Single Mother Of An 8 Yr Old And Am Pregnant Again

10 Replies
Risamgirl - November 8

Hi. I am 26 years old. I became pregnant when I was 17. I had my son, and kept him. I support us by myself with no help from the father. My son and I live in a 2 bedroom apartment and I work full time. I found out last week that I am pregnant from a one night stand.(Which is rare for me!!!!) At first I thought...I'll simply have an abortion by taking the abortion pill. I am supposed to go in this Saturday and do it. I am having SERIOUS second thoughts. I almost had an abortion with my first child, and I thank God that I didn't do it. Part of me wants this baby. The other part of me thinks of what my family, friends and co-workers will think of me...knowing I am having ANOTHER baby out of wedlock. The father knows about it, and does not want a child. He has agreed to pay for half of the abortion. I have a feeling that if I terminate this pregnancy, that I will regret it forever. Part of me feels that no matter how hard it will be financially and emotionally for me, that I can do it. This little life inside of me, is just that. A life...my unborn child. How can I "get rid of it", when I know that if I just try harder, I CAN take care of it. Every now and then, like when I am driving home from work, or sitting alone in my house, I catch myself feeling happy...just for a moment...when I say "Wow...I am pregnant". I feel like an abortion is just not what feels right to me. But everyone around me thinks it is the right choice. What can I do? What should I do? How would I explain this pregnancy to my eight year old child? I am so scared and confused. Please someone help me? M

 

bmorebabe - November 9

I am a single mother of a child whom will be 6 in about a month and I will be on my way to the hospital in about an hour to have my second child this childs father chose to vanish from the face of the earth about 7 months ago and I just want you to know that my daughter was elated when she found out that she was going to be a big sister. I am very happy with my decision to keep this baby but I also know that every situation is different. I have a friend that gave a baby up for adoption 6 weeks ago because she knew that it would be what was best for all involved including herself her 6 year old and the new baby. Please think about this decision very hard before you make a decision that you might regret and cant reverse. Be strong you are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

Ann - December 2

It looks like we are almost in the same boat-you can read my post under General Pregnancy t_tled "boyfriend wants abortion", I am 10 weeks pregnant and decided to keep it even though the father does not want anymore kids AND we work together so we see eachother every single day, talk about stressful. Anways....It was very hard to come to the decision but in the long run, I know that I am old enough to take responsibility for my actions. It will be tough and some will probably judge you but those who judge you were not true friends. I know that I am doing the right thing regardless of how hard it will be on me emotionally, physcially and monetarily but I know that when they wrap that little baby up in that blanket and hand it to me to cuddle with, all my fears and worries will be washed away and replaced with pure happiness and at that moment I will know for sure I made the right decision. I wish the best of the luck...keep us posted.

 

Jen - December 2

Have you ever thought about open adoption?

 

Jessi - December 4

I am totally in the same boat as you. I am 27 and I was 20 I had a baby girl and the father wanted nothing to do with her. I am raising her all on my own and can't imagine life without her. Well I am now 6 weeks pregnant and the father of this child now wants me to have an abortion. I have been seeing him (not very seriously) for 2 years, and when I told him I was thinking of keeping the baby he got very angry. He said that I was being unfair to my daughter, and that he doesn't want to start a family. HE is 30 and has no kids. I go back and forth on what to do...keep it or have an abortion. I do really want to keep the baby but I worry what others will think of me, especially at my work. I know that I shouldn't care what other people think but just thinking that my other child will not have a father makes me want to cry. My mother wants me to keep it, and my friends are very supportive...I just wish the childs father would be a friend and spend some time with the baby. Thank you for posting your story because it is so much like mine. I have an appointment for an abortion next friday but i really don't want to go....does anyone have any suggestions...or thoughts...I really need someone to help....

 

Jessi - December 5

Hey M, we are so much in the same position, if you want email me and we can chat [email protected]

 

... - December 5

hey jessi, in my opinion, i think you should just keep it. You kept your other daughter and now "you cant imagine life without her". I mean true this will be hard, but u have th support of ur friends and ur mom which is really good. Dont worry what other people think, like the people at work, I dont think they will be asking you questions about you being pregnant. Just think about it.

