38 Weeks Physically And Emotionally Abuse PLZ Help

34 Replies
Corrine321 - June 5

Well, Ive been hiding quite a few things... My boyfriend who is 19 (im 15) has been abusing me ever since we started actually having an actual relationship, we been together for almost 3 years.. Every day we end up fighting, and he calls me all these names like whore, s___t, ugly, worthless, a bi*ch.. and some other names that hurt me very very badly.. I end up crying and he yells at me more.. When I first told him i was pregnant he was happy about it and stuff but then a month or two later he started getting very very mad about things, we had a huge fight one day when i was 6-10 weeks pregnant and he started hitting me and had me down on the bed holding my wrists so hard and kneeling on my stomach.. I told him to stop, so he did and i was crying, he asked me why i was crying and i told him he hurt me and he told me to shut up and he pushed me down and slapped me across the face! I never lost my baby girl, thank god, but I just have a feeling that if i stay with him, its not going to change... But I cant tell my mom that hes doing this, she will want him ti go to jail or she wont believe me.. I still love him.. I just dont know what to do anymore... Please help me.. I dont know anymore?

 

Grandpa Viv - June 5

Ouch! You are right, it is not going to change. With considerable hard work you may come to understand why you feel love for this monster. It probably has to do with the fact that you were abused by one of your parents when you were little. What we take for love from our primary caregiver ends up feeling like love in later relationships. I know women who have gone through three marriages and arrived at middle age before they realized what was going wrong along these lines. AIM ppowb for more. Good luck with the delivery.

 

marie7 - June 5

Corrine, I don't want to sound harsh, but you need to get away from this guy even if he is your baby's daddy. If he hits and is emotionally abusive to you, what do you think he may do to your baby. Babies need a loving, calm environment free from dangers. Any sort of physically abuse to a baby can have life altering effects...brain damage, even death. Please think about this, who do you love more... your child or the emotionally and physically abusive father, because your right, if you stay with him, he probably won't change--sure he might say he'll be better, but to tell you the truth if a man ever hit me it would be over....and that we be after I tried to kick the &^% out of him. If you don't want to take my word for it, I am sure others will advise you the same.

 

young_mum_2_b - June 5

hey sweetie, its Jae...now after everything we've spoken about..being that we are similar in so many ways i'm suprised you haven't mentioned this before to me. Hunnie i know how much u kove Zach and i can understand why you'd be scared of leaving him, but i'm tellin you as a friend sweetie, you have to get away from him. After everything you've told me about him, i dont think you or Brooklynn should be around someone like that. He may never stop abusing you and may one day do the same to your little girl, Brooklynn deserves better and so do you hunnie. You still have alot of support from your mum and friends which is good so you wont be alone and i'm more than happy to help anytime you need it, but sweetie what if the next time he's on top of you he seriously hurts you or hurts Brooklynn? I know you dont want him to go to jail either so maybe if you leave your better off explaining to your mum that you dont think its suitable because he is always out drinking and you dont think he's responsible?? Hunnie it is hard i know but you and Brooklynn are better off without him, you'll be a great mum even if he isn't around because you'll love her and do anything for her, you just need to make the decision if that includes leaving him to protect her and yourself, good luck with it all sweetie, and please let me know how you go...especially being so close to having your baby!!

 

krista-lee - June 6

omg Corrine, dump his a__s!!!! if he can hurt you like that knowing you're pregnant with his baby, image what he might do after the baby! He could even start abusing the little girl! You've gotta tell him to stay away from you unless he's gonna get councilling. he cant be doing that kind of thing to you! even if you love him hes hurting you and your baby.

 

Mandy1984 - June 6

hey corrine, we have chatted on piczo and that, I am not gonna tell you to get rid of him because I know its not that easy!! I am also not saying keep him around! Its easy for people to tell you dump him or what ever but its gonna be the hardest thing you will ever have to do. What I would suggest is you DO talk to your mother, I know you said she might not believe you but its worth a shot... Would jail be that bad? I mean if someone breaks the law is that not what you would want? I can understand you love him but have you ever heard of a saying 'tough love' You are going to have to be tough now, even if you don't press charges you could call into your local police station and ask just for advice, you wouldn't have to tell them anything (names ect...) but prehaps get a beter idea of what would happen if you did tell. Usally children are affected really bad by domestic violence, your bruises will heal and fade but you daughters memories will not if she ever see her father hit you... I wish I could give you an answer or even fix it for you sweetie I really do!! Take care and keep me updated via here or piczo, If i could give you a hug I would !! ((((((HUG))))))

 

kenodra - June 6

hey sweetie... i know the feeling. okay. we talk anyways but heres so advise... i know the feeling.... trust me i do. i dont believe that he wont CHANGE he has to care about you or he wouldn't even be with you i dont care what other people think. dec 31, 2005 me n my boyfriend got into a fight at my MOMS house the neighbors called the cops he went to jail for domestic abuse. and he did him lots of good he has to take BP cla__ses which is domestic abuse cla__ses and he has done well since. dont say they wont change because i siad that and my boyfriend proved me wrong. yeah i was mad at the time when he went to jail he was mad at me but we worked everything out. but dont let him EVER I MEAN EVER LAY his hands on u in front of your daughter and i have a feeling if you dont get him help he will do something to your DAUGHTER so you better watch it. thats all i have to say any questions sweetie e-mail or tlak to me on msn. kay!? im here for you and i know what ur going trhough. just have some faith. if you really love him and you believe he loves you, then have faith in him. he might change, he might not want to go to these cla__ses or whatever but if he does you will see the changes fast i mean fast it helps them. seriously so in the long run its better if something happens and he has to spend 5 days in jail becuase court orders these cla__ses and he has to go or a warrant will issue for his arrest. just some advice. kendra

 

Corrine321 - June 6

Grandpa Viv- No i havent gotten abused by my parents or any realatives, i know his dad is very abusive towards his mother.. But i know he got help for that. Kendra- I have been talking to him, and stuff and i mentioned something about how im scared for him to see Brooklynn and he started to cry, because he said I love you and my daughter so much and i dont want you to take away the 2 best things in my life. He said he would stop all of the things that he says and does, but I really dont think he will.. He has to prove alot to me.. And i am not going to ever break up with him because i know deep down inside he loves me and i know he loves his daughter know matter what! I really do love him too! So i hope things get better fast!

