To All That Are Afraid Of Being Alone

17 Replies
autum - March 20

this is kinda of topic, but just want to let you all know that YOU CAN DO IT, ive been raising my son by myself for three yrs now. was with the father during pg but really was alone then too. you can do anything, you dont need a man for it, woud be nice yes but you dont need them. i live in my own place and do everything i would need a man for. ex just finished retiling my kitchen floor. no man there!! we can do it. we are strong women, that will come over obsticles. and trust me once that baby is born, you will become MAMA BEAR, nothing will ever hurt that child, and you will provide at whatever the cost. have faith and know that there are millions of single mthers out there. I believe in you.

 

P - March 21

That was very sweet and eloquent. I agree 100%.

 

#2 - March 23

What do you do when you have a child from one father, are pregnant with another guys child. He cheats on you. So you boot him out. You work in the same place, you cant get another job because youre showing. He has a high up position and its not as though he is going to leave, yet. Your whole family hates you. You haven't got a friend in the world and youre BROKE. Behind on all your bills, which amount to roughly 2GRAND a month. What do you do? (Besides use birth control..lol)

 

autum - March 23

#2 is that to me, or a quesstion for yourself

 

AA - March 27

hey #2 i kinda know how you feel...this is my first kid but i konw how it feels to be alone with your family hates you and no friends...i'm in the same position right now...i fell very alone...i know i can do this myself but it's hard and i have no money right now! i'm sorry that you're going through it but i understand!!

 

rebecca - May 3

I am expecting my first child. I know that I am at an age where this is a normal stage in my life. My boyfriend is is acting so strange. Ever since I got pregnant. We are both in our late 20's. He has another child from a previous relationship. THe child was born when he was 20 and he is a good father to her. The problem is now all of a sudden he is getting freaked out. He doesn't know what he wants and it is emotionally draining trying to rea__sure him everything witll be alright. Distance is also a factor.We are presently living in different countries. I am not sure what to do with him. He goes from being unsure of himself to unsure of our relationship every day. It is very hard on me because I am far from my family and I need all the support I can get until I go home. Should I just let him go because I can't his confusion. I feel like I am the one who should be scared because I am all alone and I will be ultimately responsibe for this child. I don't know what to do. I myself am scared because this is a new change for me. He has already been through it and he is not being that supportive. when ever I ask him anything about the future he says' I don't know". I need to have some stability in my life. Am I being selfish? Sometimes I wish he would just go away instead of dragging me through his mess. Does anybody have a similiar situation and can advise me? I appreciate any suggestions. have a wonderful day.

 

Meg - May 3

Why can't men be grown ups? They are all a bunch of self-centered a__ses. The only reason this species hasn't died off is because women are the ones who get pregnant and women and the ones who raise children. If it were up to men, we'd have died off thousands of years ago. Sorry about the anti-men rant. I've heard some rumer that there are good ones out there but I really think it might be a myth.

 

Meg - May 3

Sorry, Rebecca I meant to reply to you when I went off on the men rant. I am in a sort of similar situation. I'm 8 weeks pregnant, boyfriend wanted me to abort and I said I would but couldn't do it. Now I spend all my time rea__suring him that things will be okay and I feel just like you do. I'm the one who is pregnant, I'm the one who will have to raise this baby alone if he bails why the heck can't he be a man and rea__sure me? Roar! I don't think you are being selfish, I think pregnant women deserve loving, giving partners but most men just can't seem to be that. Just curious, how did you guys come to be living in different countries?

 

T - May 27

To Meg and Rebecca, I was browsing through the web and came across your stories. I am currently a single mom. My son is now 15. However, I started out unmarried, young, pregnant, and after a couple months abandoned by my son's father. It was very trying at first, but life had a way of working itself out for me. I wrote a book (short-version of my diary) so that other young girls can read a little bit about what they might expect if they choose to take the single-parent route. You can find it on www.trafford.com t_tled, "Pregnant, Afraid, and Alone!" I stopped trying to keep the father involved. I figured that was his responsibility. (Besides, it was negative energy that seem to drain the life out of me). My advice is to hang on to every ounce of HOPE and just plow through. Good Luck!

 

amy - June 1

amen to that.

 

tt - June 2

T - I did go to the site and I encourage you to do a separate post with your own Title of Question and inform those who read these post about your book. I would buy your book not only for the enjoyment of reading but to support you for your strength.It is great to see any negative experience turned into a positive experience. I hope you reap the rewards of your faith.

