Should I Kick Him Out Or Give Him Another Chance

1 Replies
LL - March 14

Sorry….this is long. I find myself in a totally screwed up situation, hurt, depressed and probably alone. My boyfriend and I live together and I’m 5 months pregnant. On Saturday I went with some of my family to dinner and when I came home he was at a friend’s house that lives in the same apartment complex as we do “hanging out”. He said he would be home shortly and then he called later to tell me that he was going out. I got p___sed and upset and told him if he wanted to be single that he needed to let me know because I didn’t feel like he wanted our relationship. We argued and then I said screw it and went back home. I had a gut feeling that something wasn’t right so I went through his cell phone which he had left at home. I guess I got what I deserved for being nosey because I found that he had sent 3 text messages to another girl on Valentines Day. I immediately went down to the friends house where he was and had a complete fit and acted an ass and told him not to bother coming home because I was threw with him. Of course he called and also came to the apartment banging on the door and I told him I had nothing to say to him. He never gave me an explanation and denied even knowing the number saying that one of his friends must have used his phone. I called the girl’s number that he text and she told me that yes she knew him and they had sent text messages to each other, but that nothing further had gone on. For some reason I didn’t believe her. She had the nerve to ask me what I looked liked and tell me that I was probably to good for him, which I probably am but who is she to tell me these things not even knowing me at all. He’s been calling me and wanting to come home and this morning he was banging on my door at 7:30am wanting to talk to me before I left for work. I told him I had nothing to say and he asked that I just listen. He admitted to me that he had meet the girl at a club one night and they exchanged numbers and he admitted to sending her the text messages. He swears to me that nothing further went on and it was just simply that. He said that he does not want to loose me or jeopardize our future at all and he will do anything to earn my trust back. He said he called and talked to his mom about the situation last night and she told him he needed to come clean with me and now she’s very upset with him because he may have jeopardized our future together and she’s p___sed. I was so hurt because the text messages weren’t just “hi how are you”, but were s_xual in nature and he claims she was sending him messages and he was just simply responding. Unfortunately the messages she sent to him were already deleted out of his phone so I have no way of knowing for sure. He wanted me to talk with him and I just asked him to please leave me alone because I didn’t want to talk and I needed to think and be by myself. I’m so hurt and confused and don’t know what to do. I know people make mistakes because I have made them before in past relationships but never in this one. I don’t know if I should forgive him and if I do will I be able to ever trust him. If I tell him it’s over and I want him out I’m scared I’ll regret it and I really wanted him to go threw this pregnancy with me. He keeps saying I don’t want to loose you and that he loves me so much but shouldn’t he have thought of this before now. I just don’t know what to do our which way to turn. Please help!

 

April - March 14

If that girl's telling you that you're too good for him... that's probably her way of telling you that something's going on without actually coming out and saying it. Do you know what I mean? She wouldn' t have said that if she thought he was treating you right and behaving like he should. Although this really could've all been a misunderstanding... BUT.. he shouldn't have exchanged numbers and text messages with her in the first place. I think you should just take as much time as you need to figure things out. If you think that you can work things out then I'd say give him one more shot. BUT.. if you don't think you can trust him... don't give him another shot. Without trust it will not work. So don't even bother if you don't trust him anymore. Can you think of anything that he could do to help regain your trust? If he really wants you back that bad he needs to prove it... and I really don't think he should be going out to clubs anymore.. at least not until after you have the baby.

 

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