About To Be A Grandfather

6 Replies
Bugged Bear - October 10

Sorry if this sounds a little confusing. My daughter (16) just anounced to me the other day that she is, unfortunately, pregnant. I want to do the right thing with her and give her all the love and support I can. But how much is too much and how much is enough? She told me that she wants to have the baby, though she isnt decided on whether or not she wants to keep it. What can I be involved in before and after she has the baby?

 

kate - October 10

im happy to hear that ur going to do something u will reget later on, be happy but not to happy, u can support her with still being disapointed. u can go to dr. apt. with and if she does place her baby for adoption, keep it open. so that way ur family can get pictures, letters and depending on the adoptive family visits. but let her know how hard it is to be a young single mother. the time and money, it aslo will put a toll on ur family. just try to help her keep her head up during this time in her life, it wont get any easier from here is will just get harder. good luck

 

Stacey - October 10

kate i disagree with you, your daughter is 16 she is now old enough to know if she wants the baby or not. if you take it away from her belive me you will reget it. if you do keep it belive me this baby will bring such joy to your life i know its hard to realize that you baby is having a baby but the only thing you can do is be suportive of her and she will realive what responsibilities she now has. take care and good luck

 

Bugged Bear - October 10

Kate, Stacey; thanks for your input. I supose I sould have added that she is the only family I have since her mother pa__sed away a few years ago. So she is more precious to me than anything else. Barring some second cousins and twice removed uncles that is. The support part I get and understood from the word go but what else, surely there is something else I can do.

 

Patti - October 11

Wow. I am extremely impressed with the wya you're reaching out for help. That shows what a great father you are, and how open you are to suggestions and opinions on the "right thing". I am going to be 18 on the 22nd and 7 weeks along. I still haven't told my father, because in no way would he be as caring as you are. Millions of teenage mothers would love to have a father like you, and you should be commended for your reaction. I can understand how you feel, I mean this is YOUR BABY, not some statistic right? I'm sure she is scared and just wants to feel like you are going to love her no matter what happens. A good place to start I think would me to step back and take a good look at her, your her father and you know what she is and isn't capeable of, more than her, even if she doesn't feel that way. Research ALL of your options. Read everything you can get your hands on, and read them together with your daughter so you can learn your options together. As a parent unfortunately a mother and father to her be as involved as you can, she needs to know everything is going to be ok and most importantly that you are going to love her no matter what happens. I really hope everything works out for the best and i hope my post helps. You are an awesome father, and don't forget that! Even if she gets mad at you, there is no perfect parenting, and you only do the best you can, and that is all the matters. If you would like to e mail me, feel welcome to, [email protected]

 

Melissa - October 11

Bugged Bear, You are such an inspiration. Because your daughter is so young, she is going to be going through so much over these months. Is the father of the child around still? I'm luckily enough to have a very supportive father as well, I'm 19 and half way through my pregnancy. My dad is over the moon. But have also been with my partner for a while and we have been engaged for a while too. One part that is going to be hard is the final decision as to whether she keeps this baby or gives it up. This is something that you can help with, help her weigh up the good and bad points. If the partners not around, then she would most likely appreciate you helping her with the prenatal/ultrasound visits too. This way she knows that your going to support her no matter what. Do you have views on what decision you would like her to make at the end? Things will work out ok, just keep an open mind for the time being. Let us know how you are coping with it all still. I hope you and your daughter are well

 

heather - October 11

Support. Well my parents are allowing me to live with them. but it's my responsibility to take care of him and get him the things he needs. Talk with your daughter about how she's going to support the baby and things like that. You can come up with something together. In helping her decide to keep the baby or not. All teens think about it but after the baby starts kicking she's going to fall in love with it. giving the baby up would be so hard for both of you. She could look at some applications for adoption see if she can find a couple she really likes. just keep your options open. ALSO there's a great book i read about teen pregnancy and adoption,, it's called "i'm pregnant, now what?" have her read it and see if she thinks she can do it.

 

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