17 Year Old Guy My Girlfriend Is Pregnant What Now

5 Replies
shane0109 - February 5

Hello, Me and my girlfriend have done two pregnancy tests over the last couple days and they have both said positive. I have alot of questions... and Im very grateful with anybody willing to provide answers. We both disagree strongly with abortion for numerous reasons... so that is definetly not happening. We agreed that we are going to have the baby. We have been dating for over a year and a half, and are both strongly in love with one another. We make all decisions together, and always have. We both have jobs in which I work full time and she works part time, and we both do our school online, so classes and such are flexible and it wont be effected that much. So first question... telling parents and how... She has been raised her whole life in a very christian family, and me not so much. I have been going to church and all that for the last year, but most of it is not understood, and i just dont believe it. Telling my parents will not be an issue as my mom is very helpful and always has been with everything. The problem... telling her parents. Any tips and hints (how long to wait, how to do it, etc.)?? Secondly, having just found out she is pregnant, what do we do now? Go to a doctor? What symptoms other than the ones i will explain should we be expecting? Thirdly: She has been really sick over the last week. Everything she eats, she throws up. Everytime she doesnt eat she is starving and when she eats she feels like total c__p. She has only been eating small meals too, cause even eating as much as just bread makes her feel like she has eaten way to much. Is this normal? Fourth: What are the Canadian, and or Albertan laws regarding teen pregnancy, and how does maternity leave, etc. work? Fifth: Should we get married? I think that we should... however Im only 17... and shes only 16. I havent asked her what she thinks about this... I just want to know what anybody else thinks. I am pretty sure laws in Canada are that if your under 18, however you have had s_x, etc. with the girl then you could even without parental consent. And my last question is her weight loss. Over the last week and a half she has lost 5 to 10 pounds (she weighed about 117 two weeks ago, and now weighs around 108.) Is this normal, or could it just be due to the fact that she cant eat? Any answers would be greatly appreciated, Thanks!

 

kanyesha - February 5

well first of all if you have accepted that you are going to have the baby and take care of the baby no matter what then the next step is to talk about the entire subject togethter first. You have to find out what you both want as expecting teen parents and consider the benefits and risks of everything.You HAVE to tell your parents but i think that you both know your parents and how they will react so ONLY you 2 can decide how to tell them but do it together it might be easier. Make sure you tell them about your plans on having the baby and what you are willing to do because in the end. it will be a little hard w/o family support. Make sure you tell them when both of you are ready to accept what they will say but DO NOT wait 2 long. Next you can go to planned parenthood and take another test to make sure.Ask them of any OB/GYN that they know of in your area. This is where your parents might have to get involved because you need your health insuranct information unless you already have it.Unfortunately she will b really sick until maybe the 3rd or 4th month and she will loose weight but make sure she eats something like crakers,bread,fruits and gingerale helps alot also. Try eating something small before starting the day the longer she waits to eat the more she will be sick. IDk about the CANADIAN thing but im sure you can look it up on the internet. As far as getting married i know you love each other but i would wait because pregnancy changes alot in a person male and female. i dont think that just because your having a baby you have to get married its just not a good enough reason and you 2 have not lived together yet and that is a big part of getting to know each other but when it is the right time you should feel it but make sure it's not JUST becaue you are pregnant. Also with getting sick yes she will loose about 5-15 pounds but TRUST me she will gain them back in the next couple of months. MAke sure you dont wait too long 2 go 2 the doc tho bcuz she might be throwing up her stomach linning and you dont want anything to happen to the baby.any more questions just ask bcuz i am 17 and preggo also due in march so i know exactly how you 2 feel. GOOD LUCK THO!!!!