 

s - June 2

I'm scared because I don't know how I will afford this on my own. All my B/F wanted in the begining was to have a baby. Now that I am almost 7 months it seems he has other priorities. Haven't heard from him in about month. The prospect of doing it alone doesn't scare me but how can I afford her? Thinking about adoption now. :(

 

tt - June 2

s- you truly can afford it. If in your heart you want to keep the baby there are resources available to help you. WIC provides you and your baby vouchers, such as formula... However adoption is not a bad option if you do not want your child. But know you can do it. God will provide you with the resources to provide. Read the book mentioned in the postings before yours.

 

s - June 2

thanks tt for your inspiration.....this has been so hard for me...i am 25 weeks pregnant now and getting more and more scared every day! I cry all the time. I hope that I can still work and get help too...I want her more than anything in the world! I hurts I want her so bad, but I also want her to have a good life because she deserves it. I don't think I could bear to give her up....

 

aisha - June 2

s..Those tears that you cry are proof that you will be the best mommy that that baby could ever wish for. I know that we all think about the financial aspect of children and its money that you have to lay out but trust me there is NO better mother than the natural one. I know that adoption is an option always but could you spend the rest of your life wondering how your child is..even an open adoption would be hard to me. The time will come when you will have everthing that you need in life...Dont worry about feeding the baby...you will provide for her....when the baby is born file child support..I can not emphasise this more. Trust Me you will make a way. I have 3 sons. Three from a marriage and my ex does nothing for his sons.. not a thing and trust me i live in fear of not being able to provide for them but somehow I do and I make it happen and the proof is my sons are all fed and content and trust me i look at them sleeping and feel so happy that i have them even with the sacrifice and struggle and everything that i have to deal with. You can do it.

 

Rebecca - June 3

Dear Autum, AA, Meg and T, I appreciate all your replies to my situation. Things are a little better now. The father of my baby is now my ex. I needed to ease the confusion in my life and he was trying to find a way out of all the responsibility so I gave it to him. You know how men just become distant so that you want to leave them and then you can’t say they are the bad guy. At first I didn’t want to give in to him but to be honest it became more hurtful hearing him say he doesn’t know if he wants me all the time. For the past few weeks he has been calling me everyday but still nothing has changed. He intends to stay where he in his own country despite the fact that before I got pregnant he and I had talked of plans for either him to move here or myself there by this fall. He expects me to wait for him. What I realized is that a man that really loves you would move mountains for you and if you were carrying his child he would be there in a heart beat. It is hard finding out though that you gave your heart and soul to someone and that they can so easily leave. He wants to just come visit me every 3 months which will not happen because as I have seen in the recent past he doesn’t really do what he says. It is all just a bunch of words. Autum you are right women are strong and we can handle more then men ever call. I appreciate your encouragement. Oh Meg, I live in Toronto, Canada and he lives in Arkansas, US. I met him through a friend up here when he was visiting and then we got together. It is so amazing that 4 days before I told him I am pregnant everything is fine and he was telling me that he knew that I was the one he was meant to live his life with. Can you all believe that he wants to be friends NOW? Men, can really be ridiculous. You don’t get a woman pregnant and then right afterwards says “let’s be friends”. I know that he doesn’t want me to move on with anyone else because he thinks when he is ready then he can come back. But, how can you forget and forgive a man when he abandon’s you at your most vulnerable time? Anyway, Life is about being happy and to any of those women out there that have a similar situation as I do; remember if you do what is right and true in your heart the universe will bless you. I really believe that. I think happiness is about finding joy in the smallest details of life. We are all strong, capable and beautiful women. When women cry they cry all the tears of the world and we have the ability to heal it starting with ourselves and our children. Have a wonderful day. I hope to hear from you soon. Rebecca

 

Rebecca - June 3

Dear AA and #2, I am sorry that you feel alone right now. I can tell you that feeling alone at any time is hurtful to the soul but at this time it is particularly important to find a good support network. My suggestion is to handle one thing at a time. The bills issue, is it possible for you to find housing that is more affordable? Is there any places in your area’s that will help single pregnant mom’s until they get on their feet. What month are you in your pregnancy? I can’t even begin to imagine what it feels like to have to face the father everyday after what has happened. Is it possible you could take your Maternity leave a little sooner? Do you know what? What I have tried to do is find little groups for single moms in my area and I have started to make a few new friends? It can help a little. You are never truly alone and if you would like you can e-mail me anytime you need to talk. My e-mail is [email protected] I hope to hear from you soon. Rebecca

 

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