What Should I Do Pg1248604029

2 Replies
purecha - July 26

I am writing his email because I would like some advice in a situation where I dont know what to do. I am 9 months pregnant. My due date is in about a month. Throughout my preganacy I have lived as a single mom. This is my story. I dated my childs father 10 years ago for about a month. At that time I was 22 years old and he was 25 years old. At the time we broke up I had felt things moved quickly and then he came accross to me as a smooth talker and kInda of user. He practicially moved in with me in my apartment within a month. 10 years later we meet again online. We werent certain of who we were until we meet in person. Things moved so quickly and within a week we slept together. Now I know I shoulda done better than that. I read the book...I know I was suppose to give him 90 days. Honestly this man got in my head because we dated in the past and had slept together in the past as well. Anyways we slept together quiclky and dated for about 2 weeks. During that time I concieved, but had no idea. After about a few weeks I started to feel the chemistry die down and I broke up with him. A month after we broke up I found out I was pregnant.I immediately told him and his reply was that he missed me during he time we were away and now at I was having his baby I was his forever. To make a long story short from there he began to feed me with smooth word after smooth word. I began to feel like he was feeding me hype game because months passed and we werent spending any time together. He would eturn my calls when he wanted to and morning sickness was getting stronger and stronger. Finally this is the what broke everything for me i was about 5 months pregnant hadnt seen him in months and over the phone he tells me he cares about me and the child and wants to be with us but the reason he has been shying away is hes stressed out on how he can take care of a family because he owes thousands to the IRS, they just started garnishing his bank account and he needed money for rent. and so he asked me if I could help him pay his rent. 1ST of all Im not in any position to help him financially. 2ndly I felt like he was trying to use me seeing we werent on tight grounds speaking or seeing eachother. So I spoke my mind and we got into a argument. That was the last time we spoke.It has been months an I am about to deliver my baby. My family is extremely suppotive of me. I am 32 years old and this is my first child. The daddy has 3 other kids with the same mother which he seems to be involved with the kids seeing them every other weekend. My question is this personally ive given up on a romantic relatonship with the father because I feel hes in capable of havung one with me but how should I handle the relationship with his soon to be daughter? Should I call him before she is born to find out what his plans are in terms of being involved with her after shes born Immediately( within week of birth to let him know she is born and see what his thought and actions are? Or file for child support after she is born and he can find out in the mail his daughter is born and do every thing throught the court or state as far as child support and visitation? My family wants me to do the last question. Beacuase he has been no emotional, moral or financial support during this entire pregnanacy. As an outsider looking in what do you think? Sincerely,

 

Grandpa Viv - July 26

Looking from the outside, it seems you have a b.s. artist on your hands. Not only that, but he has no money and three other kids to support. I'm not sure I would want this guy influencing my child's life any more than I could help. I would not even want to spend any emotional capital on child-support effort if it is avoidable - it will lead to 18 years of conflict. Embrace the support from your parents, who have been longing for a grandchild, and get on with your life. The baby will be a treasure for you all! Good luck!

 

babyb - July 29

I completly agree with Grandpa. Move and never let him know this child. I knwo that would be hard as this baby has siblings, but you do have to think of your daughter and you have to ask yourself if you would like that guy influencing your daughter, perhaps letting her down and breaking promises or who knows what. i am sure its a tough decision but your daughter is your number one priority. You'll be ok without financial support too. You can do it!

 

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