Should I Still Put My Babys Fathers Name On The Birth Certif

27 Replies
siciotic - February 6

ok my baby's father told me that he wants to give up his rights to the child i am carrying..my question is if he gives up his rights should i still put his name on the birth certificate or not? also if he gives up his rights does that mean that he cant see his child at all??

 

LonelyTears - February 6

Honey, I dont even think you should bother putting his name on the certificate. If he is that big of an a__s and wants nothing to do with your baby you should just take it from there! If he wants to give up his rights to your child, tell him to contact an attorney and see what the outcome is. If he does decide to go through with it and he has given up his paternal rights then he would have no reason to see the child. Dont waste time worrying about such a loser, you will be fine!

 

To siciotic - February 6

Siciotic, if he wants to give up his rights and you agree, then he is NOT obligated to provide any financial support for that child. So if you can afford diapers, formula, clothing, food, shelter, any extra activities such as sports ect, then go ahead but keep this in mind it took 2 to make that baby, you can't run away from your responsibilities then why allow him to run away from his. I'm not sure if you were using birth control but if he didn't want children or if he wasn't ready for kids yet then he should either use condoms or he shouldn't be having s_x. Keep his name on the birth certificate and don't sign anything stating you have agreed for him to give up his parental rights. Think about the future of your child. Good luck to you.

 

g - February 6

I agree with LonelyTears, the heck with him. If he doesnt want anything to do with this child the heck with him! If you try to force him he depending on what type of guy he is he could take it out on your child and even go for custody to get you to pay support. If you ever get any Government help now or in the future and you list him as the father they will fight him signing away his rights and make him pay AND he will still get rights to see the child. Make sure what you want to do.

 

April - February 6

as far as I know... he can't give up his rights unless you're married and your husband is willing to adopt. The best way to do this, if you don't want child support from him, is to not put his name on the birth certificate. BUT... if you don't do this and should want child support or cash a__sistance later, this will make getting these things hard. If you don't care about the child support and don't want cash a__sistance.. then don't bother putting his name on the BC. If he should want rights later, then he'll have to pay for a DNA test.

 

Trudy - February 7

If he is "giving up his rights" why would you even want to put his name on a birth certificate? Don't take any legal action. If he says, "i'm giving up my rights." You say, "okay." Then change your number and refuse any contact with him if he ever tries to contact you in the next few years.

 

rights - February 12

I am not a young mum to be and have thought about this too. He left me the day i told him i had a great scan (other pregs had ended in miscarriage). I am going to put 'father unknown' on the birth certificate and not seek financial support. As far as i am concerned he gave up all rights when he left me (relationship was going ok, didnt even give me one days warning, just took off). A father sticks with the mother of his child through moodswings and pregnancy, fatherhood starts the day they find out, not when it suits them or is convenient to them to be a dad. I have thought about when my child will ask about his dad and am lucky i guess i have older kids and they know i have emailed and messaged him lots to try and get him to show some sign of humanity... my older kids cant understand how a little baby can cause so much angst and are looking forward to the arrival of a brother or sister... as far as he is concerned he doesn't want to spend his money on a child. He is 41 and childless and i hope he lives a long and lonely life, and the shine of his new cars gives him some comfort ... nice place for a vent here.

 

frankschick2001 - February 12

On a personal level, I agree with the answers saying to heck with this guy. You dont need him in your life. HOWEVER, on the legal side I don't think it would be wise to leave him off of the certificate. You can still give your baby your last name, but he will be put down as the father. The reason this is wise is because for one thing, even if wants nothing to do with the baby, he is STILL obligated to help out financially. If you were to go after him for some support (and why shouldnt you?) and the court sees that you didn't list him as the fatehr, they may order a paternity test, and that just makes the process longer. Plus, they will wonder why you left him off in the first place. It just makes going through the legal process harder. ALSO, even if he doesn't want to be involved, doesn't mean that your child will not want to know who his father is. i mean, what if god forbid, something shuold happen to you? Your child may want to know who is other parent is. Without his name on the birth certificate, he will have no way of tracking him down. I say make the smart decision for the future of your child. You can tell the father that you are putting his name down, and thats that. Whatever comes later on, you'll deal with it. Guys are such a-holes sometimes. Bottom line, leaving his name off of the certificate will have future ramifications that won't be pleasant to deal with. Should the father come into a great deal of money or property your child will have no right to it, and that is just wrong. Should the father enlist in the military, there are benefits given to their children, which your child may someday need.