 

[email protected] - July 21

DO NOT use abortions as a means of birth control. The baby is a part of YOU and be independent. Women do NOT need a man to raise a child. Anyone can be a father or a mother, NOT everyone can be a DAD or MOM to a child. Be a real mom to the unborn child and do what a loving mom would do and take responsibility for your own actions and give life as it was meant to be, not butcher or knife your body and kill something that will breath the same air as you do now. Things have a way of working out, so don't sit in a rocking chair some day when your older wishing you had not played God. It's YOUR baby so forget the sperm donor and take care of you and the baby first and give time a chance to work itself out for a change. When does everyone around you pay your bills and wipe your a__s? Listen to yourself for a change and do what is best for YOU and the unborn baby. BE independent and quit listening to others and listen to yourself for a change and get some self-esteem and stick to YOUR choice in the matter not what others would do that is NOT always right and in this case their advice sounds selfish and self centered to me!!! Geeeishhhhhhh stand on your own two feet gir, for your unborn childs sake. I went to my daughters sonogram at 16 weeks and saw her unborn son, he yawned and wiped his little eye, it was like peeking under a blanket and I got to hear his little heart beating. My daugher is single and her BF split after 4 years of dating and freaked out at the responsibility........his loss and I just consider him as the sperm donor and am here in support for my daughter and have given her a place to live until she gets on her feet. IT'S A BABY.....life.......and I consider it a miracle knowing alot of women can't conceive or have children.........and in the end I know it will all work out!! Good luck!!!

 

john - July 27

It is best that you keep the second baby, because if you only have 1 child and he / she does not have a brother / sister to play with, i'm sure he will ask the following question: "Mummy, I'm very lonely at home where i did not have a bother or sister to play with after i come back from a long day study at school and most of my friends have brother / sister to play with after they comes back from school while i don't have one at all?" Don't you think your child will ask that? I feel very sorry if you do not want to keep the second child. But please, take my advice as a consideration and consider your child's feelings when he / she is lonely and you will be regreting it.

 

jade - July 28

I have a nine month old and am 4 months prego w/ twins I chose to leave the babies father do to his addictions. I strongly considered abortion but when I looked at my child and think he would not be here if I had made that decision w/him it killed me. Children are a blessing. Everyone around me thinks I am so stupid, but I know I am making the right decision and it is me who will carry the burden *joy* whateva. Do not listen to anybody follow your heart.

 

Amy - July 28

My daughter is 5 and my son is 2, they are from a previous marriage and have the same father. I found out in January I'm expecting baby #3, another baby girl, I'm due in Sept. I made the appointment and went to the clinic, a lot of the other women there acted like it was just another doctor's appointment, it was no big deal, and I'm not judging them, they may have simply detached themselves...anyway, something told me, like a wisper in my ear, take your baby and go home, I did, and yes, I wonder if I've made the right decision for my daughter and son. Their father is virtually non-existent and pays very little child support, this baby's father has decided that she isn't his and wants nothing to do with either of us, he is engaged and is moving on with his life, as are we. I feel that my decision was made when I chose to have s_x, it isn't my soon-to-be daughter's fault that mom was careless, and God doesn't make mistakes, I don't understand her purpose, but she has one, and who am I to take that away from her or God. She is going to be a blessing to all of us, I don't know how we'll survive financially, but the birds don't go hungry, the mice have somewhere to sleep, and why would I think God would have less concern for us? M, hold your head up, cry when you have to, hug your little boy every day, and know that you will be happy. In ten or fifteen years, you'll look back with a girlfriend and say, "Wow, How did we ever make it out of that?" or better yet, "How did we end up there in the first place?" I have a question though, for you, and a few others that I've read, what do you tell the kids when they ask about their dad, where is he, who is he, and why don't I have one? I don't know how to explain him away. I would love to talk more, if you'd like to, please feel free to email me at [email protected] I hope all goes well with everyone who has shared their story, and I want to say thank you, because you have helped me by just knowing that I am not alone, there are others out there just like me. OH, and nattyis, thank you, my mom pa__sed away a couple of years ago, she won't have the privelege of knowing this granddaughter, but you said exactly what she would have told me. Your daughter is very lucky to have her mother and especially one who already loves and is willing to fight for her grandchild as though it were her own. God Bless You Guys, Thank You.

 

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