16 And 8 Weeks Pregnant But Bf Wants Abortion HELP

11 Replies
sara - October 2

im 16 yrs old, and im 8 weeks pregnant. im with the father of the baby still, but he wants me 2 abort, which i dont really want too. but im scared about how to tell my parents as i no they will go mad, can anyone give me any ideas on how to tell them, i dont have the guts to tell them face to face, and what do i say to them?? also, does the father have any say on what i do? and what do i do if he leaves me if i decide to keep it, which he has threatend to do.

 

My answer - October 2

Your boyfriend cannot force you to have an abortion... that is for you to make that choice or not. You should talk to your parents immediately... they will be mad and probably upset, but they can help you make some choices about what comes next. If your boyfriend decideds to leave... that doe not take away his responsibility for your child. He will have to pay child support. Even if he doesn't have a job now... someday he will, and then he will have to support your child. You cannot force him to see your child either, but that is an adult concern that you will have to accept. You are an adult now by virtue of where your life is going... you have some serious issues to work through.

 

Ashlie - October 2

Sara, okay the father can not make you get an abortion and just because he wants one is no reason to kill your baby. An abortion is something you will both have to live with the rest of your lives, and something you will never forgive yourself for. Plus once the father is old enough (if he isnt already 18) he will have to pay child support, so even if he does leave you he will have to support your baby. Another thing, I realise it is not easy to tell your parents, but it is something you have to do, and no matter what, nothing you do is going to make things go any different then if you waited to tell them. You need to tell them right away and get their support, because you will need it. But please do not kill your baby, if anything put it up for adoption, you can even look into "open adoption" where you can still see the baby after it has been adopted out. Good luck and let me know how things go okay.

 

chelsea - October 2

hi sara,my names chelsea,im 15 and im 6 weeks pregnant,my boyfriend,stuart,19,is overjoyed,i am scared as im stil in school,i didnt even tell my mum,my other half did and she went balistic but then understood ounce i told her im keeping it and thats that,at the end of the day your b/f cant tell you what to do,i mean it is his child aswell but its YOU that has to carry it inside you for 9 months and YOU that gives birth to your child not him....dont let him intimidate you...you decide what you want to do its your choice no one else...and remeber its your life. if i can do it at 15...then you can hunni. best wishes. chelsea x x x

 

Lina - October 2

Hi Sara and Chelsea. Im 18 years old. About 3 weeks ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. But let me tell you the truth about things. I love that little boy to death. He is my joy day in and day out. But its HARD. Mind you, I have the help of many including my mom and yes, me and my boyfriend are still together. But its alot of work. My baby is a pretty good baby. He doesnt cry, only when hes wet and hungry. And its STILL alot of work. You guys are already pregnant and I admire that youre going to do the right thing and not abort. So sara dont do it. If your boyfriend isnt ready to be a father then he should of thought twice about getting you pregnant. This is your baby, your body, and this experience will be all yours and no one elses. No one will feel how you will feel for the next 7 months or so. No one will feel that mother love when you see your baby for the first time. And so no one has the right to take that away from you. I think we all should have waited longer to have kids, but now that its done, go through it with pride and work hard for yourself and that little angel. As for your boyfriend, once the baby comes along and he wants to leave you, send him to hell. Guys will never understand the pain you WILL go through to bring that child into this world. I had to have a c-section. GIRLS IT WAS TERRIBLE! Pain is not the word for it. And no boyfriend of mine no matter how in love we are will ever understand that. But you will. If your boyfriend decides to leave you then keep on stepping, i know its hard because you probably love him. But if he loves you back hell respect your decision. And dont put him on child support (unless you financially need it). Stand on your own to feet. After all your child will only have you. Its a beautiful thing, it really is. Youll understand when you give birth. Now about telling your parents. I dont know how bad your parents are. MINE ARE BAD!!! And sooner or later they were supporting me more than anyone and helping me more than anyone. They loooooooooove their grandson. Just be a woman and tell them. No matter how or when its gonna be ugly at first. Think of it this way, the faster you tell them the faster theyll get over it and the faster youll be decorating your babys room! Good luck. No matter what happens remember it WILL get better. Trust me it will. Good luck Sara and Chelsea if you have any questions on pregnancy and the whole "shabang" let me know cuz i been through it all!

 

chelsea - October 3

thanks lina for all the good advice babe,i realise its going to be very hard,ive moved into my b/f's place today,i mean he has a 3 bedroom place and i am very happy,i dont believe in abortion or adoption so im going to have this lickle bubba,and i am looing forward to it lol :) HONESTLY.....what does birth/labour feeli like? lots o love xxxxxxx

 

Lina - October 3

Hey Chelsea. Well i was in labor for not too long. I dialated 6 cm before i had to have a c-section. The contractions feel like really REALLY bad period cramps. In the beginning for me the contractions were like 10-15 mins apart each lasting like 20 secs. It is painful but it doesnt get really bad until youre getting closer to birth. The most exciting part is when your water breaks! Cuz then youre like freaking out cuz u KNOW the baby is coming and you cant stop it and all these emotions come out like DAMN! Am i ready? and bla bla. But when you see that baby for the first time you will ball like a baby yourself. Its so beautiful. Its the strongest love you will feel trust me. This need to protect him/her will come over you and BAM! Youre forced to be a woman :) Now i had a c-section and trust me i woulda rathered pushed that baby out. Be careful doctors now a days will do anything for you to have a c-section girl ANYTHING! And it is way worse than labor. Good luck! Any more questions? I have one, did you get kicked out or your parents let you move in with your bf? I decided to stay at home cuz trust me you will need the extra help. LOVE!!!!!!!!

 

Natalie - October 3

dont have an abortion, you dont want it and it will rule over your life for the entire of the time you live. your parents will find out sooner or later, tell them you need to tell them something, you want them to really take time to listen to you before they go nuts, and you want to discuss something with them because you are absolutely petrified and you need them more than anything. explain you love them so much you didnt want to leave it until they found out so you just want to tell them and get it in the open. and just be honest. and if you wanna do yourself a favour, tell your mum first, and let her tell your dad. also explain how you dont want to have an abortion and how you would like to carry the pregnancy through.

 

chelsea - October 3

lina,thank you hun,thats all helpfull info. my parents let me move in with him because my other half wants to be a proper family so thats what i decided. lots o love xxxx

 

lauren - October 3

im 16 and 6 weeks pregnant an im sorry but if my bf told me to have an abortion i would tell him were to go because if he is good enough to sleep with you with out pretection than he has to suffer the concequences as well as what you do an if he wants to finish with you then tell him to go ahead because i bet as soon as the babys born he will understand why you wanted to keep it. As for thelling your parents i found it really hard because i thought they would go of their heads but acctually the are really understanding so i would tell them soon. dont worry xxxx

 

sara - October 3

thanks everyone for their comments. thanks lina 4 all the gd comments and advice! i havent decided how im goin 2 tell my rents, but im def guna keep it! even if my bf dus leave me!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

chelsea - October 3

good on you lina,well done babe,memba if i can do it,you can. god bless xxxx

 

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