What Is Wrong With Some Of These Men

6 Replies
Sandi - October 8

I have been reading so many posts and I can't believe how many men just leave when a woman gets pregnant! I am in the very same situation this is my 4th pregancy and I am married. This baby was planned and we have tried to get pregnant for the past 3 years. I had different procedures done, I was on fertility medication etc... I am due in March 2006. When my husband found out that I was pregnant he left me emotionally. Recently he told me that he didn't want the baby. After everything that I had went through! All of the negative pregancy tests over the past 3 years etc... Now I am finally pregnant and this should be a happy time in my life and it's not. He told me last week that he was moving out in 2 weeks. I just can't believe that this is happening to me. What makes these men tick. They want a baby now they don't. I just don't get it. I am severly depressed and I am on antidepressants. My doc put me on a low dose of valum because I am so stressed out. I just don't know what to do. I have never felt so much stress in my entire life! The doc said that the low dossage wouldn't hurt the baby, but with this and all of the stress that I am going through it will be a miracle if the baby turns out alright. I am 39 years old and I can't seem to get myself together. I just don't understand what makes a man do this!? I could use friends right now if anybody is interested in emailing me.

 

Jessica - October 8

HI sandi, I went through something similar but I was never married. My ex left me when I was 3 months. I am now 16 weeks and doing great. If you need someone to talk or vent to I am here. We can share our stories together. I think you forgot to put your e-mail address above but let me know if you want to talk. I am sorry you are going through this right now but It will be okay. He probably is just scared.

 

I wish I knew - October 9

I felt the same way you do for the better part of my pregnancy. It is very stressful and difficult to realize that you have to go through a pregnancy alone. I'm 7 months now and the only thing running through my head is my baby (it's a boy!). I can't say how I got through, I just woke up everyday and tried to focus on my baby. At this point, it's the only thing within our control anyway. There is nothing we can do about the fathers of our children, they are going to do what they want whether we like it or not. It's always most difficult in the beginning, but it can only get better, right? We know it can't get worse (smile). When times get hard, remember how bad you wanted this baby. Someday you will be telling them how hard you tried to have them and how good it felt when you found out you were pregnant. That feeling goes beyond the father. When I get stressed out about the father of my baby, I write my son letters. I tell him how important it is to do the right thing. (without talking bad about his father) I tell him about honesty, and integrity, and all the characteristics that a real man should possess. So my advise to you is to turn your negative feelings about the father of your child into positive advise to your child that they can one day read and know that they were wanted, even before they were conceived. Let your child know how important they are to you, and it will be hard to even think about their father. my email is [email protected] if you need to talk. good luck.

 

Tonia - October 9

Sandi... Girl I know exactly how you feel and it happened to me I'm 39wks pregnant. When I found out that I was pregnant I was over filled with lots of joy until my ex told me that he didn't think that the baby was his. This happened back in Feb. And I did not know how to handle it at all. I cried constantly couldn't focus on anything but what he said but now I am doing great I don't need him around making me feel unhappy. I put my trust in God and what I was going through. I'm so excited about having this baby with him or without him. I also found out around 32wks of preg. he was messing with 3 other girls. But now he's calling me concerned about me allowing him in the delivery room. My question is why do you want to be there to see a child born who you don't think is yours. He's constantly stressing that it is important for him to be there. Oh well he wont be in my delivery room. He was suppose to start saving money way back in Feb to pay for a DNA test but hasn't saved jack. But was able to purchase a 2005 Nissan Altima. Well he wont be driving it to long. We will be in court to determine paternity and how much he's going to be paying for child support. Sandi the only thing I can tell you girl is keep your head up and you let God deal with his b___t. Right now you don't have the stregnth or the power. How strong is your trust is in God. You'll make it. I was a single mother of 2 now I will be a single mother of 3 and I will survive. Enjoy your pregnancy and don't let him still your joy. You've got to take it back.

 

shelly - October 28

man are a__s holes dont trust them

 

Nicky - December 4

My man did the same thing, he stopped talking to me over night-I was 7 weeks now i'm almost 27 weeks and he just made contact with me. He still is not taking responsibility, and to top it off he's moving away asap-before it's born. Hun, I'm sorry this happened to you, I know how heart breaking it is. I hope one day you find the love that you deserve =)

 

Heather - December 31

Sandi, It might make you feel “better” to know that there are others going thru this with you. You might not feel better, but all the same you’re not alone. Here’s my story: My husband (of 3 years) and I found out we were pregnant June 8th and our baby is also due March 2006. We were both excited – we were actually starting the family we had dreamed about. But somewhere along the way we changed. He wanted to be single and party more and I no longer wanted to be in atmospheres where there was drinking and smoking going on. In a sense I matured and he wanted a wife who partied. I have cried almost everyday of this pregnancy because of the way he’s treated me. I have even moved back home to be in the supportive arms of my family, thinking that if I left he would realize there needed to be change and that things between us would get better. I’ve been here for over a week now and things are worse now then before I left. We’re probably going to get a divorce. It started early in the pregnancy. We fought all the time and eventually separated. It took about 2 months to get things back on track, but he eventually moved back home. Then we decided to move in with his parents to save money (by not having to pay the expenses of renting a place – electricity, water, garbage, rent, etc) and that’s when the problems started again. He stopped coming him after work – he’d go out drinking with his friends and sometimes I wouldn’t see or hear from him till the next day. I even caught him having “inappropriate” relationships with other females on his “Myspace” account. He even planned on buying a plane ticket to go out and meet one of them. Twice when he went out “with the boys” he wouldn’t let me come with him. He said it would make the guys feel uncomfortable. But in reality he and his boys were meeting females and of course that would hinder his pimp’n abilities if his pregnant wife came along. Well one of these girls he actually exchanged numbers with and within two weeks time had even spent the night at her house. He’s spent the night at two girls’ houses that I know of and lied about exchanging numbers with them. And to make matters worse, my husband blames me for everything that’s gone wrong in our marriage. In his mind I start all the arguments, I make him cuss at and disrespect me, It’s my fault for not fulfilling all his needs and making him go outside of our marriage to get it. It’s all my fault. And every time I try to explain to him how he makes me feel, he yells and cusses and twists it all back on me. I thought husbands were supposed to make there wives feel beautiful and loved when they are pregnant. Not ugly, rejected and stupid. I’m having a hard time dealing wit this and like you I am severely depressed. I can’t stop crying. How am I supposed to be happy when the one person I gave my everything to no longer wants me? I feel your pain Sandi and I hope God brings both of us out of this onto stronger ground. Take care and even thought I know you don’t want to try and take care of yourself. We can only begin to heal when we start loving ourselves again. Sorry this is so long, but thank you for reading it.

 

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