13 Yr Daughter 18 Year Old Boyfriend Pregnant

66 Replies
John - April 7

My daughter is 13, and within a few months will be 14. She has been in love with this 18 year old guy from our church for a year and a half now. we have stopped her from seeing him multiple times and threatened the boy with calling the cops once. we know his parents and we have all talked about the situation before. now my 13 year old daughter is pregnant, she wants to keep the baby. What do we do about the 18 year old boy since she is a minor and he is legally an adult?

 

Jade - April 7

John...first of all i would let her keep the baby because abortion is very much murder. Seeing how i went through something like this, she will be angry with you if you make her give it up and your relationship wont be the same with her afterwards. Concerning the boy, I mean i'm not all knowing but i would keep rules tight but still let her see him, but not by herself. Like a youth group thing or a family outing. Try to get to know him alittle better so that it isn't as akward. Once you get to know him, you might feel that things will work out. 5 years difference isn't that big of a gap, so my advice would be to allow them to be together and take it slow and dont threathen her or push her into things cause then she will hate you more and rebel more. GOOD LUCK JOHN!!!! all the best.

 

John - April 7

We (me and my wife) know the boy very well, and he knows our family. me and my wife have been opposed to them going out because we belived she needed to grow up. so we forbade her from seeing and communicating with him. her brother and sister who are older don't mind that much that they like eachother, in fact they think they are great together, we have never supported them, but now it seems we don't know what to do. he wants to be part of my daughters life, and the baby's as well. my wife wants to turn him in, however i believe it is out of anger at the moment.

 

Jade - April 7

It most likely is out of anger, but i have a feeling your wife will be like my mother was when i was young....she loved my baby once i had it, she alwasy wanted to be around him and she grew into me and my boyfriend ( now husband) She is ok with the whole thing now, and nothing seems like it could go wrong. John sometimes when things seem like they are all going down hill maybe thats the time when God wants you to trust him the most. He knows what hes doing. Give it a chance and put your faith in him. It wont work if you dont try. All the love!

 

Jade - April 7

My husband and I are 4 years apart, and i got pregnant at 15. So he would have been 19, and its been 5 years since then.

 

Jade - April 7

Dont let your daughters baby grow up without a daddy to love it... I know i never had a dad and it was horrible. If he wants to be apart of it now let him, cause once you push him away long enough he will feel ignored and unloved and he might not want to be later on.

 

John - April 7

do you think the boy should move in? he is going to college in another state right now... what should i say to him?

 

kathy - April 7

as far as moving in i personally think that nothing is wrong with that with the fact that he is going to college that tell u that he is probally a good young man after all he has his life planned out..for Christ sake let him be apart of your daughter and the babies life cause like jade says if u push him away he will feel ignored and unlove so he may not see any use of trying anymore so if he wants to be there let him.

 

jeff - April 8

personally, i think she deserved it because she is only 13. U as a parent should look after her and should have stopped the relationship b4 it went to far. Too late for that now, and what the helll is ur daughter having s_x at 13 for?!

 

Audrey - April 8

John- Since he is 18 you can press charges of statutory rape on him if you wish. Whether that causes both him and your daughter to realize what they did was wrong is up to them. They both should have known better, especially the 18-year-old. Sit down with your daughter and discuss what she wants to do now, whether she wants to finish school or deal with the difficulty of having a child. Since her body hasn't finished developing, carrying a baby to term can be dangerous. Best wishes!

 

Grandpa Viv - April 8

Fools step in where angels fear........ you have my sympathy in this predicament. As I see it you have two options - termination, or allowing this nascent family to form. The baby will be as much a late addition to your family as an early addition to that of the daughter. You have evidently not been too successful keeping the two of them apart - you are going to have to go with the flow within the limits of the law. By the time the baby is a year old the age difference will be less important, and by the time he is out of college she will be graduating high school and it will be appropriate for them to move in together, a__suming they are still seeing each other. Family counseling may be of some help here. Many of these young pregnancies seem to take place when a child feels unloved in the home. Good luck!

 

katie - April 8

u say she is in love with this guy and shes carrying his child..shes goin need him there to support her and stuff let it go okies i no it wont seem rite to u but it will b for the best cause she will hate u for along time if u press charges and the stress cud affect the baby..just think bout it first before u do anything xxx katie

 

Nanna R - April 8

John my daughter was 15 and her boyfriend was 21 when she fell pregnant. I looked on the point of view did l want my grandchild to grow up knowing that l had instigated her father being registered as a s_x offender and possibly not being arround in her life for a few years. Did l want my daughter to hate and resent me for taking the route of pressing charges. No l didnt. I chose the route to rea__sure them both that i would do every thing l possibly could to support them whatever choices they made. And yes obviously l now have a grand daughter who is very much loved and cared for by everyone. It will be a very tough descision whatever you chose to do, but ultimatly keep the lines of communication open with both your daughter and her boyfriend and his family, as they will all need support and they too could be a support for you. Good luck with the future.

 

motherof20 - April 20

John, tough situation to be in. First, I'm not sure where you live but where I come from this is Statutory Rape - no matter how you want to size it up. That's the law here. What does the boy think of the pregnancy? Unfortunately, the chances of your daughter and this boy staying together forever are slim to none. I was a teen mom - I had my son when I was 15 - my son is now 21 years old and the most precious thing that has ever happened to me. It was by far the hardest road to travel but fortunately for me I succeeded in finishing school and going off to college because I had my family to help me. My only suggestion to you is to get your daughter into some counseling - let her decide between keeping this baby and adoption - if you push her into a decision she will resent you forever. Whatever you and your family decide - you will live with it for the rest of your life. I was a teen educator for pregnancy and it was one thing I tried to instill on the students - if you keep your child you live with that forever the responsibility is forever (my choice because I had the support); adoption will only make your daugther question years down the road - where, when, how is the baby etc.... and then the abortion - when your daughter gets married and wants to start a family and sees her child for the first time - it will eat away at her that she terminated one many years before that. Please find out what the boys intentions are also; is he willing to support this baby? God knows he's old enough to take the responsibility. I wish you and your family the best in your upcoming life changing decisions - but remember - this is still your daughter, she made a mistake - WE ALL DO!

 

meredith - April 20

the opposition to him is what made them stay together in the first place....just be very supportive of them, they will be the ones deciding what to do. in either case, love her unconditionally, and tell her so. try to be as tolerant of the guy as possible, otherwise you may drive a wedge in between you and your daughter, trust me i know. maybe seek some counseling, there are wonderful ppl out there who know how to help. good luck!

 

to john - April 20

I don't think that it is wise to persue legal action, because it might be more stress than you can handle. If she is keeping the child you and your family to need to have a sit down with his family and come to terms with the situation. There is a little life in the mix now. Don't make any hasty decesions

 

casey - April 29

smack the c___p out of her...duh??

 

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