone to talk to you can e mail me [email protected] these people on here are jsut here to bash you trust me... maybe 5 % will give you advise Good luck

 

sonotec75 - July 13

Madison...Hun u need to move on. He had his fun and now is done. I'm sorry this has happened, though, remember it took two to get there. I know u didn't intend to get preg but now that you are you need to only worry about you and your little gift. Take the high road and don't bother him anymore. Show him that you can do this. After the baby is born fight for support. If he hasn't told his wife she will find out then. Also remember, if he was willing to do this with a wife of 18 yrs, he is willing to do it again. Next time it could be you. Let his wife keep him and his cheating ways. You can and will do better.

 

Britney23 - July 14

Some of you women are so selfish, its unreal. We've ALL experienced being hit on by married men, we know what it is. But all youre worried about jazyjewels is yourself. I cannot believe we're the same age. I'm 24, have been hit on by married men, and have even had a crush on a married man, but i would have never ever ever acted on any of it. And thank God, I am happily married and pregnant and am having a child in a healthy context, a child who will have his own daddy to be there for him. Why can't you give it up and just find look for a nice single guy who will be there just for you and your child?there are so many free fish in the sea, your bound to find one. Not all men out there are cheaters, you know. I guess its just because you haven't met the woman who have been cheated on, and the children who grew up without fathers as a result of it. My best friend is going thru a divorce now, because her husband has been cheating on her with a woman who KNEW he was married. You have no idea what the heartache is, and now her two little gorgeous boys are gonna grow up without a daddy. yes, its his fault too, but this woman, who's doing exactly what you do, helped. Why do you wanna be a woman like that?

 

LaurenKaylyn17 - July 16

My father slept with someone while he was still married to my mother.... she ended up getting pregnant with twins. All I can say is women like you KNOW what you are getting yourselves into especially when you know that the man is MARRIED. Does that word ring a bell? M-A-R-R-I-E-D... and obviously he isn't married to you and probably wont be. It's your own d__n fault and look at what happend... now you're pregnant.

 

jazyjewls - July 16

You people that are on here to bash us why dont you find somethign else to do.. Is your life that boring that you have to come on here and bash people....IF you dont know the whole story maybe you should sit back and not say anything... And ya know what maybe if you married women knew how to take care of your men at home us females wouldnt have to do it for you... I am so tired of you girls coming on here down gradin us when its not just our fault its the men too did you ever think of that... The marraige must not be going great anyways for himn to want to go outside the marraige.. Maybe he never said he was married until strong feelings were involved... You dont know everything so why dont you people that have rude comments to say go to another page and say it there... This girl is going throu a hard time and reguardless if its her fault or not shes the one that has to deal with it the guys can just walk away and do what ever they want but this girls is stuck raising this baby by herself and she needs support not people bashing her...

 

Britney23 - July 16

"And ya know what maybe if you married women knew how to take care of your men at home us females wouldnt have to do it for you"- My God you are disgusting, woman!!!! Your are an insult to womankind. I do not see you as a woman, but as a homo sapien with b___sts and a v____a. You have not an ounce of femininity in you. The reason why you are a "female" and not a married woman looking out for your own husband at home is because you are a coward- instead of getting married and working on a relationship, you choose to steal it from others and justify it. I see you are a hopeless case who is completely selfish. You are attracted to helping out causes which represent your own selfish ways. If you feel that you want this guy then who cares about anybody else and the agony this will cause them. your only values are the ones that serve you best.

 

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