Single Mom Pregnant And Do Not Know Who The Daddy Is

1 Replies
babyb - April 5

Ok, so i really need help, so much. I am a single mom of one boy and he's 3 1/2. I love him so very much. My ex and i tried for him for over a year and that positive was so very exciting. It has been over a year since i split with my ex and its been great at times. In the last three months i have been sleeping my my ex ( son's dad) and its been great, but he is with someone and has been for some time. I do not want him back, we are just "friends". We have had s_x about five times i guess and the last time we had s_x was on Feb 19. Last summer i met this guy online dating, i thought it went well but his proffession pulled him away from my city and it was ended, however we did talk once in a while, through email and text but that was it. Then he told me he was mvoing back this way but didn't knwo for how long so we got together one night and had s_x, it was absolutly fantastic, the stupid thing was we did not use protection but the day after i took the morning after pill. That was the last time i had s_x with either person. I ended it with ex hoping this other guy would be a new boyfriend, but it isn't turning out to be that way. He is moving again and has two kids already and is moving closer to them. Anyway my doc told me that i concieved on or around the day of the 25th of february which is when i had s_x with the new guy. So i don't know what to think, why did the pill not work?? I am now six or seven weeks pregnant and i have told the new guy and he absolutly wants me to have an abortion and i wish he had of just stepped up but no, he said there is absolutly no chance for us and this child will have no sort of life knowing his father was basically just a one night stand and everything and how would i explain that to our child. He wants me to get a paternity test just to make sure its his and then go from there. I am not sure if i can do an abortion but at the same time i am not sure if i can keep it. I know i would regret it, i just know it. I am 30 and i wanted two kids, my life just never went that way. And if its my ex then he will lose his girlfriend and maybe even want me back, and of course its the whlole money thing thats an issue to these guys and i understand, i just have so many questions and my brain just won't stop!! I don'tk nwo what to do.

 

Grandpa Viv - April 5

OMG, uprotected casual s_x is risky for more than one reason! You are perhaps lucky to have escaped with just a pregnancy. I take it you told the doc your last period started Feb 11th, and she added 14 days to arrive at the 25th? Cycle day 8 is scarcely inside the fertile window, but pregnancies do sometimes occur that way, especially if you ovulate early for some reason. Since your libido was high on the 25th ("absoultely fantastic") I am going to guess you did ovulate Feb 25th, and the chances are higher that the casual s_x was responsible. The morning after pill is not 100% foolproof. The casual guy absolutely does not want a relationship, though he may contribute child support. It sounds as though you were the one to dump the ex, so you don't want to revisit that scene. I guess you have to decide if your desire for a second child is greater than the problem of handling this on your own - financial, emotional, social etc. Abortions and vasectomies are on the upswing this year, in reaction to the economic uncertainties. My heart is with you in this difficult moment. Good luck!

 

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