Abortion Vs Keeping

16 Replies
... - September 18

ive been stuck in a bad situation. im 18 and i have been with my fiancee for years now. last month a co-worker gave me a ride home and raped me and now im pregnant. my fiancee is devestated and cant look at me without crying. i havent been able to see him since i told him. it tears him apart. i went to get the abortion pill and before it was administered to me i started crying and backed out. i decided if i were to go through with my pregnancy i might as well keep the baby. the only problem with that is that my fiancee doenst want to be with me if i have this baby. he doesnt want to raise a baby from someone that violated and hurt me. he cant look at my stomach without getting sick. i undertsnad how he feels. now i am re-considerng the abortion pill, but im not sure if i can do it.

 

..... - September 18

why didn't you get the morning after pill to make sure you wouldn't get pregnant...i think its worth the effort

 

lydia - September 18

I really feel for you, you are in an awful situation. All I can say is you have to do what is right for you. If you feel that you can raise this baby on your own without any resentment go ahead. How do your parents feel about it? Can you be happy without your fiance?

 

Liz - September 18

You need to do what is right for you. If your fince doesn't care about how u feel and wont put you first then you need to be done with hi. he may not love yo unconditionally but that baby growing inside of you does and it depends on you to stick up for it while it can't. It is obvious to me this is not somehting you should do. You can not get an abortion for anyoen else but urself if you do you will end up hating yourself and him as well b/c ou'll feel lik ehe pressured you into and it will reuin your relationship. Either way it might rec your relationship but at least one of the options you'd have a baby that loves you with allit heart. You need to make up your mind fast you can only get the abortion pill up to 7wks then you have to ve a surgical abortion and then they would tear your baby apart limb from limb.

 

... - September 19

Im sorry but i could not carry a baby by someone who raped me. IT would not be fair to the baby. How do you tell your kid how it was conceived? are you going to be happy everytime you see the child? I would take the pill I am sure though that i am going to be bashed for stating my opion thouh. I dont really care.

 

,.,.,.,.,., - September 20

what is the use in the first post? shoulda woulda coulda

 

Interesting - September 21

Interesting... all the pro-lifers are quick to jump on someone who is considering abortion due to a unwanted pregnacy in a commited relationship... but you tweek the situation and they don't have much to say at all.... it that because of the horribleness of this situation they may themselves consider an abortion??? Hmmmm.....Well, this is a very difficult situation, and I think you need to consider the long term effects of this. I don't think at this point the abortion pill will work. I do agree with the post about having a baby as the result of a rape. Now is the time to make this decision of keeping it or not. I can understand your fiance's feelings honestly, but it is ultimatly your disicion. I hope everything works out okay for you.

 

Huh? - September 21

I didn't see anyone jump on anyone here yet.

 

.... - September 21

Thats the point.... where are they???

 

Jaya - September 22

i had my baby girl through rape. i hated the pregnancy and just wanted to get rid of the thing inside me but i wasnt allowed. but when i eventually saw her all the hate just went and i love her more than i can love anything or anyone and the thing is shes too beautiful and fantastic to remind me of what happened. im now with a friend i have known years and he loves her as his own and all his family have accepted her and adore her. but i can understand how your fiance is feeling. it is hard and it doesnt mean he doesnt love you. it takes a lot of guts to bring up a rapists child and some men just cant do it and its nothing to be ashamed of. but i think you must do what you feel you have to do. if you go through with an abortion but are not sure its what you want you could feel resentful towards him. and pregnant or not he still has to deal with the fact that you were raped and needs to be patient with you

 

....... - September 22

I am very sorry for your situation. I truly hope everything works out for u whatever you decide. I will keep you, the baby, and your fiance in my mind and prayers.

 

js - September 22

Don't listen to the person who is talking about your fiance in a bad way - he is doing the best he can in dealing with what happened to you. You need to decided what is best for you. Personally, I don't think I could go through with the pregnancy, I have had an abortion before (a long time ago when I was stupid and young) and have regrets. But your situation is totally different. I would suggest talking to a counselor or you mom. Include your fiance in the conversations so he can try to understand where you are at this point. What ever you decide - I wish you the best of luck!!!

 

sarah - September 22

hey, im 17, 7 weeks preg and got dumped 2 days ago for deciding to keep my baby, i don't regret it, altho i didn't get raped, i'll cope without my bf, and there wil be more bf's sweetie. do wot u want coz it's ur body, and most of all UR baby, that's something u can love unconditionally, and the baby wil always love u back, what else could you ask for. after all ur bf may change his mind but if not theres plenty more fish in the see but that would be your first born u destoy! all the best x

 

Ben - September 22

I know where he is coming from, i wouldn't want to raise a kid that was brought into this world out of a violent act either. I don't think i could stay with a woman that had a kid to some other guy, specially in those circ_mstances. Its not that he don't care for you, he just couldn't cope with knowing the kid wasn't his. I would be offended if you kept the baby. I would beleive that you didn't care for your guys feelings too

 

- September 23

u can have the baby and give it to a family that cant have children, that way u wont have the bad feeling about what u did (abortion) and a family that wants kids or wants more kids can do so. just keep your option open

 

sara - September 23

i have been in your situation. i was 18 when i was raped by a coworker at work. i was engaged to my high school sweetheart, but when he foudn out he was torn apart. not directly at the fact that i was preg with another mans baby(cuz he understood very well that it was a act of violence and that i was not to blame) but becuz he couldnt get pa__sed the fact that i was a victim and how much i was hurting emoitonally dealing with this pregnancy knowing that i wasnt jsut dealing with a rape but a child in result of that. he would get sick everytime we spoke of the baby but out of hate for that awful man that was half of that baby i was carrying. i was no way wanting to abort the baby and he wanted nothing to do with a evil mans baby but we UNDERSTOOD that that baby was half mine and had nothing to do with the rape. we decided, although it was along and very emotionally pregnancy that i would give her up for adoption to a family that would love that baby reguardless of its biological parents. you and your fiance need to know that even though you may not want a thing to do with this baby there is a loving family wanting a child. you could not only save your relationship and help your self heal from this tramatic event but also make someones dream come true. talk to you fiance about that choice and im sure he will understand-- hopefully. that baby is half you, my dear, please think of that half atleast.

 

k - September 23

i hate to say this, but everything happens for a reason, maybe this child was meant to be in your life and God is trying to send you a message about your man, he needs to put his feelings aside and realize that you are going through this and you have to live with your decision, you can always give up the baby for adoption, think about yourself.

 

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