 

amanda17 - February 5

Question one: Tell her to tell her parents immediately. The sooner the better. You may or may not want to be there when it happens because more than likely the blame will be directed at you more than her. I think it's just easier for the parents to cope that way... That's what my parents did, and continue to do. Just come right out and say the truth, though. Don't beat around the bush. Tell her to say "Mom. We need to talk. I'm going to have a baby." If they d__n her to eternal hellfire well, there's really not much you can do about that. Second question: Go to a doctor right away. Start her on prenatal vitamins, you can get them anywhere vitamins are sold (a pharmacy or drug store for instance) If she throws up her vitamins, have a doctor help you figure out what kind of vitamins are best for her. In the mean time give her anything she will stomach (i.e. flinstone's vitamins work well) They are EXTREMELY important toward the health of your baby ESPECIALLY if she is not eating well. As for her symptoms. She is going to be pregnant for around 38-42 weeks. These weeks are separated into trimesters. Now, every woman is different, but usually the trimester symptoms go like this: First trimester (1-12 weeks) throwing up, tiredness, moodiness, sore b___sts, darkening around the nipples, and frequent urination. Second trimester (13-26 weeks) The vomiting symptom usually wears off at this point. For most women the second trimester is the easiest. Her belly will begin to grow and hopefully she'll be gaining more weight by this time. Third trimester (27-42 weeks) For a lot of people this trimester is the worst. I personally didn't think it was as bad as the first though. Her belly will be huge, she'll have a lot of very uncomfortable cramps and pains ALL the time. The baby will be pushing against all her organs making it uncomfortable to do pretty much anything. She will be very tired, have swollen feet, and just wanna lay in bed all day. She may experience braxton hicks in the second or third trimester. This is when the stomach hardens and it may or may not be painful. These are false contractions and are just her body preparing for labor. Third Question: Being sick is normal. It's called morning sickness. For some women it lasts throughout the entire pregnancy. For most it ends in the first trimester. Fourth Question: I'm not sure about Canadian laws, but we occasionally have pregnant teens from Canada who have never mentioned anything. I live in California and there are supposedly a ton of laws I broke by becoming pregnant at age 17, but I never experienced any punishment other than speaking to a social security worker... But that was because my dad called her and told her a heap of lies. I think you'll be okay and have the same rights as any other pregnant couple. However the jobs you have may look down on her for being pregnant. I believe it is illegal for them to fire her for that reason... But they may find another reason if you catch my drift. Fifth Question: DO NOT get married for the soul reason that you are having a child together. You're only 17, you've only been together for one year which is really no time at all. Get married when you're older and you really feel as though you two are going to spend the rest of your lives together. Right now you're not experienced enough to know if you really feel that way. If you think you do, that's just your hormones. Try not to let them get the best of you. Last Question: Yes her weight loss is due to her lack of eating and throwing up. Weight loss is not necessarily normal, but it happens when morning sickness is really bad. You need to see a doctor to make sure she starts gaining weight because that's important to your baby's health, and hers as well. She needs to gain a certain amount of weight (based on her weight I'd say they'd probably expect her to gain a little over 35 pounds) by the end of her pregnancy. Make sure you get her prenatal vitamins right away to make up for the nutrition she isn't getting.

 

amanda17 - February 5

Oh yeah, I got pregnant when I was 17, and my daughter is 8 months old now. So... I've been there.

 

Malica - February 5

In Canada you can take up to 52 weeks (50 of which are paid) for Maternity/Parental leave. Provided the person taking the leave has been employed for a full 52 weeks with their employer to qualify. Maternity leave can start as early as 12 weeks before your estimated due date. The first two weeks of this leave is unpaid. The mother gets 15 weeks of maternity leave. Then either the mother or the father or it can be split between the two can take the remaining 37 weeks of parental leave. Both Maternity and Parental leave are 55% of your regular wages up to $413/week. I'm not sure about Alberta, but in Ontario both can actually take Parental leave but only one will get paid for it. Google for "parental leave Alberta" and you'll find the province of Alberta's page on Maternity and Parental leave. Although like any good Canadian Government program the funding formulas aren't very straight forward at all. :)

 

ilovedro08 - February 7

Everything will be alright my b/f and i felt the same way when we found out i was pregnant..his 17 and im 18..thinking that what now...how are we going to continue lif with a kid...but everything happens for a reason..i suggest u tell your parents first and maybe you all could tell her family calmly..i don't think that her parents will make her abort it if ur g/f doesnt want to .. the worst that could happen is if she get kicked out of her house..i suggest just telling both parents before the belly startes showing..it is ok to loose a couple of pound i my self lost some pounds..make sure she eats very healthy and avoids carrying heavy objects..also she cant be stress as much and support her when she hits the mood swings...everything will be alright

 

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