Vent My Friend Is 18 With 2 Kids And 12 Possible Fathers

5 Replies
Not saying, it's a small world... - February 22

i have a friend who i went to jr. high with and she is 18 now with 2 kids. i know this because my MIL knows her dad. i am also 18 with 2 kids but both my kids belong to my hubby and i never really thought that what she was telling me was true. she told me she slept around but i though it was all talk as we were just 14 or 15. im worried what kind of life her kids will have, the supposed father of her new baby is bis_xual and dont want much to do with them, the supposed father of her older baby used to beat her and they were both on drugs, even when she was pregnant. i'm just venting i guess. im surprised she would do such things. and before anyone asks or makes the comment, yes this is a real post. i have other things to do than make things up to get a rise out of people. i just feel like it hits close to home because our kids are close in age, all the same gender, and were the same age and i could NEVER EVER imagine treating my body or babies that way.

 

tjane - February 22

I am sure she never wouldve imagined it either. Is she proud of this? If she is proud of this then you could probably talk about her but if shes like alot of us on here then we know why she is where she is. She is missing something, emotionally, something and she is making horrible choices because of it. Is she still on drugs? You said they "were on drugs". Maybe shes trying. Im not sure if you were looking for advice but if shes too far out there then maybe you should go your seperate ways but if shes trying then she probably needs a friend. I was friends with someone for 8 years and finally decided that we had just grown apart. Still to this day she hates me because of it and has even told people that I am pregnant from her boyfriend whom I dont even know, but what made me decide to cut it off is i brought her daughter home from babysitting her for the night and we walked in her apartment together and my friend had brought home 3 men from the club the night before that she didnt even know and let them come and stay at her house. Her poor little girl was so confused and was like "where is my mommy?" There was a guy on the couch, a guy on the living room floor and a guy in her bed, then she gets up to come to the door and is walking around half naked in front of all of them in front of me and her daughter. This was one of many instances where I disagreed with her behavior and it made me decide I just had to let it go because we just werent going in the same direction....She talked about every one of her other "friends" to me so I figured why wouldnt she have done the same to me.?" It was a mess but I had to let it go. I dont think she realized the price that her daughter was paying and maybe your friend doesnt either.... Sometimes people straighten up for their kids but sometimes people are blind to the fact that their kids are the people they teach them to be....and she sounds like she is one of them.... She is also only 18 so that may have something to do with it, also I have another friend who doesnt nurture and care for her kids the way she should and she is very selfish, shes spoiled and knows her parents will do it. There are alot of factors that have to do with it and Im sure she isnt saying "oh let me do this to hurt my kids" she is probably clueless like alot of women... Dont stress yourself about it even though I know you feel for her kids but its not yours to deal with especially if she isnt trying to improve herself....

 

Original poster - February 23

She brags on the fact she has been with so many guys. She is almost never with her kids and her parents take care of them financially. She don't have money for diapers, but she has money for drugs and to party. I have already told her that if she didn't straighten up her kids would definately suffer and her response was NOT MY PROBLEM. I am not her friend really anymore, and I'm kinda sad abut it as we were really tight in middle school and jr high. i feel for her kids and resent her for treating them the way she does. this is pretty much a vent and to see if anyone thinks i have a reason to be venting. It just makes me sad.

 

tjane - February 23

Oh I see she is like my friend then, men are more important than her kids and the drugs is horrible. I would be upset too esp since I knew her I even get upset over mothers I do not know who dont do what they are supposed to do. Its sad, My mother was physically there for me but also allowed my step father to abuse me and mistreat me all of my life and I am still at 26 dealing with the things he did to me everyday. I have forgiven my mother because she realizes now and would never do it again but people just dont realize that your parents teach you how to let people treat you and she obviously just doesnt care. Im sad for her kids too and I dont even know her because I know how hard it is to overcome... I would be venting too... esp since you are someone who knows how easily love for your kids should come. It comes so easy to me too, its so easy for me to not abuse my kids I struggled for so long with my parents doing it.... I know first hand she is really messing up.....

 

this is when you know.. - February 24

that the society we live in has become corrupt. we've moved away from God and have become immoral.

 

well - February 25

You both have two kids at 18 but leading different lives. Just imagine being single without your husband to support you. I'm aslo married with two kids and is surrounded by unweb mothers. I try to walk in ther shoes before judging their lifestyles. I think your friend need support from you at this time in her life. Hopefully you will rub off on her. 18 w/2 kids and married....Amazing, just try to be a good role model. Take care

 

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