 

Trudy - February 12

I completely disagree with FranksChick2001. It's just a piece of paper, it means nothing. If the father ever comes into money the child is still obligated to it. Also, why wouldn't the mother tell the child the name of the child's father? Plus, if she puts down the fathers name on the BC the state automatically will file for paternity. The father wants NOTHING to do with the child. Why put his name on the birth certificate?? If siciotic wants to ask for money later on it won't delay anything. A paternity test takes about a week. And April is right, he can not give up his rights legally unless there is a willing male to take his place as the father. He has to sign his rights over to someone else. I went through this with my ex. My ex said, "I want to give up my rights." (later he said he wanted a paternity test, but did nothing about it). So, my ex and I went to separate lawyers and as it turned out my ex could not just sign away his right without him signing them over to another male. I NEVER put my ex's name down on the birth certificate. I figured that if he did not want anything to do with my child than that was HIS problem and unfortunately my daughters problem, but i wasn't going to make it my problem.

 

siciotic - February 13

thank u all for ur answers. i am choosing to not put his name on the BC.

 

April - February 25

don't listen to "to siciotic"... they obviously have NO CLUE what they are talking about... haha. If anyone is being selfish and irresponsible here, it's your baby's father for not wanting to take care of his child... and it is NOT FRAUD if you are on a__sistance and the government knows the father isn't on the BC. Some of the people on here crack me up.

 

well - February 25

technicaly "to siciotic" is correct i have filled out paper work for governent a__sistance. When you fill the papers out if you dont have any idea who the father is they have you list the possible fathers ie guys you have slept with around the time of conception. I have papers from the state that say the only thing that happens when you put a mans name on a birth certificate when you are not maried is it just legally states who the father of the child is. Doing this give you child rights like if any medical problems run in his side of the family they can check that stuff out and if lets say that he dies when the child is under 18 the child would get money from social security. Now since he wants to give up his legal rights to the child i would talk with a lawyer and get paper work started. Just because he give up his legal rights like being able to make decisions for/about the child he still has to provide financial suport. If he gives up his rights im not sure about visitation but if you are ok with him seeing the child then its ok i think well good luck.

 

April - February 25

It's still not fraud though. haha. Putting the father's name on the birth certificate would be giving him rights, and he cannot give away those rights unless the mother has someone else who will adopt the baby. If he gives up his rights he will NOT be ent_tled to pay child support, and will also not be allowed to make decisions. If he doesn't give up his rights, he will be allowed to go for visitation or custody at anytime.. and he WILL receive some visitation at least, he will also have to pay child support. You're right about it being good to put the father on the birth certificate for medical reasons and government a__sistance, but this will also give him all the rights of being the father. and a lot of times, going after a father for child support will make that father want visitation. Some fathers even get so mad that they want full custody.. and if custody isn't established, and he decides he wants to come take the baby and not bring it back... guess what... if he gets that baby then there isn't a darn thing you can do about it. You can take him to court for custody, but it'll take you months to get your baby back... if you even do. It probably won't come down to him taking the baby most times, but it DOES happen. Those are just things you need to be aware of. It's kind of like weighing the consequenses... would it be better to have medical information and the possibility of SS payments? or would it be better to protect your child from a bad father or one that doesn't want the rights to the child anyway. I guess you'd have to take a good look at what kind of a guy you're dealing with... and I still don't think it's selfish to not put the father on the birth certificate if you have a good reason.

 

siciotic - February 26

well the father is a complete loser and since he told me that he wants to give up his rights i dont think i have any reason to put his name on the BC. and i dont think he would try to get custody of this child because he already has 3 kids and doesnt want any more.

 

to siciotic - March 6

you can put the name on the certificate if you want your baby to ask questions about his father and to know who he is. I think if he gives up the rights to the child, he may not be able to see the baby IF you chose that option

 

yummy_mummy - March 7

get something signed by a lawyer saying that he gives up his rights that way he cant try and come back later and just take your kid away from you ...or if you do have to go to court the odds will be more in your favour..because of that legal doc_ment

 

Moon - March 15

In Illinois, even if the father gives up the rights of a child, the name must be listed on the birth certificate. I think this is so that family history (medical) can be traced. A person can't just give up their rights, it has to go through the courts. Children who are adopted at some point can request the names of both biological parents. You can give your child any last name you wish. It does not have to be the father's (or even yours). As far as child support or other financial matters - a paternity test would be used unless a Voluntary Agreement is signed at the hospital. Most hospitals will not let you leave without it being signed. There is also another form a Voluntary Decline of Paternity that is to be signed. I only know of this form being used in marital cases where the husband is not the biological father. It can only be signed when it accompanies the Agreement by the biological father. The rules have changed over the years. 1986 - unknown was listed on my son's birth certificate. 1993 - My husband got to sign the birth certificate no other papers. 1995 - My husband had to sign the Paternity Agreement along with the birth certificate. 1998 -His signature, right thumb print and agreement of paternity 2001 - Only the names and Agreement

 

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