 

midnight_drift - June 6

Alright. I don't want to bring anything up here, so please e-mail me at [email protected] or my AIM name, but just trust me when I say I know exactly how you feel. Hunny... my advice is this. When your mom or someone is home, go in the other room to talk to him. That way you guys can't yell, he wont risk your mom finding out etc. Tell him you can't handle him hurting you anymore, that no matter what you do, no one has the right to hit you. Be calm. Tell him that if things don't change, then you can't be together, (Even though you want to.) If things start escalating, just go in the other room. Let him calm down then come back. Tell him that you aren't going to get anywhere without each other talking, and suggest that you both go to counseling together. If he doesn't want to make these steps, then I have to inform you that it is time to leave the relationship. Please e-mail me. A lot of people really can't understand because they aren't going through what you are, or didn't. So please talk to me.

 

corinne - June 6

Oh yeah my bf used to call me names and was very mean to me verbally. He's never physically touched me in a harmful way but when the verbal abuse started to happen I left him. It made him see that I wasn't going to take his c___p anymore. That and I had a feeling that it could have ended up being physical. That was last year. Now I moved back in with him about two weeks later and everything was ok and still is. However he does still get in the same moods but he stays in the office and I don't talk to him until he starts behaving the way he should. When we fight we do say the usual things to put one another down. But that rarelly happens. He has told me that he had been physcially abusive with his ex that was when he was 18 or 19 and was using drugs heavily. Now he doesn't use drugs because he went to prison and got cleaned up he got out four years ago and we've been together for 3. But you can not change the temperment of I man. It is impossible. I've had one guy hit me before (wasn't my bf) I kicked the living c___p out of him and haven't seen him since. Anytime he does start to show his dark side leave immediatley. Let him cool down then come back.

 

skinnyminny - June 6

I will keep you in my thoughts, because what you described seems really horrible. He has more than just anger issues, he's psychologically disturbed. To ask you why are you crying only to slap you?!? The b___d needs to be medicated, heavily. Please get out. You are still young (baby or not) and have plenty of time to find a MAN who loves you and would never hurt you.

 

iandiara - June 7

hey corrine i really think that you should really sit down and think about what you want to do..........i hope you make a very wise decision..........i have never been in a situation like that i guess because people kno me as being crazy but my friend has she wasn't as luck as you were she lost her baby and now she can never have kids again its a very sad situation so i hope you don't every want to put your child or your self n any kind of danger

 

Corrine321 - June 7

Zack and I sat down together and we had a calm conversation, and were taking a break from each other right now to see where things go.. We dont plan on seeing other people or doing things with other people.. We promised each other that! We are trying to keep things normal, we still are cuddling and kissing and stuff.. But were just taking a break from being with each other for the time being! Were hoping things will get better soon! He even said he doenst want Brooklynn growing up and seeing her parents fighting and such!

 

quinnies_mommy - June 7

Hi hun. Im glad that you talked to zack. And I am glad, you finally decided to take some action. Well, I will talk to you on msn later hun.

 

claudia perdomo - June 8

hi im claudia and well i know how u feel my boyfriend whom is 18 and im 15, well he doesn't beat me but he calls me names all the time and well ive only been w/ him for about 2 months and yea im pregnant about 2 weeks tho. but yea just like u im scared to leave him because i dont wanna go thru all this by myself i have no friends really but my sister whos my best friend n randy my bf. I also dont want my baby to b born w/ out a father but i rather have a good pregnancy and have a healthy baby than to have a baby that has some sort off mental illness because i was beat thru out the pregnancy so if ur getting what im saying its better for u to tell ur mother and stay away from him for a while untill he cools down a bit!!!

 

m_alvarenga - June 8

okay this is the first time im responding to someone! the only reason iam is beacuse i KINDA went through the same thing! the difference is that i wasn't pregnant i was older then im(but he was bigger then me) and i didnt have physical abuse.. only mental abuse! either way both of them hurt! what I did was i let it get to a certain extent. after a while im sure you get tired of it! right? this is what i did... i broke up with him when my mom was at home with me. so incase he tried to do something.. we wer not at home alone! then after a while he would keep calling my house my cell phone number(which i changed after a while) i woldn't stay home by myself... finally one day he found out my cousins number and he found out i was their and he called talking c___p to who ever answerd the phone! he kept calling me threatening me saying that "he better not see me on the streets or i would get it" so of course are girl is always scared and catious! so i called the cops on him... i filed a report.. abd i told them everything! so finally i guess the police contacted him and told him that if somehting happeend to me or my immediate family he was the first one they wer gonna look for! WELL I GUESS I DONT REALLY HAVE ADVICE FOR YOU.. ITS JUST AN EXAMPLE! LOVE IS A STRONG FEELING BUT DON'T LET THAT GET IN THE WAY OF LIVING YOUR LIFE AND STARTING ONE FOR YOUR BABY!!!

 

m_alvarenga - June 8

P.S GUYS COME AND GO BUT A LIFE IS ONLY ONCE!

 

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