Single Mom Pregnant Unmarried And Troubled

6 Replies
Stephanie - February 18

I'm a well-educated, 36 yr old, divorced and proud loving mother to an 8-yr old son. I've been in a yr-long relationship with a good man and have recently discovered that I'm pregnant. The relationship appeared to have more potential to me before this pregnancy became a factor. There are cultural differences, as he is from another country. That may, or may not have anything to do with my confusion right now. I'm not sure that I want to be with this man long-term. He does. He's excited about the pregnancy. I love children and would never get rid of a baby who would be so extraordinarily loved by me and my family. At the moment, my family is not really understanding this and can't be helpful. I don't have much of a support circle where I can talk this through. Any guidance or experienced words would be helpful.

 

Exhausted - February 21

I am 32 with an 8 year old and 6 weeks pregnant. I'm not sure if the baby's father will stay with me or not. We have been seeing eachother for almost 6 months, but have known eachother for almost 17 years. I cannot find any justification that warrants having an abortion. However, thinking that it may only be me and my 2 children, how do I pay for day care? I have a decent job, but when I add up all the expenses, I don't come close to covering day care. Any advise?

 

Heather - February 22

I'm not sure what help I can be to you, but be grateful you do have someone that's excitied about the baby. But if you're not sure about anything longterm with him, then you need to pray about it. I am kinda in the same situation. I'm 21 pregnant and decided that I wanted him around to help me, but I didn't want to marry him. I can't tell you if it is the right thing to do or not, but it feels right. Just don't push him too far away you'll need him.

 

Rosie - February 22

The thing is whenever something big happens in your life it shifts your perspective - the fact you say more potential before the pregnancy says alot to me. You need to work out your reasons why you dont see a future with him - write it all down - pros and cons and then see how you feel. Work out if you love him or not and take it from there. Im in a similar situation and its easier said than done. Perhaps you have bad experiences from your marriage that are a mental stumbling block from commiting to anyone - let alone this man? Good luck

 

Re: exhausted - February 25

I too am exhausted, from trying to hang on to the hope of adopting. Have you considered adoption? I keep hearing that the right baby will come along but that saying is worn out and old to my ears. If this is something you have considered please reply. I do not need to be bashed by everyone who thinks I should not be here. I have feelings too.

 

Noelle - April 2

Don't worry about different countries. When I got pregnant with a non-american man, my family didnt talk duing my pregnancy,but once they saw my baby boy they were in love

 

seventh_sea - April 4

I feel for you. I'm 35-year-old independent woman in an extremely troubled relationship, with two sons from a previous marriage and one son with my current fiance. We're expecting a baby next month, and the timing couldn't be worse in terms of how little is left of love and trust between us. We barely communicate and I think we are both just waiting for the other to leave. Since you've decided without a doubt not to abort, but you're not sure you want to be with your man forever, I would recommend that you seek counseling to get to the root of your uncertainty. Also, as you ride out the pregnancy and the relationship, plan for two contigencies - being with him, and being alone. I wish I could be of more help. Good luck!

 

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